Sorry to hear about the double whammy. For the divorce, you might want to look into mediation. People who mediate often have a better experience. (you usually don't get to say anything you want in court, but get to communicate more in mediation). It might be much cheaper than divorce lawyers, and if you don't like the outcome, you can still go the lawyer route.
If you do go to court (ie she gets a lawyer) make sure you do get one too. I hate to see people pay tons of money to a lawyer for anything like that (and that is coming from some one graduated from law school, and waiting to see if I passed the bar).
Hopefully your wife will be grown up about it, and it can be resolved fairly, without the need to spend tons on lawyers.