"It's Not Our Fault. We Are Who We Are"

Shawn,
Sorry if this comes out sounding like I'm a repressed bigot, but persoonally, I don't feel that tall, fat, gay male minerals deserve any respect.
That's mostly due to a childhood event involving a huge and blubbery queer quartz that some girl threw at me left nostril.

Sorry, but that memory is still too painfull to forgive... or forget...especially since the rock giggled maniacally in a high pitched voice the entire time it was airborne!

Snorting heavily through right nostril (the only one that still works)
I remain,
Me
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VG,
ROFLMAO as usual after reading your post! You have a gift and you're not afraid to use it my friend!
Shawn
 
(Hee Hee Hee)

Always there to make a pointless point count with some knee-slapper of an anecdote he remains, VG.

Hey, even that Stinky Winky guy on the Telestubbies gets respect, and he's purple AND gay.

'Course, I did hear somewhere he's got a gun.....
 
Velitrius, that's not a gun that Tinky Winky's holding.
He's just happy to SEE ya!

Giggling maniacally in a homomineralical manner,
I remain,
VG
(Whoa... that last post just reminded me I'm outta meds!!)
 
Yes indeed I'm glad to be living in a free country where we all can say and do whatever we want. We can all have a little chuckle over something that means so much to me.
Maybe I feel so bad at the way those statements were used is because I was not born with my disability. I had 28 so called normal years of being on the "other side" as it were and now I have to wake up each day knowing how much my life has changed and what I can never get back. I guess I'm a little sensative because now I am the one that everybody points at and talks about where ever I go and finds that it just isn't the same for me anymore. The Blade Forum was a place where everyone was on the same ground,but no more. Here too I am now reminded of my loss. I am so glad to be alive but I don't feel that I should just say to myself "Grow up,it's a cruel world"
and basically do nothing about the things that bother me. I know there's a whole lot more people out there far worse off than me but I only speak for myself and I try not to say anything discriminatory about anyone because I know how badly it feels and how before my accident it hadn't meant that much to me. I'm not asking for sympathy, far from it. I'm asking,no I'm demanding RESPECT. Everyone deserves a little don't you think? I would no more trade places with you for a moment in time so you may see for yourself how I feel than say derogatory things about something you feel strongly about, like say your children. Yes it does sting a little but I hope you and your family will be blessed with good health and good fortune for as long as time allows.
I was never any good at expressing my feelings and it's even harder trying to with the written word. Were you here in person with me I guarentee I would have your FULL ATTENTION andRESPECT
I had hoped that we all could have learned something from this,and I believe that to be true.
 
I can tell you that all the fun and jokes at the end of the posts were just talk between members and had nothing to do with your post. This happens all the time and on nearly every post....... Don't take it personally. Posts get fragmented into micro-conversations all the time and sometimes the fragments end up being more interesting than the original posts. ;-)

I understand why you feel bad about the statement made but feel you may have overreacted a bit. Clearly you are in your right to be upset about those statements but I feel you could have gotten a much more effective response had you fine-tuned your post and perhaps addressed in a less personal fashion. It probably would have been more comfortable for you as well. Your situation truly is unfortunate and I wish that there were more that I/we/anyone could do about it individually or collectively. Just remember that the pointing, staring, comments, etc is more a reflection of the person doing those things than a reflection of you personally. Just be glad that those people show you up front how they are and that you don't end up wasting time, effort, feelings for X amount of time only to find out what type of person they 'really' are. As far as Bladeforums goes, I think you were/are getting respect but you just might not like the package it's wrapped in. People here respect you enough to read what you wrote, write their replies, and let you know if they think you had made any mistakes. This may not seem like respect but compare those actions to someone in public who points, makes some strange facial expression, then says something under their breath to the person their with then try to 'actively' ignore you and you might start to understand what I mean. You shouldn't feel badly here at all as everyone is with you on common ground in that we all love knives.

From what you say, it sounds like everything reminds you of your loss and that is a normal, painful, dreadfully painful both physically, emotionally, and psychologically thing to be going through. Unfortunately, it is also specifically personal in so much that the people around you and here on Bladeforums can only empathize with you which may seem so much more distant than sympathy but is all that you can really expect because your challenge is so personal...... Even people with similar challenges will only be able to sympathize so much and the rest will end up being support in an empathetic way but it is still support no matter how you slice it! I don't think you should sit back and do nothing about things either. Rather, I was just commenting on and suggesting you fine-tune your approach to get a better response. I would have posted the same way no matter who posted what you did cause I feel strongly about the things mentioned. I was driven even more so to respond because of your particular situation and I didn't want to 'ignore' your statements cause to me that is a far worse thing than ridicule, or prejudice. It's important to remember that people have to 'care' to respond in any way. As far as respect goes, you are getting it! Just maybe not in the form you had originally expected. The bad thing about communication on the net is that you can't see facial expressions and gestures which we all use to unconsciously clarify our statements..... So, instead all we can do is pick apart your 'typed' statement and derive our responses from there. I believe that respect comes in many forms and that it is initially 'given' temporarily but later is only 'earned' on a moment by moment basis. I really don't feel that REVMIC was being derogatory to you or your friend. I think he was pissed and he said something and it just happened to hit a soft spot and once there it stung like hell. The interesting thing about your responses, to me anyway, is that you never deny your friend is 'eccentric' or respond to the other things he said but rather aggressively object to the 'invalid' part. So, maybe your friend is a bit eccentric (As far as my personal experience goes, when I act a bit eccentric people usually just call me ******* but that's another story!) and maybe you were both close to agreeing on that part somewhat in that maybe your friend did not do what others would deem necessary or right. That's just speculation but seems logical enough. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if you could trade places with anyone who isn't in your situation for any amount of 'temporary' time that it would be the same. I imagine it would be similar to watching home movies for the person..... Not the real experience but merely a representation.

I think you are a very sensitive individual and that your accident has brought out some serious issues for you and that your feelings may be a bit more on the surface than before. I know I'm not you, but if you look at the posts here you may see my point but you will have to step back and view it from another perspective. We all have things we feel strongly about and I don't think you should hesitate or feel bad about anything that has gone on here. It is a learning experience for all of us and we should be happy to have it. Expressing yourself in a written way is a really difficult thing and in fact you did have my attention and respect but perhaps more of both than you originally guessed. I felt I saw a bit of pity coming out in your writing and from what my experience has taught me and from what I have learned from friends in similar situations to yours pity is a serious poison that should be dealt with immediately and sharply. I too feel that I have learned something here. And I feel better about it hearing your views in more detail and in a less aggressive manner and I hope you have come a step closer to understanding mine. Either way, I think we have grown together just a bit with the help of the good people here and all this started from your post so you should feel good about that. Next time it will be twice as effective and have even greater impacts!

Battle axe, it is my sincere wish that your burden is never so great that you cannot reach out with your heart or hand and rely on another......

Sincerely,
Shawn

 
Battle Axe,
I've been follwoing this thread for a while now, and I just want to comment on one thing. There is only one person in this world who can DEMAND my respect. You're not my father. Like every other person on this planet, you get to EARN my respect.
Don't get me wrong, I give everyone a certain amount of respect from the moment I meet them. Past that, it is up to the individual whether that amount goes up or down.

Dave.

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No man with a good car needs to be justified.
 
For the people that are confused about this post, Please read mine... Its called "Setting the Record Straight" It should clear up everything. Thank You! especially Battleaxe, because he went to bat for me... And I thank him for that.
smile.gif


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BC...For those who fought for it, Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know... Semper Fi
 
narruc1,

Hi. Haven't had a chance to talk with you for a while. I hope this discussion didn't get to either of you too much. The one thing that most people don't realize is that it isn't self pity, self esteem, or any of that stuff that is really a problem. With time and effort those can be dealt with pretty well. I think that the most difficult, and misunderstood effect of a disability is the anger. There seems to be no reason, purpose, or justification for the disability. And there is no way to undo it. The anger may not be obvious, but it's there. This may be why reactions and actions may appear a bit intense, even irrational, for a given situation. I really don't know if this ever completely goes away. Some folks can use it to achieve greatness. But for the majority, it's another hurdle to overcome.

Best Wishes

Dave



[This message has been edited by Columbo (edited 05-19-2000).]
 
Geeze, Old Soldier, couldn't you at least correct my typo when ya quoted me?
wink.gif

Defiantly jealous of all those one-armed people that are allowed to possess auto-knives, and insisting that gay rocks not be allowed to marry,
I remain,
VG
 
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