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- Aug 1, 2012
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Handout from one of the teachers at the high school
wow... if that is real, that is pretty damn bad... but funny.
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The BladeForums.com 2024 Traditional Knife is available! Price is $250 ea (shipped within CONUS).
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I've caught the giveaway/contest bug!
- Thread starter woofington
- Start date
wow... if that is real, that is pretty damn bad... but funny.
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- Jul 14, 2011
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- 687
Using a dull knife is pointless. Using a sharp one gives you an edge.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
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- 680
[video=youtube;vBzPsY3D58k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBzPsY3D58k&list=FL4hLsfM3pY0p0qKDoiaPenw& index=7[/video]
This one had me going!
This one had me going!
Last edited:
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 680
Heard this about 6 years ago but had me laughing!
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're a real jerk you're drunk."
---This was my post before but didn't see the 4 post maximum.
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're a real jerk you're drunk."
---This was my post before but didn't see the 4 post maximum.
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- Dec 2, 2005
- Messages
- 71,444
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler!
Go for the juggler!
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- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 680
[video=youtube;zB7MichlL1k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB7MichlL1k[/video]
Here's another!
Here's another!
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Messages
- 4,441
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
And now for the picture comedy
For the nerds in the audience
Just a squirrel, tryin to get a nut
Good Parenting
And to finish it all off
No thanks, i don't need help getting it to the car. I brought my wife
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
And now for the picture comedy
For the nerds in the audience
Just a squirrel, tryin to get a nut
Good Parenting
And to finish it all off
No thanks, i don't need help getting it to the car. I brought my wife
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- Joined
- Dec 2, 2005
- Messages
- 71,444
My kind of conquest! Thanks for the GAW and Gawfs so far!
" Thanks to fossils, archaeologists have been able to determine that there once a genetic mutation millions of year ago, causing the creation of a five-legged dinosaur. As far as we know, this is the first evidence we have ever seen of a reptile dysfunction."
" Thanks to fossils, archaeologists have been able to determine that there once a genetic mutation millions of year ago, causing the creation of a five-legged dinosaur. As far as we know, this is the first evidence we have ever seen of a reptile dysfunction."
A man gets pulled over speeding. The trooper approaches his window and asks for his drivers license and registration. The man says, sorry officer, I cant do that.
Why not?
Well officer, I have a gun in the glove box.
The officer then asks the man to step out of the car.
Sorry officer, I'm afraid I cant do that either.
Why not?
Well, If I step out of the car you will probably see the body I have in the back seat.
The officer steps back, draws his weapon, and radio's for backup.
When a second officer arrives on scene, he approaches the man in the vehicle from the passenger side.
Excuse me sir, may I see your drivers license and registration?
Absolutely officer, and the man proceeds to open his glove box to retrieve his registration, with no gun in site.
The officer asks, will you please step out of the vehicle so I can look in the back seat?
Absolutely officer, and the man steps out of the car and shows the officer an empty back seat.
The officer says, I am very sorry sir, there has been a huge misunderstanding.
The driver says, no problem officer, I'll bet that asshole told you I was speeding too...
Why not?
Well officer, I have a gun in the glove box.
The officer then asks the man to step out of the car.
Sorry officer, I'm afraid I cant do that either.
Why not?
Well, If I step out of the car you will probably see the body I have in the back seat.
The officer steps back, draws his weapon, and radio's for backup.
When a second officer arrives on scene, he approaches the man in the vehicle from the passenger side.
Excuse me sir, may I see your drivers license and registration?
Absolutely officer, and the man proceeds to open his glove box to retrieve his registration, with no gun in site.
The officer asks, will you please step out of the vehicle so I can look in the back seat?
Absolutely officer, and the man steps out of the car and shows the officer an empty back seat.
The officer says, I am very sorry sir, there has been a huge misunderstanding.
The driver says, no problem officer, I'll bet that asshole told you I was speeding too...
Thanx for that! My sides hurt!
One Sunday evening while my husband was away, I was sitting in church with my two boys, ages two and four. I didn't expect that they would listen to very much, I was just content that they were quiet.
When the Scripture in Matt. 5:22 "anyone who hates his brother will be guilty of murder" was read, I heard the small worried voice of my four year old say "Uh-oh
When the Scripture in Matt. 5:22 "anyone who hates his brother will be guilty of murder" was read, I heard the small worried voice of my four year old say "Uh-oh
