Knife conspiracies, lies, and Deceptions

Sharpski

Sharpski

Joined
Jun 10, 2012
Messages
784
Whats the craziest story you told your wife, girlfriend, friend, ect about why you had so many knives, and what they ACTUALLY cost you.. I know im not the only one to hover by the mailbox all day
to avoid new package detections, or had a close call the last time I heard "you got another package today...what did you order?!"
 
I tell friends and/or family that I sell my old knives to pay for new knives. Want to know the truth? I dont sell any of them.
 
"Whenever a Khukuri is unsheathed, it must taste blood"

I told my mum i won a knife but it doesn't work the 2nd time.
 
"This is the last knife I'm going to buy this year"

This one doesn't work any more, especially with a sh^t eatin grin on my face (that im trying not to have).
 
With family they know I spent a lot but I've managed to keep the exact figure under the carpet
Otherwise Im just plain honest and people never ask me again
 
"This knife is a reproduction scalping knife, used by Apache Indians to mutilate their fallen enemies. I bought a piece of history." - When describing a recent Ontario TAK-1 purchase to my skeptical mom

"This knife? My military friend gave it to me. It's tasted Iraqi blood!" - When questioned about my Ka-Bar USMC
 
get to the mail before anyone else, always say "it would" "it normally" or "some people but it for" instead of "it cost", and some of them trades and gifts that I traded money and gave a gift of money in return for. :p
 
Getting to the mailbox first is crucial to my deception.

"Hey, when did you buy this?"

"What do you mean? You must be gettin' old, I've had this one for years."
 
Maybe not as bad as some of you, but with the dallas gun and knife show this weekend, Ive now spent over 800 since February. I've told her how it is and if she's disliked it then she has hidden if from me so far. She usually feigns interest and asks me question about construction and steels and whatnot.

Plus I slap her. Not frequently, but often enough.

Now my mom on the other hand.... "I've had this a while now....."
 
Ive been known to get it dirty and put it in a box or bag in the closet, car etc...and say "look what I found!...or I wondered where this went!" And ideally I can time it so she finds it and then I give her a big hug and she feels good. Trying to work on a pavlovian response thing.
 
I have a guy in the PO hold my packages instead of having them delivered. He just sends me an SMS when I have one for pickup. :D
 
I tell my wife that I spend less on my knives than she spends to cut and color her hair. This is no lie....
 
arty said:
I tell my wife that I spend less on my knives than she spends to cut and color her hair. This is no lie....
Click to expand...

BINGO!!!
I also pulled the old "hey, look what I found in an old box" routine. It went well. She insisted it was a knife she bought for me a while back.
 
I laughed at every one of these..

gusbubba said:
BINGO!!!
I also pulled the old "hey, look what I found in an old box" routine. It went well. She insisted it was a knife she bought for me a while back.
Click to expand...

True pro here! I love that she thinks she actually got it for you! I Usually conceal it as long as possible then if she notices its new say "I have had had this one for years". I also have a "gift" for her on hand so I can always fall back on "I was going to suprise you but I guess I will give it to you now..at least let me wrap it!" when she discovers a new package she got to before me! Haha

What we do for our knives!
 
I have my items shipped to my bestfriends house. And leave my knife box in his storage and take my knives home ;D
 
When people question the cost I just tell them that one day, if they're ever as successful as I am, they can afford to buy all of the nice things they want to... Then I offer them ICE for that BURN.
 
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