Recommendation? Legal advice

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Friend, nobody has said anything about you that you did not already disclose. But you have related the situation and believe me (us) it stinks. The more you told about the situation, the more those of us who have been around that kind of stink before were able to recognize it. The fact that you did not recognize it shows your inexperience. Nobody has to know you personally to be able to correctly state you blinded yourself by lust. You say it was a mistake to post here, yet, as everyone has been saying, you would eventually realize that everyone is right about the situation, and thankfully it has happened before you ended up in a world of hurt, although for all we know that option is not yet off the table as far as her and her "ex" go.

But you see that the advice you were given to get out of there was correct, so the only thing that got hurt by seeking advice here is your ego, and that only because you refused to heed the good advice given, and ignore the warning signs that were quite thoroughly pointed out to you.
 
trust me when I say many of us have gotten got in one form of another and that’s okay, it’s life. You’ll see more ups and downs if you’re lucky. Just watch out for wasting the most valuable thing ever:time.
ONEBIGBOWIE said:
Well I'm done with her. Some shit happened tonight and I don't want to go into details but basically I gave her $240 for her rent (yes I know I'm a dumbass for that.) And she basically made up a bullshit story and backed out doing anything. Lesson learned. I think I kinda knew she was bad from the beginning, I was just really hopeful to finally get a girlfriend (never had one) that I tried to deny it to myself. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I also learned not to go to the internet for advice on stuff like this. It just doesn't work good. Nobody on here knows me personally and between people assuming things about me and guys who basically just calling me a dumbass it's not a good idea. I'm not mad or even surprised about the responses I got. That's the internet for you. I am kinda surprised how many people got in on this.
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Casinostocks said:
Has the OP tried to post in some other community's public forum perhaps with more sympathetic members toward his cause and this poor girl's plight? Knife folks are such meanies who apparently don't know / care much about the chivalrous concerns of a true captain-fix-a-ho.
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To be fair to the OP, we don't know what this girl looks like. He should post a picture of her and if she truly be a goddess he may be able to come to the rescue leading an army of knife wielding forum members...…Yes! Unlikely (not-a-chance), but if we are going to play in fantasy land we may as well roll with it.

n2s
 
At $240 I’d say (hope) you learned a lesson relatively cheaply. It could have been much, much, worse. I must take issue with your view on the value of the advice you got here. While some of it may have been pretty biting, scathing, sarcastic, unsympathetic, etc., it was also 100% correct. If you’d heeded it you’d be in exactly the same position, but with an additional $240 in your pocket. Next time, spend the money on eharmony, match.com, or something other than “strung out hookers R’us.”
 
HappyDaddy said:
At $240 I’d say (hope) you learned a lesson relatively cheaply. It could have been much, much, worse. I must take issue with your view on the value of the advice you got here. While some of it may have been pretty biting, scathing, sarcastic, unsympathetic, etc., it was also 100% correct. If you’d heeded it you’d be in exactly the same position, but with an additional $240 in your pocket. Next time, spend the money on eharmony, match.com, or something other than “strung out hookers R’us.”
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That's exactly right. Trust us, some of us took a long time to realize we were in a bad relationship and by the time we did it cost us houses, cars, alimony, etc. - $240 ain't squat and if you managed to tag her a couple times , a nice night out is $120 easy. Even if you didn't, millions of guys spend a lot more than $240 everywhere in every city on this planet nightly and never have any luck , that's the game. No shame, you're only 20, we were all young once. Now do yourself a favor and go get checked for STDs, may as well get a clean bill of health and put your mind at ease- and NO, it's not embarrassing, it's common sense.
 
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ONEBIGBOWIE said:
Well I'm done with her. Some shit happened tonight and I don't want to go into details but basically I gave her $240 for her rent (yes I know I'm a dumbass for that.) And she basically made up a bullshit story and backed out doing anything. Lesson learned. I think I kinda knew she was bad from the beginning, I was just really hopeful to finally get a girlfriend (never had one) that I tried to deny it to myself. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I also learned not to go to the internet for advice on stuff like this. It just doesn't work good. Nobody on here knows me personally and between people assuming things about me and guys who basically just calling me a dumbass it's not a good idea. I'm not mad or even surprised about the responses I got. That's the internet for you. I am kinda surprised how many people got in on this.
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You're welcome I guess....

You've got a lot to learn kid. At the top of the list is don't pay money for what you can get for free.
 
ONEBIGBOWIE said:
Well I'm done with her. Some shit happened tonight and I don't want to go into details but basically I gave her $240 for her rent (yes I know I'm a dumbass for that.) And she basically made up a bullshit story and backed out doing anything. Lesson learned. I think I kinda knew she was bad from the beginning, I was just really hopeful to finally get a girlfriend (never had one) that I tried to deny it to myself. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I also learned not to go to the internet for advice on stuff like this. It just doesn't work good. Nobody on here knows me personally and between people assuming things about me and guys who basically just calling me a dumbass it's not a good idea. I'm not mad or even surprised about the responses I got. That's the internet for you. I am kinda surprised how many people got in on this.
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Finally get a girlfriend???
Oh you poor thing. This has gone from hysterical to just plain sad......really really sad.
 
My Mom lost her life savings, twice. Both times con men, but it was easy, she was desperate to be with someone, anyone. She declared bankruptcy and we moved from my childhood home to a run down apartment for years till she could get back on her feet.

I beg my kids to develop their independence and individuality before dating is even a possibility. To never be dependent on a relationship other than God and family. I know, I've been there also, but life needs to be lived free of the burden of codependency.
 
Asking here is probably the best thing you could have done. You got lots of great advice you needed to hear.

Don’t beat yourself up over this. Just a life lesson and a funny story someday.

Give up on looking for a girlfriend learn to be content with by yourself. Set yourself up financially and career wise.

Then when you least expect it the perfect girl will come along.

Best of luck friend.
 
ONEBIGBOWIE said:
Well I'm done with her. Some shit happened tonight and I don't want to go into details but basically I gave her $240 for her rent (yes I know I'm a dumbass for that.) And she basically made up a bullshit story and backed out doing anything. Lesson learned. I think I kinda knew she was bad from the beginning, I was just really hopeful to finally get a girlfriend (never had one) that I tried to deny it to myself. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I also learned not to go to the internet for advice on stuff like this. It just doesn't work good. Nobody on here knows me personally and between people assuming things about me and guys who basically just calling me a dumbass it's not a good idea. I'm not mad or even surprised about the responses I got. That's the internet for you. I am kinda surprised how many people got in on this.
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I've been reading, and I have to be honest. I've never been in a situation like you were in and the internet can be a weird place to ask a question like this. BUT, sometimes we really need to be called a dumbass, and that's all of us. Wait 5 years, and the person calling you a dumbass will be you, trust me. I think you got pretty decent advice, overall. They didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, they told you what you needed to hear. Were they nice about it? No. Should they have been? Would you have listened if they were?

Reading your responses, which really doesn't read tone well and all that, it seems like at a minimum they raised enough of a "GET OUT!!" alarm that you at least began to consider it a little more.

The desire to help people is a great attribute, and people that prey on people wishing to do good for the world get a very low standing in society to me. I live near Detroit and the common theme from many people is "help no one" because they're more likely to be a robber than someone actually in distress. Someone's car broke down? Nope, just sitting there waiting for someone to stop because they want your car too. They even go as far as jumping in front of your car so when you stop to check on them, their buddy takes your car.

Point being, there's a lot of surprisingly intelligent people around here and while some joking told you to be the hero, the majority picked up on the situation pretty quickly.

Best advice I have, if you want to find decent people, go to places decent people hang out. That applies to a lot, like if you don't want to get mugged, stay out of areas where people get mugged a lot (like where the hookers hang out). Same thing can be said for drugs and alcohol.

Hopefully you are able to reflect and learn from this situation and no other ill will becomes of the less than ideal people you were dealing with. For helping people who were in her situation, and actually wanted to get help, I would look into talking with the police, a church, or some other institution that specializes in helping people in her situation. There are more and more anti-sex trafficking organizations that could probably give you advice on handling such situations, what to look out for, and how to help them without putting yourself at risk. I've only experienced this with alcohol abusers, and the rule of thumb was to never give them money and to only offer places they could go for help, and maybe some verbal encouragement to go there. Addicts tend to be master manipulators and it's really hard to tell when they're being honest with you.

Best of luck, and again, I think many of the guys here told you what you needed to hear, not what you wanted. It may have hurt your pride a bit, but I think all things considered, it turned out in your favor to post this question for more experienced and wiser people to throw some knowledge and caring words your way.

P.S. I really suck at writing short posts, if you read the 1st 2 paragraphs and the last are probably the most helpful for you.
 
I just stay out of these kinds of situations. But I know the human urge to help somebody, especially if you're male and the person needing help is female. A friend of mine does this more often than I care to admit.... he has brought entire families into his home to help them over a rough spot. People he didn't even know. I say he's just setting himself up for getting stuff stolen from him, beaten or worse. The $240 thing is what triggered my response. The problem is that the rough spot never ends and they bleed you until you end up trying to kick them out and they won't leave and you call the police. Even then, they still bug you. He even lent his cell phone to one and they kept it.... THAT really bugged me because I pay for that phone every month as a gift to him. In the case of the phone, I killed it immediately.

My advice is stay away from people like this. In most cases, they have problems beyond $ which you are not qualified or able to help with. Send them to a shelter or church.
 
ONEBIGBOWIE said:
Well I'm done with her. Some shit happened tonight and I don't want to go into details but basically I gave her $240 for her rent (yes I know I'm a dumbass for that.) And she basically made up a bullshit story and backed out doing anything. Lesson learned. I think I kinda knew she was bad from the beginning, I was just really hopeful to finally get a girlfriend (never had one) that I tried to deny it to myself. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I also learned not to go to the internet for advice on stuff like this. It just doesn't work good. Nobody on here knows me personally and between people assuming things about me and guys who basically just calling me a dumbass it's not a good idea. I'm not mad or even surprised about the responses I got. That's the internet for you. I am kinda surprised how many people got in on this.
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....... you dodged a bullet, perhaps literally. And you don't find a "girlfriend" with sex that involves an exchange of $s. I am not sure what kind of response you expected here, what you got was good advice about the path you were heading down. Would you have preferred that everyone here jumped in with "good on you champ....you are a hero....keep up the good work" or would you prefer a level of honesty and the reality check about what you were heading into ?? While some called you a dumbarse (you are, we all were to one degree or another at 20) even then it was because they saw what it was you were getting yourself involved with. Most tried to lay out what it was happening for you so you could hopefully see it for what it was before it was too late. I know you say you learned no to go to the "internet" for advice...well in this case I can't say how you can say that it didn't actually serve you well.
 
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