Major Life Changes...

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jsmatos said:
I've been through a really difficult week this week.


God knew what I needed. He's still with me after all... :o

And if you actually made it to the bottom of this post, thank you for reading. Please keep me in your prayers.
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You probably don't remember my marital problems but we now have an armed truce. I cannot afford to give my wife what she asked for. She is not willing to accept a reasonable settlement. Sooo,we're still together .It is not easy but we're enduring. I'll be 76 next month & therefore the sands of time are about all at the bottom.

You are very bright,have good business sense & have an opportunity to do well . Youth & God are a plus. I wish you the very best in your new beginning.
Please yourself for a change. I knew a lady years ago that left her husband for just cause. She bought a blood red Firebird & had the entire hood covered with a painting of an eagle with 6" letters proclaiming FREEDOM below it.

Not suggesting that you go to that extreme ,but do indulge yourself.If some of your hurt is from a feeling of rejection,forget it.

God loves you & so do we.

Uncle Alan
 
With your present attitude it looks like you will work out whatever you need to and are already moving forward. Divorce is never good and I understand what you said about divorce being a failure. It is a failure but it takes two people to be married so some things are out of our hands and no matter what you have done to try to save the marriage you just can't do it alone. I sincerely hope you can keep your good outlook and the pain does diminish over time/years just like a wound. Best Wishes...Ed.
 
You have an amzing attitude, and have a lot of faith in God, it shows!! GOOD FOR YOU!! Your ex-husband WILL be kicking himself when he realized what a great person he pushed away & let go of!! Blade is June 16,17, and 18th.
 
Sorry to hear of your troubles. You mentioned a previous problem in a thread from a year or two ago, and I wondered if things had worked out. It sounds like the situation ended up painful in the short term, but the right decision in the long term for you. Anyone who has read a few of your posts knows that you've got a lot going for you. Hang in there, and best wishes!
 
Jennifer, you are such a smart young lady. If you can, stay even more involved with your church for there is refuge there. You are worthwhile. You are a wonderful person. Never, ever doubt yourself as far as that goes. We love you.:)
 
Jen, I'm sorry to hear that things haven't worked out for you and your husband. That's his loss, though. That guy needs his head looked at ....

Anyway, best of luck to you.
 
Jennifer, your smart and lucky to be able to keep your head straight, you've given advice to people in similar situations in the past, follow your gut, make the best of you have.

Whenever a relationship ends wheter by death or unhappiness it sucks, when you;ve invested your energy and time in a relationship and it goes wrong you'll always feel let down.

Like you said your strong, smart and attractive, your priorities are right, you've got a lot of friends here and were all pullin' for you.

You'll be in my prayers.

A giggle or two for ya:

~~~~~

"Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole."

~~~~~

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Keep the faith, the Big Guy upstairs has your back.
 
Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you in ways that I cannot describe.
 
Wishing the best for you Jennifer...things always work themselves out:thumbup:
 
I'm really sorry to hear the news, Jen, but relieved to hear that you're getting through it so well.

No special advice from me--I've never been there. You've gotten plenty of good advice from smart people here.

But I do foresee a 20% near-term rise in testosterone levels in the Jacksonville area...maybe 100% at the Blade show.

I want to say "keep us posted" but I think we can count on that, right? :D
 
Thanks everyone.

Today was a pretty difficult day. Today was Law Day, and I had to sit there and listen to the President of the Florida Bar talk about how you can judge a person by their family. There I was thinking that my "family" didn't want to be with me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be with him either. I understand that it is "his" problem. I know who I am and that I'm worthwhile. It just made me feel rather isolated. I have to keep reminding myself that there are plenty of people who have gone through divorce. I have plenty of people who love me.

On the other hand, since I took my wedding ring off, the men around me are behaving oddly. I forgot how differently men treated me when I was single. There was one guy there who is a big shot attorney here in Florida that wouldn't take his eyes off me. Funny thing is, his wife was one of my professors in law school. JERK. I didn't take the ring off to put myself back on the market. I removed it because it's depressing. I don't see a reason to wear it anymore.
 
It has been said that there is good even in bad times, because you find out who your friends really are.
Also good because you find out who the jerks are, too.

:p Illegitimis non carborundum. :p​
 
jen,
i wish you all the best--you have a good head on your sholders and you will do well--your husband will realize what a fool he he was to loose you.
to show you how things can turn out i was married two times before when i was young--one child from each marrage--thought i was a real loser as far as a relationship goes--devorced the second time at 26--stayed single till i was 29--met the woman of my like--Carmen--Feb.14th we celebrated 26 years togeather--wish i could have meet her when i was young--would have only been married once--lol
 
Esav Benyamin said:
It has been said that there is good even in bad times, because you find out who your friends really are.
Also good because you find out who the jerks are, too.
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The funny thing is, his friends all support me. He's come home a couple of times and told me "So and so wants to take you out to lunch" or "So and so was upset when I told him..." When we had problems awhile back some of his friends told him that he would be crazy to leave me.

Unfortunately, he asked me not to tell anyone locally about the divorce. As he put it, "You're leaving, but I still have to live here." You see, it's a very small town, and the people here love me. I wouldn't have said anything bad about him. I know his image is important here. He asked that I give him a chance to tell everyone around here. I asked him not to bad mouth me. He replied, "I don't have anything bad to say about you." :rolleyes:

My friends, family, and co-workers (who are also friends) all have been very supportive.
 
Ms. Matos,

You and I haven't corresponded directly but, after reading your posts, the thing that immediately comes to mind is, "If the unbeliever leaves, let him go. You were called to live in peace." I think you can hold tightly to that verse.
Unfortunately, he asked me not to tell anyone locally about the divorce.
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Eh, that statement sounded like he's shuffling a bit of his responsibility or choice onto you. You have your own life and the right to do as you choose and say what you want, to whomever you please. I'm not advocating you bad-mouth him, as you already stated that you won't; rather, it's not your responsibility to protect him or guard your words for his sake.

I think that you hit the nail on the head about your attempted pregnancy - God was most definitely looking out for you! And, in fact, He still is :) You can count on Him. He loves you, always has, always will. "If God is for me, who can be against me?"

Hang in there, Ms. Matos. God has a hope and a (good) future in store for you!

-Zack
 
Jen -

This sounds like alot whining and too much talking to me. I can't believe you were blind-sided by this. You really truly knew it was coming. Just move on. Nobody likes to be dumped on with someone else's problems. We have enough of our own to take care of.

Got any knives you want to sell?
 
DGG said:
Nobody likes to be dumped on with someone else's problems. We have enough of our own to take care of.

Got any knives you want to sell?
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There's a reason this is in Community Center, where we do hope to help with each others' problems.

Buy your knives in the trade forums.
 
DGG said:
Jen -

This sounds like alot whining and too much talking to me. I can't believe you were blind-sided by this. You really truly knew it was coming. Just move on. Nobody likes to be dumped on with someone else's problems. We have enough of our own to take care of.

Got any knives you want to sell?
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It's funny, if someone sticks to a marriage through hard times and it works out, then people congratulate them and consider their effort worthwhile. But if you stick to a marriage, trying to work through issues and it doesn't work, then you're an idiot. :rolleyes: I still believe that people are too cavalier when it comes to marital commitment. I work with enough elderly couples to know that most couples who do make it through a lifetime together go through MAJOR challenges together. Why didn't they see the writing on the wall?

I think that I've been here long enough trying to help other forumites through their life problems (publicly and privately) that it would be acceptable for me to discuss my divorce. It only began a week ago, so I don't believe it's just alot of "whining and too much talking". Actually, I've already indicated acceptance and a huge push to move on with my life. I sincerely hope that no one treats you with the same coldness and disregard that you have me when you have a life-changing problem.
 
Jen:
I can reason that you are an intelligent woman from your postings here. I just want to offer support. A few friends of mine have been divorced, and mostly they felt that they had failed, even years afterwards. "if I had just done this..." came up alot. You'll grieve, and be angry, it's totally natural. I would reach out to the people in your community, though. Just because He's asking you not to talk, Why shouldn't you? Good luck, Jen.
 
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