To the original post:
You know, I may come off as insulting, but its not my intention.
Two things interested me about your post in specific.
#1
The way when something like this happens, people will get the mentality that everything was for nothing, it was all worthless, or 9 years of love and dedication down the drain. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but going through a 9 year relationship is an experience that cannot possibly be taken away by a divorce. Yes, things have taken an unexpected turn, but does that really invalidate everything you've done? Maybe he doesn't give it the appreciation he should, and from the sounds of it that's probably how it is. That doesn't change the fact that all the things you've done have given you oppurtunities to grow as a person, to strengthen your character and to do things you've never done before. When people consider a process worthless due to the result, it often baffles me. I think that's the persont hemselves throwing those 9 years away. When you look back and see all that you went through, I don't see how you coul dpossibly deem such a thing worthless (Maybe I'm just pissing about on your phrasing here, you very wel could not mean this literally. If so ignore all this I suppose). I can look back on things I consider my lowpoints in life and find much good in them. An example is how I've come to the conclusion that I do not love any of my immediate family. It's really made me struggle to want to be kind to them at times. I don't have that unconditional desire to help them out like a lot of people do. It's really opened my eyes to all the things they have done for me and all the good that is in them, because due to my lack of wanting to help them, I've mentally searched out reasons to make such feelings unjustified, which they are. Or when I went to DH for a month of my summer after my freshman year...I met a lot of people that had very little hope in life and it was a stark contrast between them and myself. I was overflowing with faith in my abilities, and still am, and many of these people wanted nothing more than to move out, get a GED and never be heard from again.
#2
The whole paragraph on not being able to have this mans child, then placing that events responsibility in the hands of God. I'm not going to sit here and question the fact that you believe in something I don't (Which alone shows that you have a certain understanding I currently do not have) but the fact that you'd attribute such an occurance to God it what interests me. This is a characteristic I see a lot in religious folk. Their own ignorance prevents them from seeing the positivity in a situation they disagree with (Smething we're all guilty of), then after the fact when they can look back and see that positivity, they thank God for it. What role did God play in any of this? What is there to suggest that life simply did not play itself out, that while God may have planted the seeds for everything that is, things are simply following its due course? I don't know, but it seems like religious folk are too quick to attribute things they did not initially see to the benevolence of an omnipotent creator.
I'm sorry if none of this is coherant, this is my first time consuming liquor.
Again, I tell you these things not to insult you. I know you're going through something I've never experienced and I cannot fully say what it is you feel for the simple fact that all of us are unique in how we perceive our reality. I was just worried that you may not be as open to the benefits of a seemingly negative situation, but I could be completely wrong. Best of luck to yourself and whatever path you decide to take in life, may you find happiness along with the rest of us here at BF.
Her- "I don't want the Brady bunch." Me- "I thought you didn't have a list." Her- "Everyone has a list." 
