Major Life Changes...

[Vivi]

I will. I have my reasons for this, but alcohol isn't ever going to be a routine staple of my life.

 

[Ken C.]

Vivi,

This is your first and only warning. Do not post drunk or you will find yourself on the outside looking in.

 

[Vivi]

My apologies. I wasn't aware posting under the influence of a substance wasn't tolerated, I thought as long as one abided by the rules of a forum thigns would go smoothly. I'll take my leave for the time being.

Our of curiosity though, how would you detect whether I'm posting sober or not aside from me informing you of such? No one has ever raised question to the posts I've made here while stoned, so I'd assume it's not too obvious what state of mind I'm in when I discuss knives here.

 

[Ken C.]

My apologies. I wasn't aware posting under the influence of a substance wasn't tolerated, I thought as long as one abided by the rules of a forum thigns would go smoothly. I'll take my leave for the time being.

Our of curiosity though, how would you detect whether I'm posting sober or not aside from me informing you of such? No one has ever raised question to the posts I've made here while stoned, so I'd assume it's not too obvious what state of mind I'm in when I discuss knives here.

I can't but when you claim that you have been drinking (and mostly everyone who is drunk makes it known that they are) I will not tolerate it especially after I asked that the negativity in this thread cease. If you want to post while drunk and spew your BS go do it in W&C.

 

[Vivi]

Sorry, I wasnt attempting to be negative, merely raising points of interest to myself. If I offended anyone I apoligize. The things I said would of been said under any state of mind, they are not a product of my lack of sobriety. Regardless, I'll follow what you said. Thanks for your timely reply, I'm going to go whittle some stuff.

 

[jsmatos]

I didn't think Vivi's post was insulting. The only thing that hinted at it was the statement, "I may come off as insulting." So my answers follow:

The way when something like this happens, people will get the mentality that everything was for nothing, it was all worthless, or 9 years of love and dedication down the drain. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but going through a 9 year relationship is an experience that cannot possibly be taken away by a divorce. Yes, things have taken an unexpected turn, but does that really invalidate everything you've done? Maybe he doesn't give it the appreciation he should, and from the sounds of it that's probably how it is. That doesn't change the fact that all the things you've done have given you oppurtunities to grow as a person, to strengthen your character and to do things you've never done before. When people consider a process worthless due to the result, it often baffles me. I think that's the persont hemselves throwing those 9 years away. When you look back and see all that you went through, I don't see how you coul dpossibly deem such a thing worthless (Maybe I'm just pissing about on your phrasing here, you very wel could not mean this literally. If so ignore all this I suppose).

In the heat of the moment, it certainly felt like nine years were being wasted. I've always believed that life is more about the journey than the destination. I thought the same about marriage. In my mind, loving and supporting one another through life's struggles is one of the most important parts of marriage. It's the sticking by each other through those challenges that should further reinforce the relationship. At the end of the day, you should appreciate that about each other. Don't get me wrong, there should be plenty of good times in between, but a lifetime is a long time. There will be challenge, even chaos. What a gift to have someone who's willing to see you through it and bolster you up along the way.

I found your post interesting because I've discussed this at length with friends and family. You're right, nine years wasn't wasted. I don't regret one moment of it. For whatever reason, I don't have any anger or resentment. My friends and family don't seem to understand it. My conscious is clear, and I'm walking away from this marriage feeling good about the person I was in the marriage. I realize that I'm being set free to find something more. And I did learn a great deal about myself. Most importantly, I know that I have the capacity to love completely. That's an amazing thing to know about yourself. I, therefore, know that I have the ability (in the distant future ) to have the type of relationship that I desire because I know what it means to truly love someone. I'm sure it sounds really silly, but this realization has sustained me in so many ways.

The whole paragraph on not being able to have this mans child, then placing that events responsibility in the hands of God. I'm not going to sit here and question the fact that you believe in something I don't (Which alone shows that you have a certain understanding I currently do not have) but the fact that you'd attribute such an occurance to God it what interests me. This is a characteristic I see a lot in religious folk. Their own ignorance prevents them from seeing the positivity in a situation they disagree with (Smething we're all guilty of), then after the fact when they can look back and see that positivity, they thank God for it. What role did God play in any of this? What is there to suggest that life simply did not play itself out, that while God may have planted the seeds for everything that is, things are simply following its due course? I don't know, but it seems like religious folk are too quick to attribute things they did not initially see to the benevolence of an omnipotent creator.

This wasn't insulting either. I have plenty of close friends, including my best friend, who are nonbelievers. As long as we are all respectful about it, I don't see a problem with voicing your opinion. Just don't call me "unsophisticated" or "childish." I believe that God plays a role in my life. Could those events have occurred by chance? Sure. That's the way my best friend would see it. Of course she's wrong.

Giving yourself multiple shots on a daily basis (many intramuscular), having minor surgery (especially when you've had malpractice committed on you in the past), and not being permitted to exercise for long periods of time (okay to me that was like torture) can be devastating when the end results are negative. Not to mention having an estrogen level above 2000, that didn't help my mood any. That'll do it. Of course, I was devastated. I wasn't sticking myself for the thrill of it. But, I must admit, I am thankful that I didn't have his child(ren). All of my reactions were perfectly healthy and rational.

In all actuality, my family and friends are all very impressed by the manner in which I've handled everything. Although, most of them would like me to be a lot angrier than I have been. I'm focused on a brighter future. I hope the best for him.

 

[Vivi]

You sound like a very strong person. From how it sounds, I think you'll manage just fine.

 

[jsmatos]

Well, it looks like I'm officially divorced. The judge signed the order this morning. I'm feeling pretty sick, but I'm sure that's to be expected.

Anyhow, this should probably draw a close to this thread and all the whining that went with it. I will be closing on my condo either on Friday or next Wednesday (an end of month closing, you've gotta love that. ).

This chapter is closed. Thanks everyone for all of your thoughts, prayers, and support.

 

[Deadhead Archer]

This chapter is closed. Thanks everyone for all of your thoughts, prayers, and support.

And a new chapter begins. Good luck, Jennifer! :thumbup:

Many prayers sent your way!

 

[Ken C.]

At the request of the poster this thread is now closed.