Howdy!
Mike, since you're the BOSS (also known as HMFIC), I'll refrain from scolding you for posting non-knife stuff at this here forum.
As for me.... boy howdy, where do I start?
I was born in Philadelphia on July 21, 1960. Yes, you mathametical nuts, I am enjoying the last full month of not being in my 40's
::::sigh::::
Anyways, after living in Philly for 5 and a half months, I decided that it was time for me to pack my blankie and move on.
I wound up being adopted and taken to Yonkers, NY where I unsucessfully tried to start up a "Toys For Tots" program, with yours truly being the "tot"....
::::fast forward for the benefit of sane people:::::
.....and that led to 1984, which I sincerely hoped would bring the Orwellian prophecy of a guy in a mustache staring at me from TV Monitors all over the place.
Alas, this was not to be. Big Brother turned out to be a total sissy-la-la and never showed his face.
So I started up a print shop, got fairly successfull at it (no doubt due to my superior spellink) and sold the place in April of 1998. I was also a volunteer firefighter, president of the depatment for 4 years and a volunteer on the town's first aid squad for 4 years, 3 of which I was 2nd Lt.
I hear you ask, "Any interesting calls, Mr. Gerbil?"
First of all, please call me VG. We're all friends here... and yes, there's one call that sticks in my mind.
We had a call for an unconscious 19 year old female, and I responded from my home. I sauntered my way into the house and was directed to said patient's room.
Here I discovered a very attractive lady that was very naked. I asked the parents what they thought the problem was and they responded by telling me that she had experimented with drugs in the past, and this may be the cause of her condition .... the unresponsiveness, not the nakeditity....and to please stop drooling on the new carpet. She was basically sleeping, so I gently nudged her shoulders while saying her name.
Her beautiful blue eyes opened, locked onto mine... and then she punched me square in the mouth. Not to be deterred by just another punch in the mouth, I said to her, "There there, whateveryournameis. There's no need to hit me"...okay, maybe I started crying like a schoolgirl, but whatever it was, next thing I knew she'd wrapped her arms around me and started hugging me like I was some kinda huge teddy bear from hell.
The police arrive, seeing me (not your average looking kindas fella in the first place... see links below) being hugged by a beautiful naked woman.
One smartbutt said, "It figures"
I don't know what he meant by that.
Anyways, turned out she'd eaten some mushrooms that are never featured on The Food Network.
(Golly, how I do go off on a tangeant, don't I)
Back to me.
I wound up marrying the love of my life, whom I'd met on the computer. We were married 2 years to the day of first meeting online and in February, 99, I adopted her 2 daughters. Having no real good reason to stay in NJ (Yes, I wound up in NJ in 1968. I said that during the fast forward) so since my parents decided to move to Las Vegas, and my wife's family lives in California, I started searching for a town in Nevada which to move to.... into... at.
:ahem:
So I used the computer thingie to find a place in Nevada, since I wanted to live in a state that has easy gun laws, but didn't want to live in Las Vegas, where people live on top of one another.
I found the sleepy little town of Pahrump, Nevada, most known for the Chicken Ranch Brothel.
Unfortunately, while I'm able to possess the firearms that I'd legally purchased in NJ (but were outlawed by the Evil Overrlord, jim florio) I am not allowed to own automatic knives.
Note to anyone looking at the pictures of "My Room!!" at the Photoshop links... those auto knives in the display case are figments of my imagination and leftover dreams.
Now I plan on going back to school once my wife gets finished with her recovery from an upcoming surgery. The sale of my business is providing us with money for food, mortgage payments, clothing, and ammunition, as well as the occasional gun/knife/machinegun.
I've never met anyone from this forum, but would be happy to do so, if they aren't too weirded out by me.
Again, I refer to the Photopoint Albums.
"Golly, Mister Gerbil, please tell us your turnons!!"
Didn't I tell you to drop the "Mister Gerbil" thing?
Okay...
Turnons:
Basically anything that Chuckie Schumer, Stinkypants Feinstein and INeverHadSexWithThatWomanSeeHowMyLipsMoveWhenILie Billy wants to outlaw, is something that really floats my cork.
"But Mister.... I mean, VG, what are your REAL turnons?"
Ya know what, go back to calling me Mister Gerbil, ok?
"But you said...."
NEVER MIND WHAT I SAID!!
And my turnons are not appropriate for even THIS off-subject post.
(Not to mention the readers would think I was a bit odd)
So, in a nutcase... errr... nutshell, there's a little bit about me.
Anyone wanna come over and play?
Subitting this thread to that Biography show,
I remain,
VG
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Vampire Gerbil: Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus; similar to a domestic gerbil, except for the odd accent and little black cape.
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Odd Pictures at Photopoint
An assortment of pictures I decided to share with anyone that was so bored they wanted to check out my antics. I did this to prove that I am indeed sane. Be advised that there's hardly any nudity. Feel free to sign the Guestbook!!
Manifesto of Madness
I wrote most of that at work after drinking massive amounts of coffee. I needed to look busy and that dribbled out of my head. There's also a whole bunch of Optical Illusions.
The Deadly and Scary Leatherman Micra Website.
Be warned that the tactics used at that last site are not for the faint of heart!
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Any comments, suggestions, Presidential campaign contributions (cash only) or threats may be sent to:
vampiregerbil@aol.com
[This message has been edited by Vampire Gerbil (edited 05-30-2000).]