Mall Ninjas...

T

Th30

Joined
Aug 13, 2011
Messages
4
First off, this is my first post on BF, I have been creeping a bit though. I am 18yo and have always been interested in knives/medieval stuff.
This past Christmas I became interested in high quality knives, receiving a Spyderco Tenacious and Cold Steel Recon Scout. My collection has expanded a bit since
then and I am always trying to learn something new about knives each day! :)

Anyway, I heard some people from my class talking about knives, exited, I headed over in hopes of making some friends to discuss exotic blade steels and handle
materials. Much to my dismay what I heard sounded something a little more like this, " DUDE!! I just got this totally sick ninja sword for $15!! It's like 3 feet long!!!" some others started discussing the "20 bladed, punching dagger thingy," instantly I knew these people were... yep you guessed it.... mall ninjas. :grumpy:

I tried to talk to them about some different Spydercos, like my Sage 1 and Delica Wave... they were completely uninterested and continued to try and impress with
me stories of buying cheap switchblades like they were total badasses for owning a switchblade.

Something I must have said stuck with one of the kids because later he showed me this "high quality knife" he bought. He pulled it out and it was a...... Smith and
Wesson "tactical" spring assisted knife... I could hardly hold back my laughter. Being kind, I congratulated him on his new purchase.

I'm hoping on day these kids will learn and appreciate quality knives, but until them, I will continue to chuckle under my breath at them. Does anyone else have
stories similar to mine?
 
yep, a lot of my friends carry cheap $5 knives. even with me telling them and showing them my $150+ knives they think its stupid and they dont see the point. There are a few exceptions for me though. One of my friends has been carrying a microtech ultratech for years now and i have another who carries an old spyderco (cant remember exactly what model but it is discontinued).
 
if for no reason other than that i LOVE to spread this around, HERE is the story of the REAL mall ninja.

The thread posted at this link is the original event that CREATED the term "mall ninja"

it is long, but if you can make it through the whole thing, you will laugh for the rest of your life

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
 
To be honest, a $10 flea market Bowie knife made in China is good enough for the average mall ninja, and I would never try to dissuade him from owning it. Why? Because... when is a mall ninja ever going to need a real knife? :)
 
Most of us started off with cheap knives. People with cheap knives, or even mall ninjas are still better than sheeple who frown upon or even reject knives, and try to restrict them.
They may not be my favourite group either but I'll take them over sheeple anyday.
 
I read the whole story... Good lord that was rich. Possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen.
 
A good number of the guys on my block carry cheap dollar store knives and when they see me shave hair off my arm with that s30v they are always amazed, but refuse to spent money on a good knife. Ya know why 'cause the police will just take them whether you are a criminal or not.
 
BePrepared
Registered User
Join Date
Aug 2010
Posts
130
if for no reason other than that i LOVE to spread this around, HERE is the story of the REAL mall ninja.

The thread posted at this link is the original event that CREATED the term "mall ninja"

it is long, but if you can make it through the whole thing, you will laugh for the rest of your life

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
Click to expand...

OMFG thank you so much, this is awesome!
 
singularity35 said:
If a friend hadn't given me a Smith & Wesson, I wudda never got interested back in folding knives.
Click to expand...
Similar story here. If, so many years ago, I hadn't spent way too much on a S&W S.W.A.T. (and later a S.W.A.T. II) on eBay, I can't say for sure I would be here today. They make great 'gateway' knives, as they lead me to wonder what else... what better... was out there. Nothin' expressly wrong with either of them, but each gave me an appreciation for many of the aspects I look for in a good knife today.
 
philwar said:
Most of us started off with cheap knives. People with cheap knives, or even mall ninjas are still better than sheeple who frown upon or even reject knives, and try to restrict them.
They may not be my favourite group either but I'll take them over sheeple anyday.
Click to expand...

Well said.

I'll just add that I think most "knife nuts" (like myself) are born, not converted. I bought my first pocket knife at 6 or 7 years old ( a LONG time ago now) having been raised in a household where nobody would ever consider carrying such a thing (in THEIR parent's generation everyone did, and every generation before that; theirs was pretty much the first so protected that they could give up basic tools). Bought my first sheath knife before I was 8. My parents were appalled, and yeah, I got in trouble for knives more than once.

Still, I couldn't suppress a smile entirely when my mother complained that my (much) younger brother had adopted a (cheap, worn and dull) dive knife and wouldn't sleep without it.

Some people seem to have a deep, instinctive horror of anything pointy, and they mostly never seem to change. I'm guessing it dates from before we became tool-users, and should have been weeded out of the genome millions of years ago, but for some bizarre reason we seem to let that sort control legislation a lot. The "mall ninjas" may not have evolved to the state where they appreciate quality yet, but at least they have some potential.
 
Introduce them to the "Cold Steel Challenge" and they can see for themselves how their $5.00 knife stands up.
 
(@ The mall ninja story) Holy crap was that awesome, hard to choose but I think my favorite line was "BTW A one time experiementation while in the military, does not make one a homosexual"
 
I'm glad to see so many of you enjoying my story... that is seriously the funniest thing on the internet IMHO
 
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