Mall Ninjas...

BePrepared that thread shall be passed on for centuries alongside The Iliad, Gilgamesh, and Beowulf as one of the greatest epics in history. As for my own experiences with mall ninjas, it's been pretty limited to people who tell me they're looking for a knife and reject all the high quality pieces I show them within their price range and instead opt for ridiculous looking shit they inevitably break.
 
My question for the Mall Ninja story is where the bloody hell do those guys work? I am pretty sure there isn't a popular mall in the bad parts of Somalia, and there is no mall here in America that is that unbelievably hardcore. I also want to know where the other guy works as security, because I damn well know that there isn't a company that just hires people out of the blue (well, ok, after they fight off a group of terrorists attempting to steal a multi hundred dollar arcade game) and they have a need for RPG's in their security team. Gotta love delusional fools!
 
Sigh... People hardly ever surprise me, but they do dissappoint me.

We can only hope that:

1) Some of these fools eventually have a experience that shocks them back into the reality that the majority of the rest of us usually inhabit.
2) They survive that experience.

I just hope that Gecko and his friend never have to resort to using their knives to "eliminate" a high-value target! Not only is this a tactically risky endeavor, it might also cause more anti-knife prejudice!

Hey somebody might want to warn these two away from the state of New York. Or, at least, make sure their Blackhawks are running full emcon if they have to reach an "objective" inside the state line....

I wonder what the preferred knife of the Mall Ninja is? Do they go for Extrema Ratio, or do they prefer Microtech because it's American made?
 
I work retail lossprevention, I couldn't believe he actualy mentions shooting a Violent teenage shoplifter" in the knee from the second floor cuz they are easy to hit cuz they run in a straight line. I peed in my office chair a little.
 
edctac said:
I work retail lossprevention, I couldn't believe he actualy mentions shooting a Violent teenage shoplifter" in the knee from the second floor cuz they are easy to hit cuz they run in a straight line.
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I remember they used to do that in UT2004. Stupid bots. :mad:
 
honestly allot of people think their no name unknown steel mall or truck stop knives are great. cant be persuaded otherwise in my experience. one and only one friend of mine got the bug from me and ended up with 2 benchmades and a hankering for a fixed blade something or other, has to be a tanto. been sending him links here and there for some good ones. im afraid he will get some pos off ebay for ten bucks. gives me the willy`s. ive got 2 from my daughters bf that are gag puke....fantasy knives. yea he only paid a couple bucks at a yard sale but gag choke there mall ninja knives. so i took them and said the appropriate thanks and wow thats nice kinda stuff. now i havnt a clue what to do with them, neither even had a edge grind on them. i got to keep them at least a while ....
 
Shorttime said:
I just hope that Gecko and his friend never have to resort to using their knives to "eliminate" a high-value target! Not only is this a tactically risky endeavor, it might also cause more anti-knife prejudice!
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Don't worry, if those idiots ever *did* try using a knife in a high-stress situation the likely story headline would be "Moron puts knife through own foot, perpetrator runs away laughing manically"

Thanks to the repost of the mall ninja story. Always a good chuckle.
 
BePrepared said:
if for no reason other than that i LOVE to spread this around, HERE is the story of the REAL mall ninja.

The thread posted at this link is the original event that CREATED the term "mall ninja"

it is long, but if you can make it through the whole thing, you will laugh for the rest of your life

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
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You know it's funny that other than a mention of "5 knife wounds", none of that is really associated with knives. So I wonder how the two relate to each other when the original mall ninja displayed little interest in tactical knives.
 
are you asking how my reference to the "original mall ninja" relates to the OP which is titled "Mall Ninjas"?

I assume i must missed something, because that question is too silly to even contemplate.

Would you mind clarifying your statement? I'm sure it made more sense than i thought... i'm slow sometimes.
 
philwar said:
Most of us started off with cheap knives. People with cheap knives, or even mall ninjas are still better than sheeple who frown upon or even reject knives, and try to restrict them.
They may not be my favourite group either but I'll take them over sheeple anyday.
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+1 Yup.
 
BePrepared said:
are you asking how my reference to the "original mall ninja" relates to the OP which is titled "Mall Ninjas"?

I assume i must missed something, because that question is too silly to even contemplate.

Would you mind clarifying your statement? I'm sure it made more sense than i thought... i'm slow sometimes.
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No, I'm just wondering how mall ninjas in general are associated with overenthusiastic knife nuts with a cheap tactical knives fetish.
 
OIC... see, i DID miss that. I thought you were criticizing my posting the original mall ninja thread in this thread.

We can't limit Mall Ninjas to just gun crazed fan boys.... the sickness has spread to knife crazed fanboys as well

anyone who carries a "Highlander" stainless steel replica around and slashes bushes with it is clearly a Mall Ninja...
 
So, the general definition of Mall Ninja might be summed up as "one who equips himself without resort to common sense or good judgment"?

And just to clarify, common sense and good judgment can require different levels of equipment; there is a huge difference between a trip to the grocery store, a week in the woods, and a hostage rescue.
 
As a good general rule, you can identify a mall ninja by their carry of weaponry that is utterly unnecessary, often in public. It isnt just the quality. Its the lack of common sense demonstrated by the carry of way too much gear. Anyone who carries a sword, spear, or combat knife of any sort as a civilian, or otherwise wants to simulate a contractor, without actually needing it (think edwood7 for an example of need) is a mall ninja. Planning to get a practical sword for a sword fight? Mall ninja, or larper. Looking for a sword cane to carry? Mall ninja. They can look like a normal college student, and are frequently overweight. Thats their deadly secret...anyone could be one...
 
A man who believes that he needs M1A with a quad rail to which he attaches a million candle spotlight, "tactical" shotgun, grenade launcher, night vision scope, FVG, and bayonet to defend his home is a Mall Ninja...

A man who thinks a $25 stainless steel reproduction sword is a real usable weapon, and goes on to demonstrate the proper use of such a weapon by taking a running swing at a cardboard box while wearing JORTS, then posts the video of that demonstration on Youtube, and TexasHuntingForum.com while stating unequivocally that he can cut down a man who is armed with a gun before said man can unholster his weapon, so long as the JORT wearing gentleman is withing 21 feet of his firearm wielding foe... is a SUPER MALL NINJA (by the way, this actually happened... he went by Pekiti, and it was HILLARIOUS)
 
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