Marriages?

M

Morgane

Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
262
In the 'Questions' thread not2sparp said:

"Jobs come and go, wives come and go,"

I've thought about that a few times over the last day, and it's still a sobering thought. Whatever happens, I want to be married just once, and for life. I can't imagine what my existence would be like without Mrs. Z.

But she and I wonder: How many here do not expect to marry at all? How many have or think they will outlive their marriage? In your opinion, how long does a marriage usually last? My first new thread BTW.

Help me understand this, I'm a 39ish Pollyanna.
 
My wife and I have been together for 20 years. Lord willing, we'll make it to the big five-oh. My mom and dad made it to 53. My wife's parents almost made it to 35; cancer claimed her dad. It can be done!
 
My wife and I will be married a year next month. However, we have steadily been together for nearly 12 years. Between my own folks' divorce, deaths of loved ones, cancer scares with her father, and several years of long distance relationship, we have been through so much. As a matter of fact, the Rev. that wed us kind of chuckled and told us to go home when we went in for our pre-marriage meetings with him. He said that if anyone was ready to be married, it was us.

That said, I highly doubt that there is another person on this earth that could put up with me like my goodly wife. Always with grace and charm, she flows by my side. For all my shortcomings, she has found something totally enamoring about me to love me so very much. Likewise, I love her totally and fully...even if she is a bit of geek;)

I can't imagine a problem that my wife and I couldn't tackle together. We're a team. She does not serve her man, and I did not marry a fluffy-headed money monger. Equal. 50/50. Cooperation. It's not always perfect, it's not always fun, it's not always fair. However, there is not a person in this world or the next that could make me as totally happy as my much better half.

My wife and I are joined at the soul.

Jake
 
18 years and 5 kids later, we love each other more than ever!

Every year has been better than the others. She has been my best friend for more than 18 years.

We have had hard times, and sorrows. We communicate, and have much of God's grace. We have needed it.

We have known the "days of heaven upon the earth."

My wife was at a get together for home school moms the other nite. She told me that they went around the circle, answering those "get to know you' questions. When my wife answered the one about what she does to relax, she said " I spend time with my husband..."

:)

Tom
 
To succeed in marriage requires determination to succeed that would put a bulldog's grip on the mailman's leg to shame. And a Zen-like focus on the strength necessary for making it work.

The easy thing to do is give up and start over. (Of course, in some cases you have no choice.)

But this is what we all really want, to spend our lives with a person that reflects the goodness in life and makes things whole.

Sets of furniture and years of Christmas ornaments went with some that didn't work out. You don't want that. Dig in your heels, take a deep breath and make it work.

It's like a puzzle. If you're lucky, you'll have the rest of your life to work on solving it.

Nice thread, Morgane. :thumbup: Thanks for pulling up a seat and bringing something to the table in this Deluxe can of Cashews and Mixed Nuts called the Cantina.


Mike
 
My Mom and Dad have been hitched for 46 years, I think theirs is a "til death do you part" marriage. Myself, was married for 11 years to my first wife. It was not Y2K compatible. One year to my second. Not happening again. I am however very good friends with my first ex. I trust her enough to let her hold a General Power of Attorney. She lives about a block away from me, we have joint custody of my daughter.
 
I'm odd man out both my grandparents were married alt least twice, my mother 4 times, my dad 4 times,older brother 2 timews, me 0nce and divorced. Fun having lots of people in and out of your life. but I enjoyed all of them. The changes sure beat listening to fights. Al
 
Well it took me five tries to get a woman that I deeply care about and that deeply cares about me, along with the respect a married couple should have for each other as well as being best friends.
Going on with all the above we are faithful to one another which to me is one of the most important aspects of being married seeing as how three of the last four weren't.:grumpy:
Barbie and I have been together 18 years going on 20 and the years being married to my Barbie have been the happiest of my entire life.:thumbup: :D
Both of us have stated that the marriage we have is what the both of us always knew that marriage could be; but wasn't for either one of us until we got together. Barbie was married to her ex for 27 years I believe it was and she said she always had to sleep with one eye open because she never knew what kind of mood he was going to be in when he came home from his girlfriends.
It's kinda funny in that with all his kids have told him about me that he is scared of me and although we've been at some certain family gatherings we have never spoken and he avoids me like the plague.:D ;)
 
Heather and I met through a mutual friend. We had our first real conversation on New Years Eve. We talked all night long. After that we were inseperable buddies for a month. We hooked up at the beginning of February. I moved in two weeks later. Two months later we got a flyer for the Ren Faire. "Wouldn't it be fun to get married at the Ren Faire?" Yeah. "You wanna?" Yeah. We through the whole thing together in two months with no help and no money. That was a bit over eight years ago.

We have stuck together through alcohol and drug use (both of us). Flashbacks from when she was molested and raped. Suicide attemps. Depression (both). Back surgeries. Hospitalizations. A couple of threesomes and foursomes (both). A BK (both). Losing pets. Moving back home, twice.

And I'd do it all over again. She's still my best friend. I don't know if I'm too stubborn or too stupid to give up but I think we're in it for the long haul.

Frank
 
Thank you all. It would be impolite of me to respond to each of your posts, but each one said something new and relevant. In all, I'm glad that the spiritual and sacred long-term bonds between people have so far not been commodified by our society. All of you are willing to stick with it, even when the going is rough.

Other things:

If death cuts short a marriage, does the bond end? Mrs Z and I think not. My great grandmother stayed faithful to her husband for decades after he died. She'd been through this before when her first husband was killed in WW1.

"She does not serve her man, and I did not marry a fluffy-headed money monger."

Some of the husband-hunting women I've met would shame a crackwhore. I hear their masterplans all the time, and the lack of integrity is hard to believe.

"she said " I spend time with my husband"

I live in the big city. Everyone only wants to hear about all the 'cool' stuff one does, I'm ashamed to say that I only admit to liking to spend time with Mrs Z with close friends. That's going to change.

"I am however very good friends with my first ex. I trust her enough to let her hold a General Power of Attorney. She lives about a block away from me, we have joint custody of my daughter."

Thank you for not shattering your family and making your daughter navigate the sharp bits. I know what that's like in the worst way.

Rape flashbacks suck. Since 1/3 of all women have been sexually assaulted, the more women you get in the picture the greater the odds someone has been messed with. How you handle it is important, but all you can really do is be with them and wait.

On a happier note, I hadn't thought of group sex as a relationship test : )
 
Married 14, together 19...
...2 beautiful little girls and lots of animals...
No end in sight.
DanR
 
Well into my ninth year. Been rough, depression (both), sicknesses (me-pnuemonia with complications, her-breast cancer), money trouble, sexual issues. Having a rough time currently so it is good to hear all this from all of you. I am not ready to hang it up.
 
1st marriage: 1 day. 2nd marriage: 19 years. 3rd marriage: a work in progress. I've seen other people do it (the long-term marriage) so it must be possible, but not realistically for most mortals!

God bless those that can do it and honestly say they are still happy.
 
My wife and I have been married for 25 years. As for the "til' death do we part", we joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and were married in the Temple for time and eternity.There is a way for families to continue forever. Debbie is my soulmate. I know we knew each other before we came to this mortal life and then found each other. I like to think we may have even made a promise to each other to do so before we came here.
Terry
 
Going on 6 years. Still going strong. The longer I'm with my wife the more terrible the thought of ever losing her becomes. I modify my behaviour to minimize the likelihood of that ever happening.

Without my wife I would be a mess.
 
I've never been married. I've never considered proposing. I have my doubts that I'll ever marry.

But, I'm no longer against the idea like I used to be. Were I to meet the right girl, I'd consider settling down. I'm still not entirely comfortable with the concept but I suppose that I could get used to it. I find myself wanting a degree of stability in my personal life. Perhaps it's my body's way of telling me to grow up. (That, and the joint pains.)

Ultimately it's not currently an issue. Between 60+ hours of work per week and an hour's commute either way, I simply don't have the time. Maybe that's what it really boils down to. Or am I just making new excuses? :o
 
Next month we will celebrate our 16th anniversary. She's put up with my sorry a-- this long - there's no way I'd consider trading her in now. (Chances of my finding someone else who could stand to be around me that long are slim to none.) :)

Eric
 
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