I hope I win, I dont even have one sak. Im going to submit a few more jokes.
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: The driver just insulted me!
The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.
A doctor says to his patient, I have bad news and worse news.
Oh dear, what's the bad news? asks the patient.
The doctor replies, You only have 24 hours to live.
That's terrible, said the patient. How can the news possibly be worse?
The doctor replies, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.
But, the dog replied, that would make no sense at all.
TOP TEN REASONS COMPUTERS
MUST BE FEMALE
1. They just sit there blinking dumbly at you.
2. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed
to memory for future reference.
4. They frustrate the hell out of you when you give a command and
they don't, won't, or can't follow it.
5. Sometimes, try as you might, you can't turn them on
particularly if you already have a floppy in.
6 If you floppy disk has a virus, you can be $@#$@#$@#$@# sure your
computer will get it.
7. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
8. A better model is just around the corner.
9.The best part of having one is the games you can play.
10. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on
A duck waddles into a bar and hops on a stool. The bartender, irritated, says, "What'll you have?"
The duck says, "Got any pickles?"
The bartender spits and says "We don't have pickles here, We serve drinks. Now get out!"
The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.
The next day, the same duck waddles into the same bar, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any pickles?"
The bartender, irritated, says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve pickles here, we serve drinks, now GET OUT!"
The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.
The next days the same duck waddles into the same bar and hops on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks: "Got any pickles?"
The bartender, infuriated, POUNDS his fist on the bar and yells at the duck. "I told you two times we don't serve pickles here, we serve drinks! If you ask me ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar! NOW GET OUT!"
With that the duck shrugged, hopped off the stool, and waddled out.
The next day, the same duck waddled into the same bar, hopped on a stool, looked the bartender in the eye and asked: "Got any nails?"
The bartender, puzzled, said "No."
The duck then looked him square in the eye and said, "Got any pickles?"
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: The driver just insulted me!
The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.
A doctor says to his patient, I have bad news and worse news.
Oh dear, what's the bad news? asks the patient.
The doctor replies, You only have 24 hours to live.
That's terrible, said the patient. How can the news possibly be worse?
The doctor replies, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.
But, the dog replied, that would make no sense at all.
TOP TEN REASONS COMPUTERS
MUST BE FEMALE
1. They just sit there blinking dumbly at you.
2. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed
to memory for future reference.
4. They frustrate the hell out of you when you give a command and
they don't, won't, or can't follow it.
5. Sometimes, try as you might, you can't turn them on
particularly if you already have a floppy in.
6 If you floppy disk has a virus, you can be $@#$@#$@#$@# sure your
computer will get it.
7. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
8. A better model is just around the corner.
9.The best part of having one is the games you can play.
10. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on
A duck waddles into a bar and hops on a stool. The bartender, irritated, says, "What'll you have?"
The duck says, "Got any pickles?"
The bartender spits and says "We don't have pickles here, We serve drinks. Now get out!"
The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.
The next day, the same duck waddles into the same bar, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any pickles?"
The bartender, irritated, says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve pickles here, we serve drinks, now GET OUT!"
The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.
The next days the same duck waddles into the same bar and hops on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks: "Got any pickles?"
The bartender, infuriated, POUNDS his fist on the bar and yells at the duck. "I told you two times we don't serve pickles here, we serve drinks! If you ask me ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar! NOW GET OUT!"
With that the duck shrugged, hopped off the stool, and waddled out.
The next day, the same duck waddled into the same bar, hopped on a stool, looked the bartender in the eye and asked: "Got any nails?"
The bartender, puzzled, said "No."
The duck then looked him square in the eye and said, "Got any pickles?"
.
. Time to focus on the apps now, but I might keep studying just in case I'm not satisfied with the score.
. Are you through all steps?
