Non-Knife People and Their Knives are Driving Me Nuts!!!

Attila · Oct 18, 1999

Speaking of the types of junk that uninitiated & mostly clueless ppl carry & the condition that it's in:

Any of you guys remember that crap that was put out by a company called Tekna? Remember that "credit card" type blade that you pushed the notch & out slid a fat piece of junky steel? I saw a guy years ago pull one of those from his back pocket & when he started to get the blade out, the thing practically evaporated & out fell this junky piece of pitted & rusty steel to the pavement. I found that to be HIGHLY amusing!

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Attila

Lucky Dog · Oct 18, 1999

I hear you James; I can hurt someone with a coffee cup, a chair, a pencil, a newspaper, my hands, or just about any static object. I'm a friendly outgoing sort, why when I have one of my favorite tools in my hands, do I turn into Jack the Ripper in these people's eyes? I think they just get a warm fuzzy by thinking they're on the side of the peaceful correct as dictated by popular culture. They let others do their thinking for them, because it's just easier. But they always seem to want your help when it comes time to cut something or sharpen their crummy blades.

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LD
"Every Dog Has His Day"
BFC Member Since October 2, 1998

Scarman · Oct 18, 1999

I am feeling your pain, all of you.
You would think of all places knives would be accepted the Army would be tops....nope.
Pulled out my Military to cut some balloons down(I swear it was purely reflex) and after the color returned to this senior NCO's face, I was scolded for 15 minutes on the dangers of carrying a lethal weapon and not to mention the trouble I could get in for carrying an illegal weapon on my person.
Women, but I have actually heard it from both sexes. My coworkers think I am psychotic because I like to use different knife/sword pics as wall paper on my computer.
It is a sad pathetic world we must live in.

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The greatest thought that has ever entered my mind is that one day I will have to stand before a Holy God and give an account of my life.
*Daniel Webster

Rev 20:12

TANGUS · Oct 18, 1999

Ah yes, the world has changed since I was a wee pup and my grandfather gave me a barlow around 6 years old. After a few stitches later in the knuckles, I learned what you can and can't do. Appears with today's modern technology (including the ability to type this onto a forum), we have advanced in technology, but have forgotten to bring along common sense with it all. In my opinion, most of the sheep today wish to be sheltered from anything that appears harsh. My guess is, let'em buy 40 knives off the HSN. They're educated, they deserve to find out for themselves. Personally, I don't tell them how much it cost. I tried to talk to them but it didn't work. I gave them the blade forums web page. They can read for themselves!

copfish · Oct 18, 1999

As a Police Officer, I don't get much reaction when I pull out a knife, be it my large Sebenza, Military, Blue Native or SAK. But my wife who carries two knives (Spyderco Cricket or Delica in pink and a Firefly her key chain knife) often get funny looks when she cuts something. Too bad the sheeple don't look into her purse, she has a Beretta tucked away...

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"A conclusion is where you stopped thinking..."

Johan · Oct 18, 1999

I've read all the posts here and I have to say I agree sooooo much. I've got knives from inexpensive Spydercos to Microtechs and I always get the same response: "Gosh that's a big knife!" or "You paid how much for that?"
Most of these people I ignore, occasionally I can't help but shut them up (Like the time a buddy of mine was repairing a pump and left his cutters at home, he needed to cut off the old cable and said nothing but bolt cutters could go through it. My Military ate it like string.).
But Lucky Dog is right, the worst thing is people who have knives and just don't know how to treat them. I'm a real picky person when it comes to this. I'm a cabinet-maker and I have dozens and dozens and dozens of blades in my shop. All of them sharpened to a mirror finish (8000 grit) and that's the only way they should be. I don't expect everyone to be like me, but it really burns me when people don't look after their own stuff, especially when it's not that hard to do.
As for people going "Wow! That's a scary knife! You must be dangerous", I have more deadly things in my shop-like a bandsaw with a 15'x2" blade that will go through anything-but no one ever mentions that?
It's all about perception. If you perceive it as dangerous, it is dangerous.

jsweet · Oct 18, 1999

Here's the best one I've ever heard.
I offered a friend my knife (Gerber
Magnum Jr.) to open a package and
an observer remarked "I've heard that men
with small penises carry big knives to
compensate." It was a joke and I tried to
take it in good humour, but I was still
a little stunned.

Lizabelle · Oct 18, 1999

jsweet...so what does that mean for females who carry knives? haha

Ebbtide · Oct 18, 1999

Driving down the pky. when the AC compresser siezes on my bro-in-laws car. "Cut the belt off" I say. He sez "Good idea! Gimme your knife." I tell him "You've got your own knife" And he sez to me "Yeah, but yours is sharp"

TheBeak · Oct 18, 1999

my favoriite has been mentioned:
the cringe reaction when a blade is offered to a clearly needy person struggling with a package/bagel/whatever.

why do thay so often handel it like it has "cooties" when it is so clearly the perfect thing for the task at hand.

something needs cutting? out comes a knife. why be so supprised?

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'Till next time,
Rich the kite guy

"if it's not real, it's no good deal"

pepsiholic · Oct 22, 1999

Copfish, I know we are all annonemous and everything, and I think it's fine that your wife carries a handgun in her purse, but isn't it better to keep that a little secret? CCW or not, it would suck to have someone spot it and raise hell.
Just some food for thought!

JoHnYKwSt · Oct 22, 1999

During the summer, while I was working for my Mom, there was a box that needed to be opened. I reached into my pocket to pull out my delica and opened it with one hand. I opened it rather quickly without even thinking. One of my Mom's co-workers then said, `"Wow, scary." I was surprised and so was my Mom (she was used to my knives). I guess it was probably the tactical black and the delica's blade shape. I wonder if I would have pulled out my small sebenza, if I would have gotten the same response.

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Johnny
[]xxxxxxx]=============>

Lucky Dog · Oct 22, 1999

Here in Sheepel New Jersey every thing except a SAK gets that response. My Sebenza scares the hell out of these people.

They've even asked me if it's a "switchblade" because I can open it with one hand, they think the thumb stud is an automatic's button.

This happens all the time!!!

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LD
"Every Dog Has His Day"
BFC Member Since October 2, 1998

[This message has been edited by Lucky Dog (edited 22 October 1999).]

the4th · Oct 23, 1999

I like the "Remind me to stay on your good side." comment. I tell them, "You are on my good side, I can reach you with my knife from where you are."

Other useful wisecracks:

Sheeple: Wow, there's no need to have a weapon here.

Me: It's not a weapon, it's a tool.

Sheeple: What's the difference?

Me: If you use it to open THE MAIL, it's a tool. If you use it to open A MALE, it's a weapon.
---------------------------------------------

At metal detectors and weapons check points:

Me: You want ALL my weapons?

Them (While stepping back): Anything that can be used as a weapon, sir.

Me: Unlacing my boots, and pulling off my belt, tie, handing them my ink pens, pencils, etc.

Them: Hey, wisea**, that's not what we meant.

Me: So, some weapons are ok to carry? COOL!
---------------------------------------------

Sheeple: Carrying that big knife to compensate for a small penis?

Me: This?!? This was the smallest knife they sold.

OR

Me: Are you being a big penis to compensate?

Scarman · Oct 23, 1999

The 4th,

I like the crack about the metal detector.
I will have to try that someday.

TheBeak,

I got the cringe reaction the other day when I whipped out my BM330 to cur some boxes open. I mean come on, this thing scary, sheesh.

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The greatest thought that has ever entered my mind is that one day I will have to stand before a Holy God and give an account of my life.
*Daniel Webster

Rev 20:12

Rugger · Oct 22, 1999

Made the mistake of using my Wegner to open the bulletproof plastic on a box of mints on the way to a client meeting- 2 of my bosses proceed to pour on the sheeple hassles & all I wanted to do was open the @#$%&* mints. Just this week, we were having trouble w/ a client & the VP/GM says as he passes my desk: "Let's just send Mike over there with some of his knives..." At my last job, I was opening a package containing a bowie I had gotten off of E-Bay (with glee & enthusiasm) just as the Sr. Boss-in-charge-of-everything was standing behind my chair. The bowie comes out w/ a flourish & the guy aged 20 years before my very eyes. I also scared a French rugby team by pulling a Woo from under my shirt to cut some pizzas at a post-match party. Very Popular for the remainder of the afternoon.

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Runs With Scissors
AKTI# A000107

silverwing · Oct 22, 1999

my favourite sheeple reaction: "wow...what are you, some kind of gang member?"

hehe. if only y'all could see what i look like, you'd be rolling on the floor with that one.

blade in question was my leopard cub, btw. oh yeah, reeeeeeeaaaalll scary.

last christmas my dad proudly pulled out his pocketknife, thinking finally he could impress me. he'd bought it at the mall somewhere. fake stag scales, puny thin little blade, and no edge whatsoever. poor guy destroyed wrapping paper with it, since the thing wouldn't actually cut anything, just pushed thru the paper and tore it. i got out MY knife (think it was also my leopard cub that time) and sliced things so neatly that my mom gathered up the wrappings to save them for next year.

of course, when i offered to get her a knife of her own, she did the cringe reaction and claimed that she had to have dull knives or else she would cut herself. my attempts to point out that dull blades are more dangerous fell on deaf ears. after all, mothers know best, right?? "especially about knives, dear--why, i use kitchen knives every day, more than you use that silly thing in your pocket."

reminds me of the time she said she liked good whiskey so i bought her some really good single malt. she took one sip, spat it out, and reached for her johnny walker.

pearls before barnyard denizens...

silverwing

Ghecko · Oct 22, 1999

OK folks, I've got you all beat. There's a guy that sits in the cube next to me at work. We've got some stuff in common so I finally deemed him ready to inspect my small sebenza. He thought it was pretty cool and mentioned that he used to have a pocket knife a long time ago. No big deal, right?

So, same guy one month later... I pull out a CRKT P.E.C.K. folder. You know, the little toy-like thing that's got a 1.5" blade. He looks it over and I'm thinking to myself "no way this thing is aggressive." Finally he asks me "what's it go for on the street." "Uhh, $20 or so, It was a freebee in a trade." Finally he squints a bit and says, "Is this thing legal?"

Just goes to show you can't predict what they'll think... Small Sebenza is OK, P.E.C.K. folder is illegal...

Jon

James Y · Oct 23, 1999

Once while a friend and me were comparing our Benchmade knives at a picnic, a lady asked why we carry knives. I pointed out, for example, a knife could be used to cut free of a jammed seatbelt after an accident. She stated that she'd rather use her hands to claw free than carry a knife.

Another time a person I knew was trying to open a package with her teeth (and not doing a good job, either). I kindly offered to let her use my little Case stockman's sheepsfoot blade to open it. She very coldly replied, "No, I don't need your weapon." She then proceeded to continue using the "civilized" method: trying to bite it with her teeth (she gave up and used a ball-point pen).

I already realize my little Delica is a feared, "switchblade-like" weapon in the eyes of most people, so I no longer give a damn what they think.
Jim

RGRAY · Oct 23, 1999

I hate that non knife people have to tough the mirror polished blade that I have never touched.

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RICK LEFTIES UNITE