You can tell if a BF members’ story is sincere.
“So I’m selling this $10,000 box of knives for $50 because I’ve got a bad addiction, a real monkey on my back. It’s not drugs, not gambling, not alcohol abuse, far more insidious than those. It’s compulsive knife buying.
I wasn’t always like you see me now. I had a good job, nice home, pretty wife. Things started downhill when I spent my car payment money on knives - I was gonna flip them for a profit when everybody got their stimulus checks. I didn’t expect them to responsibly invest all that free money in groceries and fuel and heating oil in the winter.
When my car got repossessed, I still had money for bus fare, but I spent it on knives figuring the big knife shortage was just around the corner, and started walking to work. But I had bought cheap shoes, to buy more knives, and when they wore out, I had spent all my shoe money on more knives.
My lovely wife never said a harsh word to me about our house getting foreclosed after I spent the mortgage payments on knives, although she did wonder aloud where I would receive future knife deliveries. I already had that figured out, I’d have them shipped USPS to “General Delivery” at the nearest post office that doesn’t require shoes for entry. Naw, she left me after I snuck her wedding ring from the jewelry box and pawned it for knife money.
You see my clothes are kinda dirty and shabby, laundry money was better added to the knife budget. Skinny, you say? Man, I used to weigh 290. I spent the grocery money on knives too, justified it as a weight loss program I could really stick to.
So here I am sitting on this curb with a tin cup, and so far the passersby have been less sympathetic than I hoped. Got 4.79 in change, including a dime I found on the park bench where I slept last night.
What, Knife-oholics Anonymous? Naw man, that’s the bottom of the barrel. I can still quit any time I want.
No deal on the knives, huh? That’s okay, no hard feelings. But hey, how’d ya like to buy this tin cup? Been watching this original Bowie on eBay, BuyitNow with free shipping. Only 89 cents more and it’ll be all mine!
Tin cup, tin cup for 89 cents! Looks and runs like new! Come on mister, this baby holds a full 8 ounces…”
Parker