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Smoke needed
- Thread starter DannyinJapan
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 23, 1999
- Messages
- 4,855
~~~Smoke~~~
This is a survival test much more serious than anything you encountered in the dojo.
I've been where you are. There's more beyond, where death is not distressing, but seductive. That becomes immensely dangerous. If you come out the other side you will never look at death the same way again.
Right now your physiological responses may not be serving you well. Food may be cardboard, sleep nonexistent or small, dreams gone, heart beating hard constantly. You can lose a pound a day in that state without trying. Your body can also burn up and your brain and perceptions can be damaged from staying too long in such a state. Brain changes from short stays may be reversible, from longer stays maybe not.
I don't know your sensei, but he may be able to help you here. Your first task is survival and regaining balance. You can't help anyone, even your wife and child, if you don't help yourself.
If you are a rock, the waves will break against you. Emotions of the world, fears of a wife, laws of a nation, pride and shame, will all come and go. If and when things change for your wife and child, let there be Danny, steady and calm, to return to for security.
This is a survival test much more serious than anything you encountered in the dojo.
I've been where you are. There's more beyond, where death is not distressing, but seductive. That becomes immensely dangerous. If you come out the other side you will never look at death the same way again.
Right now your physiological responses may not be serving you well. Food may be cardboard, sleep nonexistent or small, dreams gone, heart beating hard constantly. You can lose a pound a day in that state without trying. Your body can also burn up and your brain and perceptions can be damaged from staying too long in such a state. Brain changes from short stays may be reversible, from longer stays maybe not.
I don't know your sensei, but he may be able to help you here. Your first task is survival and regaining balance. You can't help anyone, even your wife and child, if you don't help yourself.
If you are a rock, the waves will break against you. Emotions of the world, fears of a wife, laws of a nation, pride and shame, will all come and go. If and when things change for your wife and child, let there be Danny, steady and calm, to return to for security.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Messages
- 5,594
She is adamant that she wont come back.
They dont want me to see my baby, they want to change my baby's name to some japanese name, they want me to just leave japan and forget her.
They dont want me to see my baby, they want to change my baby's name to some japanese name, they want me to just leave japan and forget her.
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2005
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- 19,691
It kills me to read about this Danny. I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you brother. Is there nothing the govt is willing to do for you? This is the worst situation I can imagine. I'm thinking of you all the time. My wife sends her best.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Messages
- 5,594
There are no rights for non-japanese fathers in japan.
japan is a pre-modern country.
you dont want to know how deep and dark this place really is.
japan is a pre-modern country.
you dont want to know how deep and dark this place really is.
Hang in there Danny. It is kind of coincidental this occuring with your decision to move back home. Contact the US consulate there in Japan and see if they can give you any advice. I am sure they have dealt with this on more than one occasion. Prayers still coming your way.
Terry
Terry
I came across this site, which appears to have some useful information and links to other resources:
http://www.crnjapan.com/en/
More prayers sent from SC.
Eric
http://www.crnjapan.com/en/
More prayers sent from SC.
Eric
tyr_shadowblade
Gold Member
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- Jan 3, 2006
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- 12,678
And you have no idea what set her off? Hormone levels associated with post-partum (as well as menopause) occasional cause a psychotic reaction. I suggest you contact the U.S. Embassy and see if anything can be done, as she is your lawful wife and your child may be endangered. You need some sort of official help that is on your side.
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- Apr 6, 2001
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- 2,632
Prayers....
- Joined
- Aug 19, 1999
- Messages
- 1,955
Danny, what Howard said...:thumbup:
I have been in the same emotional place where you are. There are no words sufficient to describe it.
Put one foot in front of the other...
I think some of us are having a hard time understanding Japanese bigotry and xenophobia. Oh, my, I have been politically incorrect.
--Mike L.
I have been in the same emotional place where you are. There are no words sufficient to describe it.
Put one foot in front of the other...
I think some of us are having a hard time understanding Japanese bigotry and xenophobia. Oh, my, I have been politically incorrect.
--Mike L.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2003
- Messages
- 1,601
Danny,
I'm so sorry that I didn't see this earlier. Please remember that we all love you and want nothing more than your happiness. My wife needed some emotional re balancing after the birth of our daughter, and I sincerely hope that you can find a way to work things out with your family there in Japan.
Smoke is up in Louisville!
I'm so sorry that I didn't see this earlier. Please remember that we all love you and want nothing more than your happiness. My wife needed some emotional re balancing after the birth of our daughter, and I sincerely hope that you can find a way to work things out with your family there in Japan.
Smoke is up in Louisville!
- Joined
- Jun 9, 1999
- Messages
- 4,729
I'm sorry Danny. Howard has the right idea, keep yourself sane and healthy so you can deal with this. Don't give up and don't panic. We're here for you.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2002
- Messages
- 2,845
I'm only vaguely familiar with Japan, but I'm sure the challenges you face - social, legal, and personal - are very daunting. However, you know you're doing the best for your family. Stick with it, and don't despair.
More smoke.
More smoke.
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1998
- Messages
- 4,331
Howard knows what he's talking about.
Shikin Haramitsu Daikomyo. Yes, even in this, as badly as I know it hurts.
You will never be the same. Nothing will ever hurt you this much again. You will
be stronger and happier than you were before this, eventually.
But you have to make it, to reach that point. Please don't give up. It will get better.
Love,
John
Shikin Haramitsu Daikomyo. Yes, even in this, as badly as I know it hurts.
You will never be the same. Nothing will ever hurt you this much again. You will
be stronger and happier than you were before this, eventually.
But you have to make it, to reach that point. Please don't give up. It will get better.
Love,
John
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2003
- Messages
- 1,390
I agree with what's been said up to now, especially on being calm and collected if you do meet with your wife and/or her family. Being that you're going through a difficult time, do all that you can do for your own well being and health. Stay away from ETOH, negative friends and influences, etc. Work out a lot, pray/meditate, go jogging, and anything else that will keep your stress levels and anxiety at bay.
Get as informed as possible as to the situation. Here's a good link that I found that can help in this respect:
http://www.crnjapan.com/japan_law/en/
Hang in there, Danny... It WILL get better!
Get as informed as possible as to the situation. Here's a good link that I found that can help in this respect:
http://www.crnjapan.com/japan_law/en/
Hang in there, Danny... It WILL get better!