Stupid people can do stupid things.

Us people WITH knives, enable the stupid people WITH OUT knives, by letting them use them. LOL :D


Here is a funny one. I hear the classic "hey, you got a knife ?" I said yup & handed him my little 1 7/8" blade Camillus & said "be careful it's sharp". So, this moron proceeds to laugh & say "this little thing?" He opens it up, takes his thumb & slides it lengthwise down the edge of the blade !!! Uses it. Gives it back. Then while he is standing there, i watch his thumb start to drip blood. I didn't say anything. It took a min or two before he realized it. Then he started bitching at me. I laughed & said "you mean this little thing ?" :D
 
A long time mate of mine used my favourite kitchen knife to open a milo tin and bent the tip..

I am still considering castrating him... :)
 
These are pretty good stories and I've loved reading them.

My wife and I were in a car in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I had one of those small (teeny) Super Edge serrated knives made by Cold Steel. It's a fixed blade thing that looks like a toy and has a sheath. I put my left hand on the wrong place of the sheath and pulled the knife out fast. The serrated 420 blade ripped through my thumb and, far from being cut by a plain edged knife, it hurt in real time. A lot! Blood was everywhere, but, grabbing a tissue, I quickly put it around the wound and applied pressure.

Please, guys, don't ever cut yourself with a serrated blade! It ain't worth the pain and it took a long time to heal. I really came away from that experience appreciating what a serrated blade can do. And when I carry my Cold Steel 6-inch serrated Vaquero Grande, I remember that cut and can only imagine what serrated blades used for defense can do. I've been cut with a plain edged knife on a number of occasions, and in most cases I didn't even feel the cut until afterwards. But after the above mishap, I don't want to be cut with such a blade again!
 
Jack Black said:
Only read the end of this thread, but don't think I want to read anymore! What the hell is wrong with you guys??!! :eek:
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They're young, like knives, but havent acquired respect for them yet. Sometimes it takes some real trauma to make a person careful.
 
Last winter my son brought back the Spydie Military that I had gifted him and told me that it was a piece of crap that broke too easy. The blade was all rolled and chipped, and snapped off about an inch from the handle. I asked him WTF did he DO to it, and he told me that his garage door at work was frozen shut. So he used the knife to chip away the ice from around the concrete and then tried to pry the door up with the blade.

All I could think of was a line from the first Smokey and The Bandit movie:

"Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch your mamma in the mouth! There's no way, that you came from my loins."
 
Some of you are far too patient. I have had friends and some family show the utmost disrespect to me and mine at one time or another, and NONE have ever shown it again (albeit if they were even kept as friends at all).
That being said, I have been known to show some incredible unadulterated stupidity on my part, and though I can somewhat blame it on youth, I've found that I cannot hide behind that the older I get.
As a kid, my cousin and I was playing with one of those old dartboards with the plastic molded darts that came with it. We were at my grandmother's house, and she has vaulted ceilings.. about 12 feet up, at a 45 degree angle. Well, I had an old pocketknife spearpoint blade (sans pocketknife) about 4 inches long, which I had tied a 7 inch piece of twine to.. because when you threw it, it would eventually fly pretty straight and stick into things.
I was throwing that at the dart board, along with the darts.. and my cousin was doing the same.
Eventually, we got bored.. and silly.. so we started to throw them all across the room.. into walls.. the doors.. etc.
My cousin threw a dart above his head.. and it stuck to the ceiling.
So.. of course.. (kid logic) we threw a dart.. and the blade up toward it to knock it down. Didn't work. They all stuck next to each other. And we had a pretty good grouping too! Pretty good MOA lol..
Anyways.. we each grab a handful of darts.. (about 7 or 8 each) and chuck them all upward.
They all stuck. And whenever the draft blew a bit.. they would shake a bit. But they didn't come down.
We stared at them.. and slowly removed ourselves from the gravitational path. three darts, in the course of 2 minutes eventually dropped.. and almost found their way onto us.. but we were lucky.
Now what to do? We didn't wanna rat ourselves out.. but we also didn't want anyone else to come in, and get carpet bombed by a bunch of darts.
We must have remained vigilant for three days, seeing someone walk in.. and then walk out.. here we were breathing huge sighs of relief.
Eventually, we relaxed.. and then got bored.. and then got into trouble lighting matches in the same room. We never found out who realized the darts were teetering up above, or how they got them down.

Boy, did that blade with the twine tail fly straight.
 
hokutomaster said:
Something about alcohol... and knives... and not mixing so well together...?
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You don't say ;). The finger tip is gone, the index finger is nicked really good and the thumb got its share.

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~Paul~
 
This one still kinda hurts when I talk about it but here it goes.

About a month ago I bought a SOG Vulcan 01 with the drop point. I was pretty excited about it since it was the first SOG folding knife that I really enjoyed. Anyway, I went to a picnic with my church group and was recruited to cook the hamburgers and hotdogs. While I was cooking one of the guys asked me if he could borrow my knife. I said sure since I was still excited about showing my new blade off to people. I went back to cooking for a bit and noticed that I was hearing some banging in the background. When I turned around I immediatly cringed because the guy was holding my knife with the point in the top of a chilli can and hammering the blade into the top to open teh can. What upset me even more was the fact that one closer inspection he had already opened one that way and was working on the second while there was a girl sitting not 3 feet away using a can opener! Needless to say I grabbed my knife quickly but didn't let my anger out since there were children running around. Luckily the edge just rolled and I was able to straighten it back out with no real noticeable damage. I will not be allowing anyone to use my knives again though unless I know that they are knife guys too.
 
erhodes said:
I will not be allowing anyone to use my knives again though unless I know that they are knife guys too.
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It's already been said in this thread but, if they were real knife guys they're have their own knives. Anytime someone asks me to borrow my knife I ask them, in a mildly annoyed tone because I know they have one but they just don't carry it, where their knife is.
 
erhodes said:
This one still kinda hurts when I talk about it but here it goes.

About a month ago I bought a SOG Vulcan 01 with the drop point. I was pretty excited about it since it was the first SOG folding knife that I really enjoyed. Anyway, I went to a picnic with my church group and was recruited to cook the hamburgers and hotdogs. While I was cooking one of the guys asked me if he could borrow my knife. I said sure since I was still excited about showing my new blade off to people. I went back to cooking for a bit and noticed that I was hearing some banging in the background. When I turned around I immediatly cringed because the guy was holding my knife with the point in the top of a chilli can and hammering the blade into the top to open teh can. What upset me even more was the fact that one closer inspection he had already opened one that way and was working on the second while there was a girl sitting not 3 feet away using a can opener! Needless to say I grabbed my knife quickly but didn't let my anger out since there were children running around. Luckily the edge just rolled and I was able to straighten it back out with no real noticeable damage. I will not be allowing anyone to use my knives again though unless I know that they are knife guys too.
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Should have gotten the tanto point. It would have survived that ;)
 
I actually went out and bought the tanto point a week after that. :o I gave my dad the drop point and carry then new one now myself
 
Girl at work comes in yesterday with her hand completely bandaged up. I say Heather what happened did you break your wrist!? Thats how heavily bandaged she was. Come to find she had a new cheapie $40 knife block from Walmart. She tossed one of the serrated blades into a soapy sink with dirty dishes and was rummaging around in it. Six stitches and ill take a guess that a $700 e. r. Is on the way. She got the lecture about proper kitchen knife care from me. You hand rinse/wash separately followed by immediate drying and putting away or aside. I stopped short of voicing my opinion on serrated blades let alone a dirt cheap knife block set from wally mart. Poor girl. I cringed when she described chunks of flesh coming out of the ragged laceration.
 
I have a stupid story of something I did to myself. I went to the door one morning a few months ago to grab my new SAK Fieldmaster from UPS. Sat down on the couch and used my Kershaw Skyline to open the box, and left the Skyline open on the table in front of me. I opened up the Fieldmaster and started to test it out on the cardboard. I had a few hours to spare so I put on a movie, I believe it was Bunraku. When I was reaching for the remote, I knocked the still open Skyline off the table and it stuck into the ground, not my foot, not even close. I looked at it and thought "oh it stuck in perfectly that doesn't happen every day, cool. blah blah" then continued to watch the movie, leaving the knife stuck in the ground to my left...

The movie ends an hour and a half later, and I stand up to go to the bathroom. I take one step to my left and immediately trip over the open knife, stubbing my two smallest toes on my right foot on the blade of the knife. I exclaimed "WHAT THE F**K WAS THAT" because I had managed to completely forget the knife was there at that point. I looked back at my foot (I was still on the ground at this point) and saw two very deep, awkward cuts on my toes that were squirting blood. I already have over-circulation in my feet naturally so it bleed a LOT. I had to hop one footed into the kitchen and slap a wad of paper towels to get some pressure and stem the bleeding. There was blood all over the floor in a trail leading to my room, like a murder scene. Impulsively, I got down on the floor and started to clean up all the blood...this part was kind of a blur I don't really remember why I felt the need to clean it all up right away but I got very tired after and I was bleeding a lot still...I sat on the couch, sweating my ass off, and almost blacked out. I had to concentrate so hard to keep my vision from going black.This was back in August, and my apartment in Boston was about 90 degrees on that day. I had not eaten breakfast or anything and I don't remember having any liquids yet either. I stupidly did not call 9-1-1 even though I was bleeding profusely and elected to self treat myself. I got the bleeding to fully stop about two days later, and used some butterfly bandages to I was on crutches that I had for about a week.

This picture was taken 2 days after it happening. The pinky toe has a big chunk hanging off held on by that bandage. You can probably also tell, when comparing to the middle toe, how swollen they both are. Was not fun. Definitely a lesson in knife safety.

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I want to again stress how convenient super glue is for minor to medium size cuts. Someone will hopefully correct and better explain. Super glue was used as a field bandage in ww2 or Vietnam. Now they market overpriced second skin and stuff, but i buy the glue in a green capsule with red cap on the bottom and inside is the tube with a pin stopper off ebay by the dozen. Keep some in my tool box, some in my car kit bag etc, and lately ive been edcing a tube to work. Its racking up more frequent use than my swiss army knife, pocket folder, and flashlight it seems. Think i posted earlier how i patched up a coworkers thumb and saved er a hospital stitch job, the coworker i posted a few threads up i would qualify as something that required stitches.

Nothing sweeter that patching up a nick or bleeding crack and going right back to work, rather than nursing the bleeding for hours and working around the handicap of a bandage for a week.
Get equipped!
 
Two stories:

After getting my first Warther made carving knife, I decided to test the sharpness by whittling at a piece of basswood. After a few minutes, I stabbed the basswood and went to do something else. Trying to get it out ending with a nasty gash on my index finger.

I once let a friend borrow my SAK and well, when I got it back, it had a nasty chip on the tip of the main blade. Apparently, he had decided to try to cut 1/4 inch braided copper cables. He claimed "my knife was not sharp enough".
 
When we were in high school I had a Gerber mark 2 clone. My best friend wanted to see it so, of course, I handed it over. He had been handling it for several minutes when he fumble fingered it and it dropped. The knife made a perfect rotation and landed point first in the hardwood floor, right between his big and first toes. He is a big guy, but he made this peculiar little squeak noise. There was no blood at all, until I carefully pulled the knife out of the floor. He bled for 5 minute before we could get it to stop. He still has the scar between his toes. Every now and then I ask him if he wants to see that knife. For some unknown reason to this day, 27 years later, he still won't touch that knife. :-) The worst part of the episode was realizing that had the knife landed a little to either side he could have lost a toe. The knife was embedded about 3/8 inch in the floor until I removed it. A couple of years later his Mom was all ticked off because she found a knife mark in her hardwood floor. We stayed straight faced and pretended innocence as we used a filler and sanded it smooth. :-)
 
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Tripped over a pair of shoes in the kitchen and fell totally awkward between a door which I ended up slamming against a wall......with a 10" butcher knife in my hand. There was no time to drop it as I fell and it got jammed between me and the the door. There was a chance of full torso penetration , but I came out unscathed. Scared the living $hit outta me.
Other than that , just the occasional nick here and there.

One thing I'll never buy is one of those spiked end tomahawks. I was thinking about getting one , but no thanks. One missed back swing is all it would take to lose an eye or worse. Not worth it , Imo. I'll stick to old school hatchets.
 
Over the summer I was helping my grandmother put one of those plastic orange fence things up around her garden when she asked if she could barrow my knife. I asked her what she was going to do with it and she said I am just going to cut a piece of this fence off.I said be careful and handed her my ZT 0350. And I went on working in the garden, when I turned around she was stabbing it into the ground trying to break up some cow manure. I rushed over and said NO!!!!!!!! and she said why, I said you are hurting my knife and took it away. She said "oh, I thought that would sharpen it." It took me quite a while to work the chips out of the edge with my sharp maker.
Another time helping my uncle on one of his tree jobs, A family friend of mine who was also working on the job came up and asked If he could barrow my knife. I asked what for and he said just to cut some zip ties. I said OK and handed once again, my ZT 0350 to him. He comes back a few minutes later and hands me my knife back with scratches all over the blade and a few dings in the edge and says, "I hate your knife, it has that stupid curve in the blade." and walks away. Apparently he was cutting zip-ties off of a metal level. I now dont lend my knife to anybody.
I think the stupidest thing I have ever done with a knife is Stabbing an empty paint bucket with my bk 11 for no reason and a sharp edge on the paint can stabbed me.
 
One of my sheeple Friend borrowed my cold steel spartan for cutting some nylon ropes. He was amazed how good it cuts and say awesome thing abt it. The only problem was that after he was done, he left it in my glove compartment.... With blade fully extended. And when I reached in to grab my spartan, you know what happen.

He didn't know how to work with the liner lock.

Was he the dumb one, or was I ??
 
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