A bit of an explanation about my recently concluded Period of Anticipation, hope y'all don't mind the length.
First, the picture...
Now the story...
A simple ad, sporting the seductive title "Chris Reeve Large Sebenza 21". Make the post - "I'll take it, PM inbound for payment details." Oh, goodness, that first pinprick of "Holy carp, I just committed to spending *how much* on a knife?!" Then that little hit of, "Yeah, but a Sebenza!" Slight pang of anticipation waiting for that first acknowledgement from the buyer that they've seen my post, and that some other hooligan hasn't snuck in before me. Complete the payment. Await the tracking number. Check USPS.com. Check again. Wait a few hours, check again. Counting the hours until "Anticipated Delivery Date".
Fortunately, the upstairs bathroom sprung a leak into the kitchen ceiling below, so I have a legitimate reason to stay home on Anticipated Delivery Date. Mail generally arrives a little after noon. Check the mailbox at 1:30 - nothing. Check again at 3:30 - nada. Leave to pick up The Little One from daycare, return home to junk mail in the box, and the First Sign - an orange slip in the door "Sorry to have missed you. You may pick up you package tomorrow at ..."
AAAUUUGGHHHH!!!! Are you kidding? OK, OK, calm down, just one more day.
Leave for early lunch on Tomorrow. Arrive at USPS, heart rate is increased a few beats. Only two people ahead of me in line. They are dispensed with quickly by the lovely and uber efficient postal clerks. "Next?" Walking to the counter with just over double-speed heart rate, hand over the orange ticket (and Willie Wonka thought Gold was the best color for a Ticket!), hand over the picture ID, and wait while that wonderful USPS clerk walks behind The Wall That Holds All. 20 seconds becomes 60, One minute becomes Two. An empty handed no good louse of a postal clerk returns. "Sir, if you'd come with me. We can't find your package, but I'll take you over to see Sylvia in Claims, and she can get you started." On what, pain killers?
This is a surreal nightmare. Surely, he's joking. They can't loose the most important package I've ever ordered, could they? Knocks on door of Claims, no response. "I'll just return to my station and page someone to meet you here." I'm numb, not really registering what he's saying. One minute becomes Two. A new postal clerk ushers me into the inner sanctom, one in which every single door is emblazed with a sign that reads "NOT AN EXIT". "Sylvia will be with you shortly, she's out looking for another package." Idiots, apparently they have a person whose fulltime job is to locate packages they loose. One minute becomes Two, then Three, then Five. I've become convinced I've just entered the Twilight Zone, they'll never find the package, at best the shipper recovers his insurance, refunds me the money, and I again search for the right knife. Rinse, repeat.
Finally, a mountain of a woman appears, with the most recent useless postal clerk who'd brought me into Claims, and an unspoken but implied, "This is Sylvia." She takes my taunting little orange ticket, types something into a computer. "Is that Gateway or Gatewood?" Aha, a clue as to what's happened. "Gatewood." "Just a moment." Sylvia disappears behind The Wall That Holds All. One minutes becomes Two, then Three. Sylvia returns with The Package. I can barely keep from ripping it out of her voluminous hands. "Please sign here, and print your name." Scribble, scribble, ... print, print. "Here you are, Thank You!" No, NO - THANK YOU!!! Coulda kissed Mt. Sylvia right there.
Into the car, out with the utility knife to carefully pierce the USPS Small Flat Rate cardboard - one side, two sides, then three. Open, ..., and SMILE! Chris Reeve box, and opened to reveal Birth Certificate, and The Blue Blanket, inside of which was... my new-to-me Large Sebenza 21.
So, an adventure, an exercise in patience that I completely failed, a fully exercised heart, a new knife, and undying love for Mt. Sylvia. Quite a week, and it's only Tuesday.