The "Stabman Starter Kit" Giveaway

stabman

stabman

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What did you always want to be when you grew up? A superhero, of course (that's the correct answer; every other option is wrong...you'll soon agree). But with life getting in the way, you never got around to it, never knew where to start.

But don't fear, Stabman is here to get you started, with this handy starter kit:



You get a Condor Knives Barong Machete, 100 feet of red paracord, and the greatest work of literature ever produced by the human mind, Stabman: Diary of a Superhero/Psycho. And a Band-aid to put on the inevitable gunshot wounds.
A machete will help out in many endeavors, the book will inspire you, and Boondock Saints showed us all how useful rope is. :)

But, you ask, how may one prove one's worthiness to receive such a boost of awesome? That's a good question, and the answer is coming up.
You post in this thread, telling the world why you want to be a superhero, and/or your name and mission.

For the lazy and unimaginative I have created this handy Superhero Name Generator

Start with an optional "The", and then pick a word from each of these sections:

1) Ultra; Ghost; Beast; Danger; Dark; Golden; Silver; Robo; Spider; Bat; Adventure; Tree; Master; Moon; Swamp; Iron; Bionic; Crimson; Blood; Black; Mega; Vigilant; Steel; Amazing; Doctor; Night; Spirit; Captain/General/Major/etc.; Your nationality; Sloth; Professor

2) Man; Woman; Boy; Girl; Beast; "bot"; Guardian; Star; Master; Avenger; Panda; Legend; Knight; Lotus; Fist; Warrior; Being; Pirate; Amazing; Justice; Owl; Eagle; Crusader; Vengeance; Name of your country

3) Mighty; Heroic; Dangerous; Vigilant; Vengeful; Furious; Astounding; Violent; Energetic; Brutal; Enthusiastic

4) Champion; Destroyer; Protector; Hunter; Defenestrator; Avenger; Upholder; Stalker; Accumulator; Paragon; Exemplar; Master; Lover; Butcher; Defender; Biter; Scourge; Fighter; Slayer; Vigilante; Harvester; Warrior; Apostle; Annihilator; Dispenser

Connected with an "of" or "for"

5) Justice; Truth; Intoxication; Decency; Worms; Mimes; Laziness; Earth; Chaos; Knives; Virginity; Goats; Innocence; Adventure; Danger; Virtue; Forrests; Knowledge; Freedom; Decay; Zombies; Villainy; Thugs; Goodness; Criminals/crime; Evil; Demons; Death; Trees; Poverty; Spiders/centipedes; Squirrels; Mom's Basement

You'll note that some words fit into a few categories...play around with it. :)

You can be American Justice, or American Justice, Mighty Champion of Freedom.
Or Beastman, Energetic Lover of Goats.
Or Silver Sentinel, Vigilant Defender of Mom's Basement.

The choice is yours.

Contest runs till May 25th, 2013. Post number is your entry number. One post per person. Winner will be selected by Random.org. Open to all in Canada and the USA.

Heed the Call!!!
 
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I just bought the Kindle version after previewing the first few pages. Looks like a good read. I don't have a FB page, sorry, but I feel they are a waste of time.
My superhero name is SpikeHawk, Agent of Fortune. "making stupidity painful!"
 
I would always want to be Batman (I know) cuz he's the crap and has no powers but Intelligence, wealth, and skillz.... But for this contest I would be SpiderManBearPig, Champion of Bovine Flatulence. Because Im SUPER CEREAL about global warming!

Thanks for the opportunity Stabman!
 
I always wanted to be a super villain. The Nightman, Brutal Master Of Villainy!

Thank's for the chance, I could use some blood red paracord!
 
Crimson Legend, Enthusiastic Harvester of/for Knowledge

Thanks for the chance to enter.
 
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A fellow writer! Joy!

Oh, I'm totally Snowman.

I take care of what's left of humanity after the Evil Crake nearly destroys the human race.

Yes, I'm a big Atwood fan. ;)

I'm gonna go check out your book on my Kindle now.

Thanks for the chance. The coolest gaw I've seen to date. :)

Edit:. If I win can I swap the machete for the twin s90v ti frame locks, and Emerson? ;) :D
 
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I am Doctor Lotus, Heroic Dispenser of Trees. My mission is destroy all the trees in the world to avenge my family, who were killed by a clique of crazy conifers, and free the world from their villainous grasp, and I think the Condor Barong might help with that.




Also, just to clear up some misunderstandings people may have: I don't want to destroy ALL the trees. Just the evil ones that are going around causing crimes and stealing our jobs. You can't call me bigoted because some of my friends are trees.
 
Not an entry, but this is the best giveaway contest I've ever seen. :thumbup:

Beastman, Energetic Lover of Goats had me laughing.
 
I am the Ultra Amaaazing Astounding Exemplar of Goodness!


for obvious reasons you cannot actually enter me in this contest
after all as a true superhero whaddaya think i would need that stuff for
i conquer with the power of my, um, whatever​
 
This is way too fun to not post. I don't even care if I don't win.

Robo T-Rex, Furious Pincher of Squirrels

I want to save the world from the wrath of squirrels.
 
stabman said:
For the lazy and unimaginative I have created this handy Superhero Name Generator
Click to expand...

For the even lazier, I've automated your Superhero Name Generator... link here ;)

I am... Iron Pirate, Scourge of Decency! Sounds more like a villain name, but good can come of it. A bit of indecency helps keep things interesting. ;)

I'm in. Thanks for the chance!
 
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Moon Pirate, Dangerous Destroyer of Hate(Ignorance would work too).
My true quest as a super hero would be to battle hate and fear, and to fight for human rights.

Really cool idea! Thanks for the chance.
 
LOL this is hilarious!

From the automated generator: I am Bat Eagle, Mighty Biter of Justice!

I want to read your book.
 
The Vigilant Panda: Enthusiastic Paragon of Intoxication and Vengeful Master of Squirrels.

I want to be the Vigilant Panda so I can win this contest. :thumbup:
 
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