TL-29 Giveaway

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LKJW

LKJW

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Nov 21, 2010
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I had a blast with the fish knife giveaway. And the TL-29 is one of my favorite patterns. I have a handful. I'm gonna have one less. Not putting up a pic, the winner can do that, but it will be NICE. If you have one, you should have two. If you don't...good lord, what are you even doing in the Traditional forum??? :confused: :rolleyes:

So, I think I'll draw a name again with my lovely assistant. I figure a lot of people will want in on this. So, I'm thinking we will pull the lucky name on the 16th (my lucky #).

All you gotta do is provide a joke. Here's mine.

An irishman moves to America and finds a local pub. He orders three pints and drinks them alone and then leaves. He does this for weeks. Finally the bartender asks why he doesn't order them one at a time. The man explains that when he left Ireland, he went stateside, his brother went to Australia, and his other brother stayed home. They agreed that they would always drink a pint for the other two.

Years pass and everyone gets used to this. One day, the Irishman comes in and orders two pints. The bartender solemnly pulls them and puts them on the bar without making eye contact. All the regulars avert their eyes. When he returns the glasses on his way out, the bartender says, "Look, none of my business, but I'm sorry about your brother." The irishman gives him a queer look and then smiles. "Ag," he says, "they're fine. I just decided I'd quit drinking."

Yes, I have a lot of Irish blood in me, so calm down. ;) Let's do this. :thumbup:

Oh yeah, the knife in question may not be the engraved military issue. But it will be a Camillus or something nice.
 
The old couple is going to bed.
The old woman looks into the mirror when undressed and says to her husband
-my skin is old and my hair is thin and gray,
I,m fat and the breasts hang to my knees,
-I,m depressed, please say something good about me!

Well says her husband, -there is nothing wrong with your eyesight.

I have many times looked at pictures of those workhorses wanting to have one. I have never seen the pattern here in Sweden, eather new nor used.
Thank you for this opportunity. To bad posting first isnt like winning! ;)

Bosse
 
I'll play...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."


I love the TL-29 pattern, I only have one, a Boker, and it came from my grandfather.


Happy new year!


-Xander
 
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman go out to a pub and they all order a pint of Guiness. As the barman leaves three flies come around, each landing on one of the glasses and tasting the beer.

The Englishman call to the barman: "There's a fly in my beer. Bring me another!"

The Scotsman rolls his eyes and fishes out the fly with his finger and proceeds to drink his glass.

The Irishman, however, reaches in, pinches the fly and shouts: "Spit it out ya bugger! Spit it out!"

_______________________________________

I think I've got one. I got it from my grandfather's estate. I want to say its a Cutmaster but I'll have to look at it a little closer with the magnifying glass my wife got me for Christmas. Should make those tang stamps a might easier to read.
 
After 20 years of marriage, a woman decides she wants to do something nice for the wife and get a little something to spice up their marriage.

She goes out to the store and tells the salesman that she wants something sexy for her husband. The salesman brings something out and the woman says no no, Do you have something more sheer? The salesman goes in the back and gets another little number thats much more revealing, when he comes back the woman says, no no, do you have something even more sheer? So the salesman comes back with a sexy little number thats entirely sheer and shows everything. The woman says she will take it.

So when the husband comes home from work that night he hears his wife from the the top of the stairwell, "Honey, come upstairs and look at what I bought." The husband walks up the stairs. When he gets to the bedroom and comes in she is waiting and twirls around and asks her husband "What do you think?

Her husband looks again and says. "You couldnt get the store to iron it first"



anyways, never had one, but as you say, I probably should and I came late to the world of traditional knives hehe
 
I dont have one of these so Ill play. Thanks for the giveaway.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here. " The other muffin says ''Ahhh! A talking muffin."
 
While it may be true that the early bird gets the worm, so too is it that the second mouse gets the cheese.
 
Great idea, and great choice of a knife! I'd love to try a TL-29 pattern at work (marine electronics technician), so here's my entry. Thanks for the chance!

Three elderly Irish gentlemen, Pat, Finn, and Sean, meet for a weekly poker game. Their wives are none too pleased with their continued card-playing and whiskey drinking, so the three men meet in secret. One afternoon, Sean O'Toole keeled over at the poker table, dead from a heart attack. Pat and Finn, stunned, finish their whiskey and ponder what to do.
"We should call his wife straight away!" said Pat, ever vigilant and wholesome.
"Hang on just a minute," replied Finn. "D'you want yer missus to find out about our game?? I've got an idea."
After the ambulance departs, the two reluctantly make their way to the O'Toole residence, where Sean's wife Mary answers the door.
"What is it?" she asks, suspicious at the sight of her husband's delinquent cohorts upon her doorstep.
"Well, Mary..." Pat says, "I know how you hate us gamblin', but the God's honest truth is that your man Sean has lost a hundred bucks to me, and said that you'd be the one with the purse."
Incensed, Mary drew herself up, squaring her shoulders and tossing back her once-fiery-red hair, as she shouted:
"TELL THAT OLD COOT TO DROP DEAD!"


:D
(I've got some Irish, too...)
 
Great idea for a giveaway!:thumbup: Very generous of you, many thanks for the chance. Here is my joke:

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

Good luck everybody.
Jim
 
This one reminds me of my Papaw. He passed away when I was twelve and told this to me when I was about nine. Now keep in mind I had no idea what it meant until later but it still makes me laugh.

A young cowboy was riding into town one day and along the way he noticed a naked Indian laying on his back with a chubby. Curious he rode over and asked the man what he was doing. “Telling time” said the Indian, “It's 11:30”. The young man checked his watch and it was in fact 11:30. Astonished he rode on and a few hours later he noticed another Indian doing the same thing. He shouted to the Indian “What time is it?” and the Indian responded. “1:45”. He checked his watch and spot on it was 1:45. He rode on. He then came across and very young Indian laying on his back naked going to town, if you know what I mean. Completely confused he rode over and asked the young Indian what he was doing where he responded “Winding my watch”.

Now it took me a few years before I understood the joke and by that time he had already passed. Makes me think of him, and laugh, every time I tell it.

Thanks for the giveaway.
 
Two brothers, Danny, and Pat, were fishing in Galway Bay in a curragh. It was a slow, languid day, and the fish weren't biting. Danny leaned back, and let his drag in the water. He felt it bump against something, looked over the side, and saw a bottle.
He lifted it out, rubbed on it, and in a puff of smoke, a genie appeared.
Said the genie,"for freeing me, I shall grant you one wish."
Danny thought for a moment, and said: "Turn all the sea t' Guinness."
This was done, and the genie faded away.
Danny clapped Pat on the shoulder, and said: "Look it this, lad. We'll be drunk from here t' th' Pearly Gates!"
"Aye", said Pat, but we'll have t' piss in th' boat."

Does that get me in the running?
 
Thanks for the giveaway. I'm in.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
the other is usually the husband.

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else
to take care of first: the truck, the car, email, fishing, always
something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping
away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I
was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush.

'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep
the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

- Christian
 
I have a Camco 229, which is the same thing, and is my current work knife. I love it. Here is my entry:

A man finds a bottle on the beach, rubs it, and in a cloud of smoke and rush of noise, a genie appears.

" I will grant you three wishes, but there is a catch. Whatever you wish for, you will get, but your mother-in-law will get double. Do you accept?"

"I can live with that," the man replies. "My first wish, I want ten-million-dollars!"

-POOF- "You have ten-million-dollars in First National Bank, and your mother-in-law has twenty-million-dollars there as well."

"Okay. Now, I want a mansion on a hill!"

-POOF- "You now have a fifty room mansion on a hill in the Hamptons, and your mother-in-law has one on either side of you."

The man thinks for a minute, then says "Genie, for my final wish, I wish you would beat me half to death..."
 
A fellow is walking home with a bucket of fish he just caught. The park ranger asks to see his fishing license. "I didn't catch these" says the fellow, "they're my pet fish. I was just taking them out for exercise at the pond. When they are finnished, I just call them and they jump back in the bucket. I can show you if you like". "This I have to see" said the ranger.

They walked back to the pond and the fellow dumped the fish in. "Well, call the fish back" said the ranger". "What fish?" said the fellow.
 
A horse, a priest and a rabbi go into a bar. The bartender says "what is this, a joke?"
 
HAKnPocket said:
This one reminds me of my Papaw. He passed away when I was twelve and told this to me when I was about nine. Now keep in mind I had no idea what it meant until later but it still makes me laugh.

A young cowboy was riding into town one day and along the way he noticed a naked Indian laying on his back with a chubby. Curious he rode over and asked the man what he was doing. “Telling time” said the Indian, “It's 11:30”. The young man checked his watch and it was in fact 11:30. Astonished he rode on and a few hours later he noticed another Indian doing the same thing. He shouted to the Indian “What time is it?” and the Indian responded. “1:45”. He checked his watch and spot on it was 1:45. He rode on. He then came across and very young Indian laying on his back naked going to town, if you know what I mean. Completely confused he rode over and asked the young Indian what he was doing where he responded “Winding my watch”.

Now it took me a few years before I understood the joke and by that time he had already passed. Makes me think of him, and laugh, every time I tell it.

Thanks for the giveaway.
Click to expand...

I just called my buddy Cardinal out on the Rez and told him that one. I think he's still laughing. It'll be all over town tomorrow.:D

Mine:
A guy, a pig, and a dog were the survivors of a terrible shipwreck, and they found themselves stranded on a desert island.

After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle, a perfect night for romance!

As they sat there, the pig started looking better and better to the guy. Soon, he leaned over to the pig and put his arm around it.

But, the dog became jealous, growling fiercely until the guy removed his arm from around the pig. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and low and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the guy had ever seen.

She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to good health.

When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual.

It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the guy started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
 
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Thanks for the chance. I used to own one and miss its presence.


Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground.

The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch crash. The second throws his watch and takes only two steps when he hears his watch shatter.

The third tosses his watch off the tower, jogs down the stairs, goes to a candy store, buys a snack, walks back to Big Ben and catches his watch. "How did you do that?" asks one of his friends.

















"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
 
An old woman takes her husband to the doctor for a checkup. The nurse tells the man that he needs to give a blood sample, a urine sample and a stool sample.

The old man, being hard of hearing, says "what"?!

The nurse repeats that he needs to give a blood sample, a urine sample and a stool sample.

Again that old man says "what"?!

Finally, the man's wife says to him, "Honey, the nurse said to give her your underwear!".
 
penguin has some auto trouble and takes his car into the shop
mechanic says "i'll take a look, come back in an hour"
since it is a hot summer day, the penguin gets himself a sundae at the adjacent dairy queen
of course, the penguin makes a mess eating the sundae (no fingers), but nevertheless enjoys himself, then returns to the mechanic's shop
the mechanic hears the penguin come in, dusts off his hands and says "it looks like you blew a seal"
the penguin says, "nah, it's just a little ice cream"

thanks for the giveaway! i always wanted one of those
 
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