TL-29 Giveaway

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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
 
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are traveling through the desert when their car suddenly stalls.

They all get out of the car and, upon realizing that its not going to start, they each take one thing from the car. The brunette takes a bottle of water and the redhead takes a bag of food. The blonde gets some tools from the trunk, removes a door from the car and takes the door with her.

They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest. At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead and ask her why she brought the food. She replies, "Well, in case I get hungry Ill have something to eat." They all think this is pretty reasonable.

Then the redhead and the blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided to bring water. The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got thirsty Ill have something to drink." They all decide thats a good idea, too.

Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde and ask her why on earth she would take the car door. She replies, "Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down the window."

Thanks for being generous! Good luck to all!
 
a mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. the bartender says "we don't serve mushrooms here." the mushroom says,"why not? i'm a fun guy"

thanks for the chance, i have never even handled a TL-29
 
jazub said:
a mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. the bartender says "we don't serve mushrooms here." the mushroom says,"why not? i'm a fun guy"

thanks for the chance, i have never even handled a TL-29
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I'm still laughing...simple yet hilarious..
 
ONLY IN ALABAMA !!!!!!!

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish shack down here in Montgomery, Alabama , and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor.."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."

Thanks for the chance,
Archie
 
So a guy walks into a bar, down on his luck and asks the bartender for a suggestion. The bartender comes back with just the thing and explains that it is called a Grasshopper. The man finishes his drink and heads on his way, feeling great and reletively relieved. As he is almost home he sees a grasshopper on the sidewalk and leans down and says,

"I just had a drink named after you!" and the grasshopper looks up and says,

"You just had a drink called Irving?"

Thanks for the chance!
 
My 'pick the number from the hat' assistant decided to nap early. When she wakes up.... ;)

So, you have a few more minutes to get your name in folks.
 
Pipedreams do come true (except those old San Francisco opium ones...they get you shanghai'd).

Thanks for all the laughs folks. Todd, PM me your info and be a little patient, we got the flu here. And thanks as always to my lovely assistant, Little Lockjaw.

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Probably be doing another giveaway in a bit, so stay tuned and keep 'em sharp and oily.
 
Congrats to PD for bein' so lucky and thanks for the generous giveaway LKJW.

BTW your assistant is beautiful, reminds me of my daughter when she was young, my Princess just turned 20, enjoy the time when they're young the time passes quickly, before ya know it they're in college.:(
 
T. Erdelyi said:
Congrats to PD for bein' so lucky and thanks for the generous giveaway LKJW.

BTW your assistant is beautiful, reminds me of my daughter when she was young, my Princess just turned 20, enjoy the time when they're young the time passes quickly, before ya know it they're in college.:(
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Thanks man. Time is already moving too quickly. :eek:
 
LKJW said:
My 'pick the number from the hat' assistant decided to nap early. When she wakes up.... ;)
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Your lovely assistant certainly doesn't need to get any beauty sleep to become more beautiful. What a sweetie she is!! :thumbup:
 
Thanks Judy! I agree! Sorry she didn't pick your name. Maybe next time.
 
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