Another friend of Bill's chiming in. While hospitalized for something else I discovered I was physically addicted, WOW, alc withdrawal is a real thing!
For anyone trying to go it alone, AA is a great help and the fellowship I've found there is beyond any I've found in any church. There are those who have to be beyond anonymous such as professional pilots. Maybe online with your camera off would work?
Keep coming back, it works if you work it!