Hi Ada,
I own quite a few knives, both Benchmades (BM) and Spydercos. Most are the smaller versions of larger knives. This is primarily because I have very small hands and the most important aspect of choosing a knife, for me, is fit. Can I open the knife and close it with one hand? Can I hold it comfortably, without finger grooves pushing into my hands?
I guess my suggestion would be that if you can hold a few knives do so, so that you can get a feel for what you like and don't like in folders. I hold my boyfriend's knives, and immediately tell him that if they were about 2 inches smaller, they would be perfect.
If you can't do that, I can offer a few suggestions from my collection: The Benchmade Leopard Cub. It is small and has beautiful lines, although the point may break off under heavy use. It's also a liner lock. The Spyderco Jess Horn. Comes in two sizes to fit your needs, ( the smaller one only available through A.G. Russell) and if you look at the A.G. Russell web site, you can find them in white and maroon micarta. It's tip up carry, and the larger one should be pretty solid. The Spyderco Calypso Jr. I have the micarta one and its is wonderful, although it now comes in the "lite" weight form as well as the steel. You may be able to find the micarta if you look though. It's a great little knife that can be held by even those with larger hands and it is a solid blade that should stand up to use.
Good luck with your search. If you want any more girly ideas, drop a line.
Yours,
-Beth-