I don't live in Xanadu, but I think it must be close by.
As one of the lucky ones, I can't complain. I'm just waiting on my new sheepfoot TC Barlow. Thanks to the miracles of technology, I can now follow my knife's progress across North America via the USPS tracking service. I was better off being ignorant. It's like making sausage. You don't really want to know everything that goes into it.
Day 1: Knife leaves Sulphur, Oklahoma and arrives in Oklahoma City.
Day 2: Knife leaves Oklahoma City and arrives about 24 hours later in West Sacramento! It has traveled 1670 miles in just 2 days.
Day 3: My new knife is at the USPS facility just 17 miles east, with a note on the website saying it will go out for delivery the next day!
Day 4: My knife has been moved to Folsom, 34 miles further east, and is now 41 miles from my home.

The website says it is going out for delivery.
Day 5: The Postal Service is sending my knife back to the West Sacramento office.

But the website says it will be delivered to me today!
Day 6 (Today): Now my knife has been brought the 15 miles west to my Post Office, just 2 miles away.
Like sausage making, I don't understand the details of the process. It could be that this was the most efficient way to move my package 17 miles over 4 days.

I am to blame. I should never have clicked the "Track Package" button.
This is torture, but it is self-inflicted.