OP here. Some background info, for anyone who cares:
Some time in the past (maybe a year or two ago) I bought the grooved version. I wasn't ready to pop its cherry, so it sat in one of my Spydiepacks. Then I watched a review of it, where the reviewer was joking about how everyone said it looked like a penis. From that point forward, I didn't know what to do with it, because it kind of looked like a penis to me at that point, too. (It hadn't occurred to me before watching the video.) So, I wasn't sure whether I'd resell the knife or use it, and it sat there some more. Fast forward in time. I found a plain one for sale online a week ago, and I bought it, thinking that I'd compare the two in front of me and decide once and for all which one I liked better, and I'd sell off the other one. But even when I had both on the table, I still couldn't figure it out, which led to this online poll. The comments seem to indicate that the "penis people" are more vocal, but the polling data so far indicates that people are roughly split on this one, so I'm roughly back to where i started, though maybe not, since I can say with confidence that *not* everyone thinks the grooved one looks like a penis and would therefore choose the smooth one.