Why I'm not especially fond of special orders -- Pix and sort of joke.

Bill Martino

Bill Martino

Joined
Mar 5, 1999
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Here's part of the order which I emailed ver batim to BirGorkha:

Just though I would drop you a note to follow up on my order for a camp sword (the extra long two-handed AK Bowie we discussed in an email last week). My desired outcome is an AK bowie with an 18" blade attached to a 10" handle. Blade width, fullers, and thickness should remain as they currently are giving the piece a distinctive sword-like appearance.

There are also two other minor changes in the picture I sent you. First the cho has been eliminated to remove a possible stress riser; and, a brass (or steel) guard has been added. My thoughts are that the guard can be held in place by fitting it tightly against the blade and holding it there with metal liners inserted under the horn handle scales. Since these knives are Chiruwa style, the rivets holding the scales would also hold the liners and the guard in place. This should make for a strong sword without adding the complication of soldering the components. I would like the end result to be an attractive dui-chirra blade heavy two handed short sword, about 28 inches OAL, with a good edge designed specifically to chop hard woods. If it works I hope to use it to replace my Estwing model 5 Camper's ax.

====================================

And here is the reply I got:

Subj: Re: AK Bowie camp sword for customer N2S
Date: 11/13/02 6:31:32 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: birgorkha@enet.com.np (gelbu)
To: HIMIMP@aol.com




Dear Bena,
Every thing in this orders is clear and I have written in Nepali and gave order to Pradeep........

====================================

And here is what we got -- 9.5 blade and 9.5 handle, 44 ounces. No solder and no cho. Excellenty crafted by Bura & Co. Only problem is it's not what we ordered.

What shall we do N2S? If you want this botched up job email and post. If you don't anybody want it? Make me an offer I can't refuse.

And this is why I'm not especially fond of taking on special orders.
 

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Well, it certainly is, um, unique. It's pretty and it looks like it's tougher than a brick doghouse. I guess you could add a few stabilizers to the handle and you'll have one helluva serious lawn dart... :footinmou
 
OMG..:eek: ROFLMAO:rolleyes:

Not sure what it would be good for Uncle Bill.

Maybe hang it on the wall to remember not to do special orders anymore.
 
..wasn't there a discontinued mass produced blade; the 'warthog'? looks kinda like one of those, though I like the idea of a psychotic lawn dart from hell.

munk
 
Well . . . asked for a 10" handle and they came up with 9.5" . . . asked for a 18" blade and they came up with 9.5". Maybe if you ask for a 36" blade, they might come close? :p

Or maybe the other way around: ask for a Tarwar with a Bowie blade.

You're right, the kamis just want to make life difficult for you!:grumpy:
 
They referenced the 18" mentioned, divided that in half and never looked back. I'm thinking special orders should be as simply stated as possible. But you have to explain what and how you want it so what could a guy do?

munk
 
.... bill me. :D

Lets look on the bright side. They got the handle right, the crossguard looks close, the blade is almost right. All we need is a blade strecher and the thing would be perfect.

So send me the invoice for this, this.... uhm, whatever it is; oh Stubby One. Lets take a look at it and perhaps we can make a correction and order a second version (take II comming up). The guys came pretty close, you really don't want to see what what was often delivered in high tech. In that area when you design a knife the factory might end up sending you a dead racoon painted green with a lavender stripe down the middle.

n2s
 
You know, if you hold your hand over the picture, one half at a time, the 2 parts look pretty good. Separately.
 
If you wanted two hands on a handle for control as you split into an Elk this blade isn't so bad. Also, you could stick the thing in a wooden shaft with a hollowed end and have a spear?

It is so bizarre, it might be a good prop for a horror movie.


munk

N2: your specs were for a kind of ultimate Bowie, weren't they?
 
N2: your specs were for a kind of ultimate Bowie, weren't they?
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No, it was for a wood chopping machete.
=======================
I would like to order a special Ang Khola Bowie. This knife would be similar but longer then the standard knife.
1) The blade should be lengthen to 18 inches (45.5 cm)
2) The blade's width remains as per the standard HI AK Bowie
3) The blade's maximum thickness at the spine remains at 1/2 inch (1.2 cm) as per the standard HI AK Bowie
4) The blade should be made without a cho.
5) The blade has two fullers on each side as per the standard HI AK Bowie
6) The handle should be lengthen to allow the use of both hands. A length of 9-10 inches (~24 cm) should be enough
7) The handle width remains as per the standard HI AK Bowie
8) The handle thickness remains as per the standard HI AK Bowie
9) The handle is chiriwa and has a similar shape to the standard HI AK Bowie
10) The handle has a small oval guard (either steel or brass) about 3 inches high by 1.5 inch wide and 3/16 inches thick.
11) The guard is mechanically held in place against the blade by two 1/16 inch liners
12) The liners fit underneath the entire length of the horn handle material and secured by the handle rivets.

13) The sheath and other items are similar to the standard HI AK Bowie

This version of the AK Bowie is intended to work as a heavy machete. It should balance so as to be able to chop wood, and it should have a strong edge. I have attached some pictures showing how the finished knife should look.
===================================

n2s
 

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Wow, the stretched out concept of what it should have been looks really nice.

lol, sickening Uncle Bill? Hey, someone's gotta love that red-headed stepchild of the original. :p
 
Oh, this has got to be so frustrating for all parties.

n2s...I like your pic and where you're after with your request.
What is the estimated weight of this piece...3.5 pounds or so?
Or am I off...

The maker is getting your request/description 3rd or 4th hand after going through an interpreter. Hard to do. I wish you luck.

Maybe sending a wood model would work. It would take a lot longer but there is no question about what you want. Maybe someone here could help you out.

Now let's look on the bright side...or not so dark side. You've got a hella stout bowie with a king size grip you can adapt or cut down. There is a lot of material there to work with.
and they did get the handle right.
 
Maybe you could fix it so the handle was hinged to fold in half for carry and then lock back into place for chopping?

Pardon me for signing off before I start screaming with laughter.

My apologies, N2S. I see from your workup what you wanted - I understand your frustration - but it's just tooooo hilarious for words!!!!!!!!!:footinmou :footinmou :D :D :D :D :D
 
What's that thing called that they prod elephants with? Mwhaaaaa haaa haaaa!!!
 
You realize my wife's not gonna get any sleep tonite with me shaking with laughter every five minutes or so on the other side of the bed!
 
It's remembering me a similar "adventure" with a french knifemaker And I was more ":grumpy: " than ":D "!
The result is not bad N2Sharp but the difference with your original draw is really, how to say... surprising.

Bill !!!! I understand better your "No promises" in your email about my BirGorkha Kothimoda 15" with standard leather scabbard.. I'm frightened now!!!
 
Originally posted by Rusty
You realize my wife's not gonna get any sleep tonite with me shaking with laughter every five minutes or so on the other side of the bed!
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I haven't stopped laughing yet from last night either.:D
 
Rusty,

I guess we just came up a little short. :D

It looks like kind of thing you would unsheath only to end up with one of those classic embarrassing moments. Like dropping your draws and having the girl stare, point, and giggle (for the record - its never happened).

Then you realize that this ......_____knife is actually 18 inches long and a 1/2" thick and you feel like the guy who just insulted and angered somebody who is three times their size.

Oh well, I'll just think of this one as the Danny Devito half of the duo in Twins. Now, we have to work on the Arnold counterpart.

n2s
 
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