WOT: Lying 7 year old

T

theedge13

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Feb 11, 2008
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Guys need some help. This is way off topic but i thought about asking here. My son has been lying to me. He has been caught and it keeps getting worse. Started off that he lyed to me weekend before last. I caught him and grounded him (no nintendo, tv, drawing, etc). Lasted a couple of days then I decided that was good enough. Then not 3 days later another bold face lie. This time when confronted he changed his story and said that he didnt remember. BS! I havent had any problems with him, ever. The grounding didnt do any good. SO this weekend I have some leaves that need to be raked and he is going to be introduced to Mr. Manuel Labor. I need other suggestions. My mom and dad just would have beat my ass. I am not against this just as an extremely last resort. WWWS&SD (what would WS&S do)?

Thanks


Chad :mad:
 
I had the same problem with my daughter.....I ended up having a long talk with her on how if she had something to tell me; she would never be punished as long as she told me the truth. I have stuck with it so far..sometimes it is hard to not punish her for some things she has done...but it has definitely helped.
 
Two hard cover books. One in each hand, his arms outstretched at shoulder height.
He'll think its no big deal at first. Tell him that if he puts them down before you tell him to you'll add a day to grounding (or threaten with worse;)).
 
sigsour said:
I had the same problem with my daughter.....I ended up having a long talk with her on how if she had something to tell me; she would never be punished as long as she told me the truth. I have stuck with it so far..sometimes it is hard to not punish her for some things she has done...but it has definitely helped.
Click to expand...

Thanks sig. I had that talk yesterday w/ him. I explained that a lie hurts many many people.
 
[youtube]b6J8Lwc6Qn0[/youtube]

:D

in all honesty though, a good talkin seems to work ok at a young age.
 
My parents were spankers. Wel... my dad took it a little too far... every single time. BUT, my mother was a normal person and just did a normal spanking. That got results from me. I never made the same mistake twice.
 
I tell my kids (8 year olds) that lying is ok for little kids because they don't really know any better, say about 3 or 4 years old. So if they lie to me, they get treated like a 3 or 4 year old. All big kid privileges - and I do mean all - get taken away. That can get old pretty fast for them. But I still have some problems every now and again also.
 
Just keep taking privilages away.... (not drawing though.... that's developmental.) Take away toys, games, movie time... that sort of thing. Don't blow up or get too angry. Just be "matter of fact" about it... if he lies he gets punished... that simple. Don't dwel on the lie itself... be very supportive of telling the truth. Positive reinforcement works!

If it doesn't..... beat him with his own shoes!!!

Rick (I have a 3 and 6yr old... plus 9 very close neices and nefews 5-13yrs)
 
Magnussen said:
Just keep taking privilages away.... (not drawing though.... that's developmental.) Take away toys, games, movie time... that sort of thing. Don't blow up or get too angry. Just be "matter of fact" about it... if he lies he gets punished... that simple. Don't dwel on the lie itself... be very supportive of telling the truth. Positive reinforcement works!

If it doesn't..... beat him with his own shoes!!!

Rick (I have a 3 and 6yr old... plus 9 very close neices and nefews 5-13yrs)
Click to expand...

Thanks Rick, he can live w/out his nintendo and movies. without his pen and paper he nearly dies. When that is a given it is hard to not use that. But your advice helps.

Chad
 
Magnussen said:
Just keep taking privilages away.... (not drawing though.... that's developmental.) Take away toys, games, movie time... that sort of thing. Don't blow up or get too angry. Just be "matter of fact" about it... if he lies he gets punished... that simple. Don't dwel on the lie itself... be very supportive of telling the truth. Positive reinforcement works!

If it doesn't..... beat him with his own shoes!!!

Rick (I have a 3 and 6yr old... plus 9 very close neices and nefews 5-13yrs)
Click to expand...

and 12 pairs of kid beating shoes. Its good to have an extra pair in case you have to send some out to be re-soled. lol
 
Tell him you're taking him out for pizza and ice cream...


....then tell him you lied!

"See how it feels, son?"

Alternately, hang one of those scary Balinese demon masks in a closet in your home, and for each lie, he gets a half hour in the demon mask closet. :D

p87865_1.jpg
 
Corporal punishment " spanking" is not against the law in the state I live in. Set a personal rule, say, no more than three swats, so that if choose to use it, that it cannot be construed against you as abuse. Coporal punishmant administered in a controlled enviorment could be effective. If you do choose to use it, prepare to be questioned by others.
 
C.S. Graves said:
Tell him you're taking him out for pizza and ice cream...


....then tell him you lied!

"See how it feels, son?"

Alternately, hang one of those scary Balinese demon masks in a closet in your home, and for each lie, he gets a half hour in the demon mask closet. :D

p87865_1.jpg
Click to expand...

i think that may mentally scar the child :p
 
I have always asked my kids, "do you believe what I say is the truth?" The answer has always been yes. I then ask "Do you know why you think that?" they say something to the effect that I have never lied to them. Then I explain that lying hurts others, but more importantly they do not want to be that kid that no one believes when they have something important to say. Treat his every statement like you know he is lying and fact check everything he says (within reason). You do that for a few days, he'll feel the erosion of that trust and hopefully give thought to how much lying is worth to him. Mr. Manual Labor is a great assistant coach as well. "If you're out here working all day, then I won't have to ask you where you've been or what you've been doing--and you sure can't lie to me about it."

We have this problem with my stepson now. He has these "imaginary extensions" on deadlines for projects and assignments at school, then its all crocodile tears the night before everything is due. He values his PSP, reading, and sitting still. So our solution has been "If you can't manage your time and succeed, then we will manage your time. That way all you have to do is focus on the success part."

Make it about his actions and the effects. Not your feelings, not your anger. Plus, each child has something they value different. Ours hates to be outside (Why, I'll never know....my punishment was to come INSIDE as a kid). So yardwork, alongside me as I am clearing tons of brush seems to fit the bill. Every kid is different. Just keep in mind they need to know that they are doing it to themselves. None of this victim crap. Modify my advice to the age and sensitivity of the person in question. Ours is 12 so it's time to stop playing around. 7 is a bit young to pour it on strong. It would probably just overload someone that age.
 
My dad never raised his voice to us, let alone a hand. I like the idea of telling him that lying is for little kids. If he lies, he'll be treated like a baby, kept at home, given small, dumb toys to play with. Not trusted. His choice.
 
I spank when needed but communication is king.

Make sure he knows he can come to you with anything.
 
MY parents were spankers but try talking to him throw out examples,maybe he is being picked on or feeling neglected(Not saying he is just lil' kids have big feelings & want to feel apart of something) then spank him good if all else fails... Remember when talking to children kneel or sit down to there level it helps relieve the towering over /fear factor may make it easy for him to talk to ya !
 
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