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Best "You might Be A Redneck If . . . " Joke Of All Time?

Discussion in 'Busse Combat Knives' started by Jerry Busse, Sep 12, 2011.

  1. Jerry Busse

    Jerry Busse Moderator Moderator

    Aug 20, 1999
    Inspired by Dave Brown's hillbilly DNA, I decided to show off a bit of my own.

    The entire Busse clan hails from Kentucky and Jennifer's dad was a West Virginia coal miner who grew up in the same area of WV where they filmed "October Sky". :thumbup:

    Here's one of the best Jeff Foxworthy "Redneck" jokes . . . . and he never even used it! ( He thought it might be a bit too hot of a topic)

    "If you think that Roe vs. Wade is a fishing decision. . . You might be a redneck!" :eek:

    Classic! :thumbup:

    Bring your best,

    Jerry :D

  2. bmilla35


    Aug 29, 2007
  3. Solstice


    May 27, 2005
    My Dad was born (raised in part) in Quantico Va, and both his folks are from the South, my grandmother's family is based out of Florida where they are and have been Peanut Farmers for many generations. The family slogan is "Working for Peanuts".

    You might be a Redneck if you carry a fishing pole into SeaWorld.
  4. OldPhysics


    Sep 2, 2006
    I have always been partial to these:

    "If you think a chainsaw is a musical instrument ... you might be a redneck."


    "If you think a subdivision is part of a math problem ... you might be a redneck."

    But that's just me. A scientist who grew up a redneck in old, central California farming country.

    [And remember -- if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain ...]
  5. Steven65

    Steven65 Traditional Hog Platinum Member

    Mar 11, 2008
  6. Gravelface

    Gravelface Gold Member Gold Member

    Nov 8, 2005
    How do you circumcise a redneck..........

    Kick his sister in the jaw

    One of my favorite "Redneck" musicians

    Seasick Steve

  7. Jaxx

    Jaxx Moderator Moderator Platinum Member

    Jan 18, 2006
    If somebody hollers, "Hoedown!" and your girlfriend hits the floor...!
    ~Jeff Foxworthy (who pretty much owns 'em all. :D)
  8. David Brown

    David Brown Kydex Sheath and Holster Artist :) Moderator Knifemaker / Craftsman / Service Provider

    Jun 4, 2001
    Your Busse collection is worth more than your trailer :) :D
  9. rega25

    rega25 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jul 9, 2010
    You think the stock market has a fence around it.
    your home has more miles on it than your car.
    In an effort to lower cholesterol, you switch to spam lite
    Your house doesn't have curtains, but your car does.
    You use the O on a stop sign to sight in your new rifle

    Those are some of my favorites
  10. drbarnes


    Sep 13, 2010
    If your mother can tell a state trooper to f*!# off without taking the Marlboro out of her mouth.
    - Jeff Foxworthy
  11. OldPhysics


    Sep 2, 2006
    OMG ... I AM a redneck!!!
  12. SpyderPhreak

    SpyderPhreak Rocketman for hire Platinum Member

    Apr 13, 2004
    Jerry, I do a LOT of fishing... Love this!!!

    Also - October Sky was a GREAT movie! (I'm in the Aerospace biz)
  13. RedbeAR15

    RedbeAR15 Platinum Plucker Platinum Member

    Sep 29, 2008
    You might be a Redneck if you actually do wake up in the doghouse
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2011
  14. VoxHog

    VoxHog Gold Member Gold Member

    Oct 6, 2007
    If your family tree does not split...
  15. jtsharp


    Aug 19, 2009
    i was raised in ky but live in wv now. I think folks in wv talk kind of like the gay teacher off of family guy. ah ooh nahooo or something like that. its hard to spell. folks in wv think i talk funny too though...

    if a relative is known as....uncle papaw bubby---------you might be a redneck

    if you move to wv and think you now live with yankees-------you might be a redneck

    if you mow the lawn and find a car------you guys know whats next
  16. TerryBlinski


    Mar 24, 2011
    If you have sex with your cousin?
    If your car leaks oil?
    If you have mustache?
    If you watch NASCAR?

    I don't know that guy.

    Let's drink.
  17. TurnerIII


    Jul 20, 2005
    You just might be a redneck if........You ever got too drunk to fish.

    Wow there ARE a lot of red necks here in minnesota:thumbup::D.
  18. oge14

    oge14 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jun 14, 2007
    ken-tuck where teeth are optinal and the sheep are use to it.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2011
  19. oge14

    oge14 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jun 14, 2007
    a city boy was drivin through hardensburg, and his wife said honey i have to use the bathroom. well being a man of the city he paid no heed to his women.

    about sample Rd. she was in dire need of a relief. as they passed the old druther's resturant she was in able the hold her movement's. and pressed her flank's out the window for all too see.

    as they passed the wal mart, she released her tension.

    two ole boy's riddled with age caught the brunt of her release.

    the first one wiped his face and spoke "danm chewing bacca"

    the second said as he sopped his brow "yeah but did you see the cheek's on that one!!
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2011
  20. AZTimT

    AZTimT KnifeMaker / Craftsman / Service Provider Knifemaker / Craftsman / Service Provider

    Oct 15, 2009
    If you have a house on wheels and a vehicle on blocks...

    If you are mesmerized every time a toilet flushes...

    If being asked "Were you raised in a barn?" is answered yes with a straight face...

    If your first date ended on a haystack...

    If you join the military to have an easier life...

    If your house is on fire and you can meet the fire department halfway to save time...

    If your truck (or gun or INFI collection) costs more than your entire education...

    If your wife or a female family member holds the county record... in peeing for distance.... :eek:

    I'm not confessin' which ones are personally applicable...

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