Best "You might Be A Redneck If . . . " Joke Of All Time?

now are we talking "redneck's" or Hillbilly's? ladies please forgive me.

you want redneck, "raise your truck, fat chick's can't junp"

a billy say's with lothsome eye's, i spent three hour's at my ole lady's grave today,



bless her heart she think's i'm diggin a pond.:cool::thumbup:
 
you might be a redneck.....

if you haul lumber in your boat

if you hit a deer and then throw it in the truck

if you have a dozen matching salad bowls that say "cool whip" on the side

if your best pick up line is "your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl"

if you dont where a shirt and neither does your husband

if your truck payment is more than your house payment

if your favorite part of nascar is the left turn

if you think that your porch is a hunting blind (or if you use it for a hunting blind)
 
"If you've ever made change in the offering plate at church, you might be a Redneck"

I told that to a friend of mine from Texas and he said he's seen that one. If I remember correctly, he said that the conversation went like this at church:

Friend: Hey, what are you doing?
Friend's friend: I'm getting change for the bus.
Friend: God's going to be pissed at you for doing that.
Friend's friend: Well, God's going to be pissed if I don't get back home.
 
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

Man, Guess I am a redneck :eek:
 
"If your Momma has a spit cup on the ironing board. . . "

"If you walk your kid to school. . . because you are in the same grade."
 
Pokey1 said:
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

Man, Guess I am a redneck :eek:
Click to expand...


I love watching bug zappers and listening to the sizzle of the little bug bodies. The 6-pack makes it even more enjoyable!:thumbup: Not even kidding.:D
 
If your Jacko lantern has more teeth than your wife! If anyone has ever accussed you of lying though your tooth.
 
You might be a redneck if your brother and uncle are the same person.

You might be a redneck if you think a personalized license plate means a family member made it for you.
 
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom. ( I know a couple people who have actually done this.)
 
If you know the reason why some sheep has been marked with red grafitti spray on their back.............................................................they kick backwards
 
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