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Gupta please stop trying to get kronckew into trouble.
Next your be telling those adventurist BF travelers to ask what a Scot wears under his kilt ...
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Cho
- Thread starter mpteach
- Start date
Gupta please stop trying to get kronckew into trouble.
Next your be telling those adventurist BF travelers to ask what a Scot wears under his kilt ...
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...Cho me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I wanna cho to bed,
Well I had a little drinky 'bout an hour a'cho,
And it chwent right to my head...
I'm tired and I wanna cho to bed,
Well I had a little drinky 'bout an hour a'cho,
And it chwent right to my head...
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Gupta please stop trying to get kronckew into trouble.
Next your be telling those adventurist BF travelers to ask what a Scot wears under his kilt ...
it was akash, i, gupta would never put my client in any danger. akash is a scoundrel.
p.s. - asking a scot what is under his kilt is a form of assisted suicide. we here at the outsourcing agency would not recommend any of our clients do such a thing. watching mel gibson in that movie where he played wallace answered the question for most of the world.
this video clip taken from a recent taliban attack on a british compound in afghanistan manned by scots guards is also informative in that regard.
[youtube]ZxX7YW_97QU[/youtube]
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The story was beautifully credible until this bit of absurdity crept in. (SCOTS fans, right? sure...tossing money away just to escape.
That will happen.)But a bit a brilliance, this notwithstanding. Whomever the agent of artistry was, marvelously woven and crafted.
edit:
(after a brief, but intense, visit from the Scottish Culture Observance Taskforce Survey, I would like to apologise for any ethnic profiling I have done in this thread, or any other thread, or even any thread I might do in the future, or any thoughts I might have in the future which could lead to ethnic profiling---especially as it relates to the magnificent and glorious heritage of the Scottish peoples. I am especially impressed by the claymores and their utility at various forms of clearing one's mind and helping him think straight.
)Kis
enjoy every sandwich
Last edited:
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The story was beautifully credible until this bit of absurdity crept in. (SCOTS fans, right? sure...tossing money away just to escape.
But a bit a brilliance, this notwithstanding. Whomever the agent of artistry was, marvelously woven and crafted.
Kis
enjoy every sandwich
ah, well - i had considered the only thing that would slow down a team of greedy scots inflamed by adrenalin and the thrill of victory, and did not put enough thought into the fans being themselves scotsmen and thus equally thrifty. i apologize for the slip, we will endeavor not to repeat the mistake.
one of the problems with being in mumbai and never having been to scotland.
i am thanking you for the elucidation.
-gupta.
i would have said that they were of course not real coins.
-akash.
i am taking out a contract on you, akash. i have an uncle who is a thugee in need of a sacrifice to kali. i am tiring of you severely. everyone knows a scot would not throw away a coin, even a fake one. it would break his heart.
-the other gupta.
i am agreeing with myself.
-gupta
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Well, cho me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why
Cho me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why
For if we don't find
The next whiskey bar
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die
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i am glad to see we are upholding our tradition of being informative, factual and helpful, while maintaining decorum and professionalism.
in order to continue that trend i recommend we maintain the standards by agreeing on units of measurement that we will strictly adhere to in future:
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement=1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile perhour= Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycles
16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacard
19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard
20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig Newton
21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
24. 10 rations = 1 decaration
25. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
28. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
i thank you for your cho-operation.
in order to continue that trend i recommend we maintain the standards by agreeing on units of measurement that we will strictly adhere to in future:
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement=1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile perhour= Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycles
16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacard
19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard
20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig Newton
21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
24. 10 rations = 1 decaration
25. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
28. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
i thank you for your cho-operation.
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- 3,409
OK, then. moving along to some more tips more in keeping with this forum, i present some wisdom passed down from our great granny.
Tribal wisdom of the Alabama Blackfoot Indians (so legend has it), passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government, education and the corporate world, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Give both horse and rider a good whipping.
4. Re-structuring the dead horse's reward scale to contain a performance-related element.
5. Suspending the horse's access to the executive grassy meadow until performance targets are met.
6. Make the horse work late shifts and weekends.
7. Scrutinize and take back a percentage of the horse's past 12 months expenses payments.
8. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
9. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
10. Convene a dead horse productivity improvement workshop.
11. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
12. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
13. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
14. Outsourcing the management of the dead horse*.
15. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
16. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
17. Conduct a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
18. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
19. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And the always highly effective...
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory or managerial position.
*: we are liking this one very much, and would be pleased for bidding on a contract if anyone is being interested. - gupta.
edited:
i will come in at 10% less than whatever the guptas bid. - akash.
Tribal wisdom of the Alabama Blackfoot Indians (so legend has it), passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government, education and the corporate world, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Give both horse and rider a good whipping.
4. Re-structuring the dead horse's reward scale to contain a performance-related element.
5. Suspending the horse's access to the executive grassy meadow until performance targets are met.
6. Make the horse work late shifts and weekends.
7. Scrutinize and take back a percentage of the horse's past 12 months expenses payments.
8. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
9. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
10. Convene a dead horse productivity improvement workshop.
11. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
12. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
13. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
14. Outsourcing the management of the dead horse*.
15. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
16. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
17. Conduct a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
18. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
19. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And the always highly effective...
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory or managerial position.
*: we are liking this one very much, and would be pleased for bidding on a contract if anyone is being interested. - gupta.
edited:
i will come in at 10% less than whatever the guptas bid. - akash.
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- Aug 17, 2003
- Messages
- 3,409
bit like whale meat then i guess.
if you like THICK steaks on the barby they do nicely.
the neighbours get a bit upset when you clean one out on the front driveway tho. i don't see why, doesn't everyone clean a 100 ft. marine mammal there? too big to hang from a tree or fit in the garage.
and no, i do not go whale hunting, blue and millie found it flopping about on the beach and drug it home. little devils. they always do that. did i mention the african elephant?
if you like THICK steaks on the barby they do nicely.
the neighbours get a bit upset when you clean one out on the front driveway tho. i don't see why, doesn't everyone clean a 100 ft. marine mammal there? too big to hang from a tree or fit in the garage.
and no, i do not go whale hunting, blue and millie found it flopping about on the beach and drug it home. little devils. they always do that. did i mention the african elephant?
What breed are blue and millie and do they attack Landsharks?
mmm dolphins!
http://www.bizjournals.com/southflorida/stories/2009/07/13/daily16.html Its finally landshark stadium.
mmm dolphins!
http://www.bizjournals.com/southflorida/stories/2009/07/13/daily16.html Its finally landshark stadium.
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you know i bet every cat for a hundred miles is converging
on that place
on that place
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blue and millie:
retired professional track & field stars. millie (full name balto millenium) raced professionally in dublin before coming to the UK, where she retired in 2004. blue (bonnie blue flag) chased rabbits for a living before retiring... know as 40 mph couch potatoes, greyhounds when puppies are also referred to as 'landsharks' - they are holy terrors.
millie likes to providfe security during photo sessions for my antique knives.
blue provides security for the front door.
they can be a bit scary
but are really very gentle with people, adults and kids.
cats are another matter. i do suspect they drug that whale all the way back to the house to lure out kittynextdoor to his doom.
kittynextdoor used to come into our front garden, sit on the stoop and groom himself where he could be seen by blue thru the front door. drove blue nuts. blue dug thru the carpet and part way thru the concrete under it trying to get kittynextdoor.
a few days after i got millie, we had returned from our walk, blue went inside, millie followed after i took off their leashes. as i did millies, kiitynextdoor thought it was safe to jump down into out garden, millie heard the jump, turned and grabbed the cat which was about 5 yards away before it could react and escape. greyhounds reach full speed in 2 strides. i learned that that day. so did the cat. i managed to get her to drop it before she damaged him permanently, but he had grass stains on his face for a few days, and i imagine some neat bruises. i told ladynextdoor, she said it served him right for jumping in there in the first place.
kittynextdoor is not all that bright. the summer before he'd jumped in thru my open bathroom window (1st floor) as i was sitting upstairs in the small bedroom/office/doggyroom typing at the pc like now, he waltzed into view on the landing at the top of the stairs just outside. blue was on the bed behind me. i managed to jump up slam the door behind me as i chased kittynextdoor downstairs and out the front door. i think it has a suicide gene too many. when i got back upstairs blue did look a bit perplexed. he smelled kat when he went out of the bedroom tho, and looked for the cat for a couple of days just to make sure it was not still there.
as you can see, they have very little fashion sense:
ah, found a picture of kittynextdoor:
retired professional track & field stars. millie (full name balto millenium) raced professionally in dublin before coming to the UK, where she retired in 2004. blue (bonnie blue flag) chased rabbits for a living before retiring... know as 40 mph couch potatoes, greyhounds when puppies are also referred to as 'landsharks' - they are holy terrors.
millie likes to providfe security during photo sessions for my antique knives.
blue provides security for the front door.
they can be a bit scary
but are really very gentle with people, adults and kids.
cats are another matter. i do suspect they drug that whale all the way back to the house to lure out kittynextdoor to his doom.
kittynextdoor used to come into our front garden, sit on the stoop and groom himself where he could be seen by blue thru the front door. drove blue nuts. blue dug thru the carpet and part way thru the concrete under it trying to get kittynextdoor.
a few days after i got millie, we had returned from our walk, blue went inside, millie followed after i took off their leashes. as i did millies, kiitynextdoor thought it was safe to jump down into out garden, millie heard the jump, turned and grabbed the cat which was about 5 yards away before it could react and escape. greyhounds reach full speed in 2 strides. i learned that that day. so did the cat. i managed to get her to drop it before she damaged him permanently, but he had grass stains on his face for a few days, and i imagine some neat bruises. i told ladynextdoor, she said it served him right for jumping in there in the first place.
kittynextdoor is not all that bright. the summer before he'd jumped in thru my open bathroom window (1st floor) as i was sitting upstairs in the small bedroom/office/doggyroom typing at the pc like now, he waltzed into view on the landing at the top of the stairs just outside. blue was on the bed behind me. i managed to jump up slam the door behind me as i chased kittynextdoor downstairs and out the front door. i think it has a suicide gene too many. when i got back upstairs blue did look a bit perplexed. he smelled kat when he went out of the bedroom tho, and looked for the cat for a couple of days just to make sure it was not still there.
as you can see, they have very little fashion sense:
ah, found a picture of kittynextdoor:
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third pic up you know last time i saw a set of teeth like that was when the wife yawned
ive never been the same since
ive never been the same since
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A R-E-A-L-L-Y Big CHO...
Mark
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I've heard this phrase in Texas, shortened to, "When the horse dies, get off." Maybe we picked it up from the Comanches.
As far as the rest of it goes, however, can I share this with my Dad? Being both retired from business, and critical of politics, he might find it amusing.