Blue Bottle has some fun descriptions.
https://bluebottlecoffee.com/store/coffee
Hayes Valley: "The shots are gorgeous achingly heavy with voluptuous red-brown crema, and the silky, somewhat dangerous-looking viscosity of a power-steering stop-leak product once used on our (now departed) heroically battered 1983 Peugeot. In milk, it tastes like chocolate ovaltine. This is the most Brahmsian espresso we have. Brooding and autumnal, it is a coffee to mourn the passing of time."
17 ft. ceiling: " If the Hayes Valley espresso can be like consuming a volume of In Search of Lost Time in liquid form, then the 17ft ceiling is like flipping through the New Yorker edifying without being taxing."
Giant steps: "If it were any heavier-bodied, you could pour it on pancakes."
Opascope: "beautiful tool for projecting handwriting and finely rendered artwork onto a larger surface. We could blab for hours about its quaint design, its bulky contours, its place in our childhood classrooms. It yields an effervescent shot, packed with stripes of tropicalia"