Favorite Quotes from non-knife people.

tacdriver22mk2 said:
logic FTW

oh and i have had the who are you gonna shank/stab (i forget which) when i accidentally brought my MULTITOOL to summercamp ... really
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This hasn't happened in a while, but I tend to ask these people if they often have random thoughts about harming people.

Partly because flipping the question around is a valid teaching tool. Partly to piss them off. And partly because I really worry about people who instantly think about stabbing people whenever they see a blade.


FortyTwoBlades said:
A few years back I worked a short stint at Lowe's and I got into a conversation about axes with a an old timer who used to do a lot of forestry survey for logging crews and he told me about the old Collins machete that he always used and how he figured that it must have "lost all the carbon by now" and that he'd have to "re-carburize it." I asked him to explain it to me, and he told me with a straight face that steel lost carbon when it got old and he'd take his machete and heat it red hot with a torch and then sprinkle borax on it to put carbon back in it. A living case of old, nearly mythic, superstition with edged tools. I just smiled and said "that's very interesting!" I owed him for the excellent conversation and he was clearly set in his ways. :o:p
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The thing that fascinates me about this story is that borax does not have any carbon in it.
 
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While showing my AG Russell Acies to a friend at work (office). A lady in the cubicle a couple of desks away stands up and pokes her nose into my friends cubicle to see what we are looking at. When she sees the knife, she says loudly "Is that a weapon??!!"

We have made fun of her ever since - she is not anti-knife, and in fact she has a vic classic on her key-chain. Not sure why she blurted that sentence out, but that is the favorite quote.

best

mqqn
 
Before knifes had clips I used to carry a 4" folder in my back pocket, once while paying for something at the parts store I laid it on the counter as I paid and the casher says "nice knife" as he reached for it and opened in without asking. He then runs his thumb length ways down the blade to test the edge, as blood is running down his arm he is calling me a nut job for having such a sharp blade, it's seldom the payback is so gratifying, or so quick.
 
Slow7 said:
Before knifes had clips I used to carry a 4" folder in my back pocket, once while paying for something at the parts store I laid it on the counter as I paid and the casher says "nice knife" as he reached for it and opened in without asking. He then runs his thumb length ways down the blade to test the edge, as blood is running down his arm he is calling me a nut job for having such a sharp blade, it's seldom the payback is so gratifying, or so quick.
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you know with my recent vast improvement in sharpening ability (tp slicing fairly easily) i am now going to think and HOPE PRAY E V E R Y time someone else touches one of my knives that this will happen and i will tell you this now i will laugh and laugh and laugh and go on my merry way
 
Whenever a task needs a knife and I say "I have a knife," my girlfriend replies "of course you do." She believes my supply of them is infinite.
 
My father-in-law, a man who built a three stall garage with a hydraulic lift for his two 1930 Model A Fords and the absolute plethora of memorabilia that accompanies them, said to me upon hearing how many Spyderco's I had in my collection "Huh, I don't understand you guys and your knives."

:D
 
Personally, I like the quotes from professed knife people better:

"I tried to pry open an old can of paint with my (fill in blank with maker of choice), and guess what; the tip broke off. This knife is a piece of (fill in blank with profanity of choice)."

"I smashed this handle between 2 boulders, and then beat it on an anvil with a hammer, and guess what; it broke into pieces. This handle material is weak."

"The lock failed, and all I did was put all my weight on it."

"I did the spine-whack test."

"It won't cut paper."

"It won't cut cardboard."

"It won't cut a cigarette box."

"If it's not made in the U.S.A., it's junk."
 
Everybody @ work knows I'm a knife guy so they always show me their new knives. I hear things like "check out my new knife, it's a Winchester! The steel in this blade is awesome!" I just try to be polite and say something positive about the knife but it makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time it happens.
 
My favorite quote from non-knife people is "hey, you got a knife?". It's even funnier when the building maintenance guys ask me (no joke, they've asked me on three different occasions in the past four months)!
 
Talley1013 said:
Everybody @ work knows I'm a knife guy so they always show me their new knives. I hear things like "check out my new knife, it's a Winchester! The steel in this blade is awesome!" I just try to be polite and say something positive about the knife but it makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time it happens.
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Yeah, I get that too. Guy at my work who liked to make fun of my Spydercos for being Chinese made junk knives. The ones I usually carry are made in golden, colorado, or Seki City, Japan.... Then he shows off his new S&W knife. haha. Then he upped the ante, spent like $65 at Cabelas on a "titanium nitride" knife, with real chintzy looking carbon fiber scales (not sure if they're real or not). He keeps telling me how well this titanium knife of his holds it's edge. And how it's made in either Australia, or Austria, because it says "AUS8" on the blade :foot: He also told me it needed to be sharpened, but I probably couldn't sharpen the titanium... I don't have the heart to tell him that he has a taiwanese made knife, with a lower end mediocre steel, and that titanium nitride is just the blade coating....

Another guy at my work loves the epitome of mall ninja/tacticool knives. Recently I noticed he would carry a different knife every day, and I asked about them. Apparently he bought them by the box. Spent about $100 and got two dozen or so. All really tacticool looking, some are blatant ripoffs of quality designs. All have flimsy feeling liner locks and most likely pot metal for blades.... Oh and this is the same guy who will tell me how all sorts of knives are illegal, and he knows because he went to Juvie for carrying illegal knives. He tells me the width of your palm is the legal blade length. Throwing knives are illegal. Sharpening the spine is illegal, etc... haha. I just smile and nod.
 
Joben said:
The thing that fascinates me about this story is that borax does not have any carbon in it.
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Yeah I was very confused by the whole affair. :p

Another one I always like--

Them: "I don't need a knife"

Me: "What do you open boxes with?"

Them: "Scissors"

Me: "You realize scissors are two knives connected with a pivot, right?" :p

Them: "..."
 
Wow, I don't hear any of the quotes I've read in this thread.
Fortunately living in Northern NY most people hunt and are into all sorts of outdoors activities. I'd guess everyone carries a knife of some sort.
Working in a paper mill, everyone wears a belt knife supplied by the company...before you start woohoo'ing they are very inexpensive, steel blades with a basic wooden handle with a leather sheath. They work fine for slicing through the edge of a roll of paper to cull out scrap, etc. We're also supplied with a 10"x 1"ish dry sharpening stone...it has a wooden handle, soft and coarse material and while putting on a good "working" edge is not what any of us use for our "real" knives. It also wears rather quickly though a dozen guys using it every other day or so, or sometimes several times a day on a "bad" day does not help. You'd be surprised at how quickly paper will take a sharp knife blade to a barely able to spread butter edge.

No one is surprised by my little BM585 and I get a lot of stories about a "first knife", "gift knife" from an old timer, etc.
It is cool.
 
I work road construction, cutting a piece of silt fence the other day, and my superintendant is having a time with his buck 110 knock off. So i pull out the millie, sliced what i needed to (and silt fence would dull a vorpal blade, no kidding)

Boss - 'what do u need that pocket machete for'
Me - 'cause urs was dull....'
 
"we just came from metal detectors and body searches in the offices, the train station, the mall, and all the time you were carrying that?"

a delica 4 vg-10 frn clipped to my pant top, behind the belt.
 
"It's so big and heavy!" My gf referring to holding the benchmade bedlam that is 7oz.
 
"How do you close this?"

"Oh! He's got a shank! Are you gonna shank someone?"

My favorite and most often heard in a work environment:
Them: "If you pulled that knife on me, I'd just shoot you."
Me: "The difference being that I already have this on my person."

They just don't seem to realize the absurdity of pulling out imaginary guns based on the idea that I am going to suddenly flip out and use my pocket sized cutting tool to try and attack them.
 
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