Wow man, this is exactly why I read threads on BF. I know all I need to know about knives at this point... but posts like this, priceless. Man, that's wild stuff brother!
You have no idea. We're from Alabama . Wife's dad is a redneck alcoholic , she never saw him growing up much,and she wants me to go meet him she hadn't seen him for years.
So we go deep in the heart of the redneck ghetto. I see this yard with old rusty cars in the yard and no joke towels on a clothes line thay read " property of our local hospital". As we get closer I see a group lf people most in cut off blue Jean shorts and shirtless sitting in lawn chairs drinking beer in the front yard.
We pull up and I see this fat man woth a mullet that looks just like Travis tritt. Wife says that's my Dad , I reply ahh hell.
We get out and the smell of alcohol ,body odor and car engine oil fill the air.
Hey sweetie, wife's dad says to my my wife (gf at the time). Hi daddy she says and she introduces me .I say hi nice to meet you and extend my hand . I'm met with eyes being cut and a harsh spit of chewing tobacco, but no handshake in return.
So after just sitting there for about an hour hearing country music on the radio and getting eating alive by bugs one of the men says he boy , why don't you head to the beer store, we cant drive.
I say alright no problem ,but excuse my self to the treeline first to use the bathroom. I hear the Dad saying he's gonna ride etc as I'm doing my business.
As I'm walking back the dad gets in my car and cranks it up, drunk as can be. I'm asking him to get out cause he's been drinking and I'm telling him I'll drive . He mumbles something and takes off in the car ,burning the tires as he leaves.
I hear him raising hell in my car for about 2 minutes then he's gone. About 25 minutes later he comes back same thing dogging my car up and down the road.
He pulls in and my wife is pissed . She's yelling at her daddy I'm so mad I'm shaken and the rednecks are cracking up thinking it's the funniest thing ever.
I thought I heard him call me a name and that was it . I dropped the f bomb to him and he said well let's go then. So we are about to do this when his friend pulls s pistol telling me to back up.
Now drunk rednecks and guns is something I'm used to so I wasn't scared I was more mad than anything . Seeing that little derringer got me even madder so I retrieved a full size glock from the glovebox.
Her dad is still trying to come at me and everyone is telling me to drop my gun, which I wouldn't do because I had a gun on me , and I couldn't leave because all the rednecks were between me and my car door at this time. Somewhere in there rhe famous I'll bite your damn nipple off boy got thrown around.
That was over 10 years ago and me and the man finally made peace after we were forced to be in the room together all day for a funeral. We laugh about the nipple bite to this day.
