Here are my thoughts on what will be relevant in the coming year. That doesn’t mean that my thoughts are actually relevant now — or at any other time of the year — so feel free to ignore them.
1.) I see steel as being the most common material for knife blades that aren’t made of something else. I believe Imodium will be the hot new steel, with a marketing slogan of “Get it out of your system.” Imodium will become the new infi, because it stains less, while keeping you on edge longer.
2.) I see common “V” grinds becoming increasingly popular on knives that don’t have a scandi, convex, or some other grind. Maybe on some of those, too. The daily grind will remain popular with folks who like having an income.
3.) Al Gore will claim invention of both the knife and bushcrafting, and then claim that our fire starting practice and campfires are responsible for global warming. There will be a book, a movie and a powerpoint presentation on the subject.
4.) The way the economy is, the trend will be towards less expensive knives, with people competing to out do each other in how little they spend. Knives from outlets such as Toys ‘R’ Us will be immensely popular. They can’t actually be used for anything, but they’ll look good sitting in your safe. An entirely new cult will form around these wonders and, if you don’t have one, the in crowd will sneer at you. Their secret group greeting will be “You can tell it’s swell... it’s (they won’t tell you the last word).”
5.) The trend this year will be toward knives that are smaller than the bigger knives, except in those cases where someone wants a knife bigger than the smaller ones. Our esteemed makers will be quick to respond, producing incredible knives in those lengths. One of them may already be working on a new material for scales made out of compressed mashed potatoes. When available, it will become an instant success... until the first rain.
6.) Speaking of mashed potatoes, someone will discover that dry instant mashed potatoes make wonderful tinder, if soaked in kerosene overnight. Well, maybe not: the experiment is being conducted at a secret location in the North woods by several forum members who took a bottle of good Scotch out with them. I have it on good authority that the proportion of kerosene to potato flakes is the key. Stay tuned for a breakthrough.
7.) Machetes will become an even hotter item this year among those who buy machetes. Strangely, those who don’t buy or use machetes won’t buy or use them this year, either, until they realize that machetes are the in thing, at which point they’ll all rush out to buy one. In addition to the 23,000,000 styles of machetes currently available, six more will be added to the “must have” list due to the efforts of our own makers who are participating in the current machete build-off.
8.) It’s a well known fact— among those who know the fact well — that the term “Bushcraft” was originally coined to refer to a small marsupial with a bushy tail and big teeth used to cut shelter poles. The politically correct crowd will force us to change the term to something they consider more appropriate, since they frown on the use of small marsupials. Their recommended term will be “Front lawn skills,” since they also frown on anyone actually going into the woods.
9.) In keeping with trends for innovative design, someone will design a folding machete cleverly disguised as a harmonica. The claim will be that this may be carried openly without causing sheeple to faint will be disproved as soon as the carrier is asked to “give us a tune, then.”
10.) I’m going to go out on a limb here, and predict that we forumite knife knuts will still be enjoying blades and outdoor skills throughout the year. I know that it’s hard to imagine, but we like this stuff.
In the interest of brevity, I’ll stop here. The only other prediction I can make is that I won’t be any less nutty in the coming year.