As the founder of the fraternity, or at the very least, the schmuck who came up with the acronym, it is my duty to update the brotherhood with some changes. With the Dean’s recent change to the student code of conduct, I regret to inform you all that we will have to move the chapter off campus. We may no longer wear the letters in public and we cannot discuss official brotherhood business in the campus center any longer. The fraternity mission statement has been updated with the first two rules of Fight Club, but only the first two, because after one and two, you don’t need the rest unless you die, and then you have a name, but I digress. Off campus, in the shadows, it is fair game, but on campus, we are on double secret probation. So, I expect all brothers to be true to what they are and find a dark, damp spot and bury themselves in it and keep a low profile.
Remember, Goonies never die, and neither will the brotherhood.