So, it turns out all the hype about terrorists coming up through our southern border is true, and, unfortunately, I have been abducted and am being held hostage by some really bad dudes. Don't know where they're from (or why they allowed me access to a computer), but listening to them reminds me of a scene from Team America. As a condition of my release they are demanding three things: some nuclear bomb codes, several million dollars in unmarked bills, and an indestructible ~3" fixed blade knife suitable for carrying around on a daily basis. I have secured the first two of these ransom items (I have a buddy with a Commodore 64 and a modem who can hack into the Pentagon, and a wealthy elderly widow mistress with nothing better to do with her money), but the third appears to be the hardest to come by. Seeing as my life (and, by extension, democracy) depends upon it, I would be grateful if anyone has an EDC2 in 3V they're willing to part with before it's too late. Thanks in advance for your support of freedom and a better future for all mankind!
Oh, and in case you are spiritual and on the fence, a vision came to me in a dream and told me this was really the only way to stave off Revelation, the Apocalypse, Ragnarok, the Infinity Stones, Sauron, the Big Rip, and all the other end-of-days scenarios the Earth faces, so...now's the time.
I'll pay for shipping.