Snark it, Snark it Good

[crimsonfalcon07]

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days..
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m.. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.


--Found that one today, and was amused.

 

[james terrio]

Gotta stay fit enough to get away from this madness.

Puh-leeze

Guitar-geek stuff doesn't sound weird. Reading about the condition of your nipples on the other hand...

Sorry 'bout that. Don't play innocent, sweetheart...

Hey you like Buckethead don't ya??

He's allright... I sincerely admire his skill and talent, but it's just not my thang. I'm all about a much more percussive picking "style". Basically, I'm a frustrated drummer who plays melodies and chords with a heavy hand on the guit-fiddle. Surprisingly, that actually works out pretty well when it comes to leads... just bash 'em in the freaking teeth with every single note and bend. Chicks dig it, and men stand in awe.

Do NOT believe Derek and Pointy when they get drunk and start accusing me of being Buckethead in disguise. :grumpy:

I play with heavy picks on heavy strings, tuned down to "D-standard" at least... And despite being naturally ugly as a train full of greazy chicken guts that ran into a zombie parade, I've never hidden my face from the public, and never will.

Between Terrio's hard nipples and Biscuit drawing shave lines on WW's balls, this place has gone down a strange trail..

Frankly, I'm a little hurt that you forgot the dolphin-smooth thing. Jeepers, I don't admit that stuff to just anyone, y'know. Seriously, I thought this was a place where we could all truly be ourselves and be open about that kinda thing, like y'know. I'm a little bit disappointed. :grumpy:

But my nipples are still hard as diamonds and I'm still smooth as glass!!!

 

[cbwoods67]

lol...

Whatever you do, don't rub your nipples or you may cut your fingers.

 

[james terrio]

Takes a long, long time to build up callouses like these...

 

[cbwoods67]

Takes a long, long time to build up callouses like these...

Lotion helps.. If ya know wadimeen.

 

[cbwoods67]

So in other, less homo-erotic news, I am going to try my hand at semi-drunken cookery. I usually desire pizza at times like this, but nobody will deliver to the boonies and I am out of sauce. So I am going to try shredded mozzarella impregnated breadsticks. No matter how it turns out, they will be delicious.

Dough is rising now. Pics soon.

 

[james terrio]

Take notes. That sounds pretty darn cool, if it works.


If it doesn't work... well hey, there's a lotta worse experiments a drunk could pursue at that this hour (don't ask me how I know). And like you said, pretty much the worst thing that can happen is bad toast with burnt cheese... which isn't actually all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

 

[james terrio]

Now, if you pass out and burn the damn house down,,, that's different. Don't do that.

 

[worldwood]

So in other, less homo-erotic news, I am going to try my hand at semi-drunken cookery. I usually desire pizza at times like this, but nobody will deliver to the boonies and I am out of sauce. So I am going to try shredded mozzarella impregnated breadsticks. No matter how it turns out, they will be delicious.

Dough is rising now. Pics soon.

:thumbup: cheese and bread.... how could it not be good

 

[The Warrior]

This took some time. Not the best, but I'm satisfied with the way it turned out:

 

[worldwood]

Yep another sweet one!!

I hope your keeping a saved folder of all these images you make... im sure you are, but that would make a great portfolio.

 

[cbwoods67]

I didn't take notes, but they turned out damn good. Although not as cheesy as I imagined. I should keep string cheese on hand for evening like this. Topping them with parmesan and garlic butter was a fantastic idea.

ETA: apologies for the glare. I was trying to shed some light on the situation, but perhaps a spotlight was too much.

 

[The Warrior]

I save them all on my spare hatd drive.

 

[cbwoods67]

Nice work Dubz. That stuff is way over my head.

 

[worldwood]

Nothing to see here.

 

[james terrio]

I didn't take notes, but they turned out damn good. Although not as cheesy as I imagined. I should keep string cheese on hand for evening like this. Topping them with parmesan and garlic butter was a fantastic idea.

That looks pretty darn tasty, but for goodness' sakes, be careful! There seems to be some sort of knife nearby. Regardless, parm and g/b is good on almost anything... you can't really go far wrong there.

Also, string cheese is really bad for any kind of melting/cooking purposes. It's mostly meant to be... well... string cheese for nibbling on. Cause it's tough and... stringy. Turns out, they make it that way on purpose. A shocking development, I know... but there it is.

 

[worldwood]

mornin fellas.

Tracking says my Daizee Dashi will be here today

 

[The Warrior]

Nice work Dubz. That stuff is way over my head.

Thanks man. I was clueless when I first started as well. Started Googling tutorials, and the more I used it, the more it made sense. In all honesty, I only use a fraction of the program's capabilities. A lot of it is still over my head as well.

 

[gmoneyluv]

Morning folks! Enjoying my first cup of coffee and planning the day.

What's on everyone's agenda?

I'll likely be doing some writing with this new Unicomp keyboard that I picked it up when we were driving through Lexington. Ok, so I'm gonna geek out a bit. This thing is made in the US (Lexington) and uses the IBM buckling spring construction (distinct clicky-clacky sound when typing) that IBM invented in the 80s. So far this keyboard is a joy to use. One year warranty, tons of tactile feedback and if something goes wrong after the first year, they'll repair it for $30. This last feature really sold me as I tend to mash on the keys and destroy keyboards.

End of my keyboard geekfest.

 

[gmoneyluv]

Thanks man. I was clueless when I first started as well. Started Googling tutorials, and the more I used it, the more it made sense. In all honesty, I only use a fraction of the program's capabilities. A lot of it is still over my head as well.

Gimp and Photoshop are loaded with features most of the graphic designers I know never use or understand. Good work on this Dubz, and good for you for tackling this program.