I don’t have any excuses this time, or any reason to try and hide or run. I want to make everything right and then request to be banned as clearly I cannot handle myself. I am completely in the wrong here and as I’ve dug myself into my hole, I’ve continued to try and dig myself out by digging myself deeper. I only request that as soon as this is made right, I get my rightful banishment and my name removed. I’d appreciate the opportunity to clear my name by making things right. I’ve wasted time and energy and its time for moving on. I’ve not only shamed myself, but my family in this and they do not deserve the repercussions. I can’t explain why I’ve done what I did, or why I’ve led myself down this path. I was raised better and know better.
I want everyone to know what happened. I sold 4 or 5 knives on the forums and had no problems with any of them. Lone_Wolfe purchased the knife and for some reason I delayed in shipping it and she was transferred to another base. At which point, she forwarded me her address and I was supposed to ship it. I even printed out the shipping label once and somehow didn’t ship it. All I did was make up excuses and lies to try and cover up what has gone wrong. And that’s what I tried to do again this time.
A more personal side to the story is I got totally entangled in lying about a lot of things then not only to Lone_Wolfe, but to friends and family as well. Long story short, I got caught up and my family and I had a very long conversation where everything came out. Except the fact that I stole from Lone_Wolfe. My aunt then somehow came across it and emailed it to my father. At which point I lied to him about it again. Though, after uncovering just about every lie I ever told, I felt horrible about the fact that I was starting down the road of lying again.
I then sat through the homily at church on Sunday and of course it was about forgiveness and how a person is always forgiven by God no matter what he/she does, but what keeps them locked down is the fact that they never can forgive themselves. I want to forgive myself and I cannot hold onto this any longer.
Currently, my paypal balance is ~380 dollars in the red due to the chargeback from Lone_Wolfe’s credit card and I still have a one of a kind blue Umnumzaan. I will send it to its rightful owner and take this as a lesson learned. I hope that I can seek a small amount of forgiveness and at least have my personal information removed. Everything else deserves to stay and should stay. If Lone_Wolfe can confirm to me her address has not changed, the knife will go in the mail tomorrow shipped as fast as possible.
** Lone_Wolfe gave me her latest address and delivery confirmation information has been sent.
Also, I kindly ask spark to remove my false email with my business information on it or, edit out my name and website information and leave the rest as a lesson learned. Basically, I know my reputation is shamed here. Whether the Mods ban me or not, I have a negative reputation, all I ask is that when my name is google searched, all of this doesnt show up in the future because for anyone who actually knows me, this is not who I am.