Tradewater

He was once stabbed in the chest with a knife. The knife started bleeding.
 
Every 10 years Tradewater goes into hibernation for the winter and generates a cocoon made of Black and Tan bottles.
 
Tradewater has to use extreme caution when executing his famous pose. Because his "knife hand," when extended, has been know to bend trees out of his path of travel and part rivers and streams. Could you imagine what would happen if he pointed directly at you? Yuck.
 
This thread is being brought to you by the smooth, non filling taste of Bud Select 55.
It's what real men drink.
Drink up lumberjacks!



 
For Halloween Trade hands out punches in the neck and pennies! So far no one has eaten a penny though, and that makes him sad.
 
For breakfast, Tradewater consumes the souls of the damned.

For lunch he has jerky.
 
Friday night the wind was bad enough Mrs Trade got hit in the head with a tent pole.
Saturday night Trade's snores were so forceful the tent stayed up.
 
Tradewater leaves teeth under his pillow for the Toothfairy, just not his own.
 
TradeWater once sat down for dinner with some friends.
This event is now widely recognized as the last supper.

Police officers, firefighters and super heros all want to be TradeWater when they grow up.

TradeWater is currently suing the writers of the hit TV show Law and Order because they are trademarked names for his right and left legs. Kickin @$$ an takin names!
 
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Tradewater once brushed his teeth with Tom's of Maine toothpaste.
He immediately walked to Maine and punched Tom in the face.
 
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