Tradewater

[1066vik]

Tradewater is the best man at every wedding he's ever attended.

and a few that he hasn't.

 

[Jonny1280]

and a few that he hasn't.

That just goes without saying.
He also eats the first piece of cake at weddings.

 

[ac700wildcat]

Tradewater makes onions cry.

 

[DerekH]

Much like an alligator, he can fully digest a turtle shell.

 

[Guyon]

You've seen rabbit fur in coyote scat? Well, tradewater just craps out the entire rabbit.

 

[DerekH]

You've seen rabbit fur in coyote scat? Well, tradewater just craps out the entire rabbit.

And it's still alive when it drops out bewildered and confused!

 

[dresnor]

If a fool falls in the woods and there is no one around to hear him jibba jabba Tradewater can still pity him.

Jeremy

 

[GarnetandBlack]

Tradewater was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.

 

[Murphnuge]

This was on page 3, halfway down. Looked interesting, give it a read.

 

[Jonny1280]

Tradewater uses live sharks instead of surf boards.

 

[DerekH]

Tradewater's spirit animal is a Caterpillar 797, capable of hauling over 350 tons.

 

[Jonny1280]

Tradewater plays ping pong with live grenades.

When he sneezes, women lose their virginity.

Tradewater took a leak on a giant redwood in Northern California. People can drive their cars through it now.

Tradewater has never played tic-tac-toe. He plays tic-tac-punch you in the face.

 

[Tdhurl1103]

Out of awe and extreme fear, Chuck Norris cannot maintain eye contact with Tradewater.

 

[Jonny1280]

Here's a rarely seen portrait of Tradewater back in his drunken, bare knuckle boxing days.
He made people call him Abe Lincoln.
If they didn't... he'd rip off his shirt, chug a Bud Select 55, and punch their face and groin at the same time.

 

[Hunter Sharp]

Here's a rarely seen portrait of Tradewater back in his drunken, bare knuckle boxing days.
He made people call him Abe Lincoln.
If they didn't... he'd rip off his shirt, chug a Bud Select 55, and punch their face and groin at the same time.

Bud select? Or Black and Tan?..... Actually I heard it was cobra venom and whiskey! And the blood of his last victim!

 

[1066vik]

Trade drinks Bud Select 55 to make it better.
The byproduct is a favorite source for rehydration by a certain TV personality due to the added nutrients...

 

[NixKustoms]

Isn't Tradewater where the rivers meet?

 

[DerekH]

Tradewater is immortal. Even threads named after him can't die.

 

[Tankerwolf]

Tradewater is immortal. Even threads named after him can't die.

That's because there used to be more than 20 of him until he cut the others heads off and absorbed their power.

He also put humpty dumpty back together again.............then ate him.

 

[GarnetandBlack]

Trade's coffee table once stumped its leg on his toe.