Witty Retorts for the Sheeple

C

CanDo

Joined
Mar 10, 2006
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So I was just reading this thread and thought that with all the sheeple afraid of knives, we should have some fun.

Tapedeck74 says
You just have to have your witty retorts at the ready.
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Let's share and come up with some witty responses to people who are shocked by our weapons, hunting knives, and rambo knives.
 
Let's not and say we did...lol. Every sarcastic remark just fuels the needs of people who are afraid of things to help pass laws forbidding them. Doesn't matter if it is knives, guns, motorcycles...anything at all. Our goal should be to educate, not alienate.
 
Some people say it is better to educate than alienate, I say, "Why not both?"

Wit and education need not be mutually exclusive. Perfect example,

Jos said:
True story:

Some people are sitting around a table enjoying a meal. Then this girl needs to open a package of cheese. One guy takes out his Spyderco folder to help her. This girl starts yelling : "which civilized person carries a BIG knife like that". The guy puts his knife away and answers: "which civilized person is going to BITE open her packet of cheese?"
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If there are others around -In a loud voice ' You've gone off your meds again ? You really need to be careful about that'.
 
Here's one...

"This little string cutter isn't a big knife. I'll bring my BIG knife next time!"

Or, say this...

"You know, even Peter Pan carries a knife!"
 
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"It's just a tool, like a pair of scissors. I don't see why you have this weapon fixation."

I've also found that reminding the NKP that it is not the knife but the person using it yields varying results depending on what you look like.
 
It would make things much easier if the subject person doesn't wear a shirt with a collar to get in the way of the work to be done.
 
With guns or knives Ive always said the same thing. Freud says that a fear of weapons is a sign of sexual immaturity. I dont know if its true, but it works.
 
This small blade is to compensate my big... :p

I usually say "If I wasn't allowed to carry it. I wouldn't"
 
I usually say "You should hear what the voices in my head are telling me to do with this knife!"
 
Depending on the person, if they make a comment about it being an evil weapon that could kill someone, this might be good: "Why do you feel that I would be capable of harming anyone? What have I done to justify this fear of yours?"

You could also add "Or are you merely projecting your own thoughts and intentions on me?"
 
USSR said:
I've heard that in more than one place. I believe it's an actual quote.
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A bit of internet research seems to indicate it's not an actual quote, but that his works can be interpreted to reach that conclusion. I'll have fun using this line :)
 
I threw this one out and it was the end of the conversation:

Person: Why do you carry a knife?
Me: My question for you is, why don't you carry one?
Person: haha
End of conversation

Another one when asked about me carrying a weapon:
Me: "So, the only reason you use knives is to stab people?"
 
Question: "Why do you carry a knife?"


Answer A (to be used if the person is honestly curious): "To cut things obviously."

Answer B (to be used if the person is just an anti-knife jerk looking for an argument): "Because it sexually excites me! You should try it....beats the heck out of viagra!"
 
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Nice one, Kaizen.
If you use your SAK but have, say, a Buck 110;
"That's not a knife. THIS is a knife"
If someone asks you why you are carrying a knife, there are two options:
1. Zombies, vampires, and werewolves, oh my!
2. To cut stuff with.
The Freud quote is good.
I like whoever said, "If I couldn't carry one, I wouldn't be."
 
"The same reason a person might carry a pen: because I have regular need of this tool."

Or "Because cell phones don't cut open packaging/boxes."
 
like i just said in another thread after they asked why i need to carry such a weapon around (byrdie lark), i replied it wasn't a weapon but a knife

once they were puzzled by the knife not being a weapon, i asked if they usually eat with fork and weapon then

it seemed to work, but the sheeple keeped looking very dissaproving
 
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