Witty Retorts for the Sheeple

The best reply came from my grandfather, I'll paraphrase here: "convicts do worse things with dull spoons than I could ever do with a pocketknife. It ain't about the knife, it's the user." My grandfather was a couselor at McNiel Island penitentiary in the 1950's-60's. I figure he probably knew what he was talking about.

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Practical Use said:
Why reply?
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Yup, +1 on that one. If the sheeple do push the issue, well, here's a response from another thread here in the forums about awkward knife moments, "your steak knives at home are larger than my knife here."

thx - cpr
 
The problem is when you explain why you're carrying and using a particular blade and person accepts your explanation, but then asks "but what about the other four?" :foot:
 
Generally, it goes something like this...

Sheeple- "Rustle, rustle, wrestle, errr, mmmmpf, uuuugh, mmmmph, rustle, rustle."

Me- "Need a hand? I've got a pocket knife right here."

Sheeple- "Why do you have a pocket knife?"

Me- The sound of footsteps as I walk away...

Followed by more fantic rustling.

If I am being questioned about personal use, then I reply with "I've got it so that I can cut/open [whatever it is that I am cutting/opening]."
 
elkins45 said:
I usually say "You should hear what the voices in my head are telling me to do with this knife!"
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:D:D:D:D:D:thumbup:
Fatlady255Flmao-vi.gif
 
If we are at a party I sometimes suggest comparing the size of my carry knife to the knives in easy reach in the kitchen.
 
A variation on my sig line is what I use when someone voices concern: You wouldn't be complaining about my knife if you knew what I could do to you with a paperback book. Either shuts them up or confuses them, sometimes even both.:cool::thumbup:
 
I just spent a good part of yesterday and almost all of today around people I don't know. I made it a point to take out a knife in front of people and use it to trim a hangnail (nonexistent type). Not only did I not have a single person out of perhaps fifty ask me why I carried a knife, no one as much raised an eyebrow. In a restaurant I used it to cut my steak and the only reaction was a thumbs up from the table next to us. The knife I was carrying was my Mcusta made Browning Ice Storm. 3 people did ask to see it and of those two wanted one and asked where they could find then. (I told the CDNN has the best price) and the third tried to buy mine. I performed this little experiment out of curiosity, I don't know where ya'll live that scaring people is a problem unless you are carrying your Busse Battle Mistress...or constantly doing the mall ninja flying opening of your Balisong...lol.
 
"What are you, stupid or something? You don't know what a knife is for? To cut stuff, duh!!!"
 
Absintheur said:
I just spent a good part of yesterday and almost all of today around people I don't know. I made it a point to take out a knife in front of people and use it to trim a hangnail (nonexistent type). Not only did I not have a single person out of perhaps fifty ask me why I carried a knife, no one as much raised an eyebrow. In a restaurant I used it to cut my steak and the only reaction was a thumbs up from the table next to us. The knife I was carrying was my Mcusta made Browning Ice Storm. 3 people did ask to see it and of those two wanted one and asked where they could find then. (I told the CDNN has the best price) and the third tried to buy mine. I performed this little experiment out of curiosity, I don't know where ya'll live that scaring people is a problem unless you are carrying your Busse Battle Mistress...or constantly doing the mall ninja flying opening of your Balisong...lol.
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You, sir, are extremely lucky. Try cutting your steak with a pocket knife in North Eastern Massachusetts, they'll have the cops come down.
 
A little common sense is always good when you carry a knife, I think most of us can agree. If someone is carrying a nine inch bowie around in the city and they say it's in case they need to cut some string or open a stubborn pack of chewing gum, people are bound to be incredulous, and with good reason.

I try to match my knife carrying to the situation. I always carry a smallish slip joint for the routine jobs and a stout locking folder for emergencies and clam packs. I tend to use the slip joint as the default, as I'd rather not call attention to myself or make people uncomfortable unnecessarily. The locking folder is down in the pocket when I'm at the office, and clipped to the pocket after hours and on the weekend.

Since you typically get the "Why do you carry that knife" question when you've just taken it out to cut something, my typical response is "Because it cuts better than my car key".
 
As a raft guide, it is illegal to NOT carry a knife. ....but I STILL had some dumbass ask the question... I. could. not. believe. it... so I just said "in case I have to kill you." ... idiots suck. even if they are paying me. My general "in society" response is... I could break your arm with one hand... pay attention to human capabilities... not the tools we use."
 
Let me add an alternative in the same vein as your later response.

hlee said:
Generally, it goes something like this...

Sheeple- "Rustle, rustle, wrestle, errr, mmmmpf, uuuugh, mmmmph, rustle, rustle."

Me- "Need a hand? I've got a pocket knife right here."

Sheeple- "Why do you have a pocket knife?"

Me- The sound of footsteps as I walk away...
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*Me-To help people who don't have one.*

Followed by more fantic rustling.

If I am being questioned about personal use, then I reply with "I've got it so that I can cut/open [whatever it is that I am cutting/opening]."
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Greg
 
I like Mary Emerson's story. She was at a car accident where a woman could not get out of her seat-belt. Not one LEO at the scene, had a knife on them. Mary did and that knife cut the seat-belt.
 
Troop said:
Same in New Joisey.
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I've used my own knife at several steakhouses in NJ ie,Outback,Longhorn,Charlie Browns...etc.Never had anyone look at me strange.I'll usually keep it small,like a leek or any other 3" folding blade.The only time I get strange looks and/or stupid questions is when I use it at work.

When I do get the scared looks & stupid questions,I'll usually say "what this lil' thing?"This is the last thing I'd use for SD,never even thought of it as a weapon,til' you suggested it"
 
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You could ask them "Why are you scared of inanimate objects? Does that chair scare you too? Do you have a mental disorder?"

I never really have anyone question me when I am using a knife. If you look like you know what you are doing you would be amazed at what you can get away with.

I have had people question me carrying a concealed weapon and I usually porovide a hypothetical situation. Either they see my reasoning or they prove themselves to be the whiny idiot they are and I ignore them as it is pointless to try and argue with an idiot.
 
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