100,000 Likes Giveaway - Winners Drawn!

Pinemoon said:
A young man took his fiance's hand and gazed proudly at the ring he had placed there a few days before.

"Did all your girlfriends admire it?" he asked, fondly.

"They did better than that," she responded. "Three of them recognized it."


unnamed by Pine Moon, on Flickr
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LOL! :D Very good :D :thumbsup:

T. Erdelyi said:
Congrats on the impending holiday 100K likes, I’d say I was surprised but I wasn’t. There was a new crew of porch people comin’ up. A nicer, friendlier, family safe section of the forum was the result.

What I really liked was that the humor and sincerity was still evident. The true essence of the members wasn’t sacrificed. (Many of the same people here are the ones I run into in the less strict portions of the forum.)

So I was gonna say, “...not an entry” but I would never dishonor one of your giveaways by doin’ that. Besides how could I ever resist the opportunity to tell a story, post a picture or just do what I like most, talk! ;)

Back in 2006 my daughter got an opportunity most kids would kill for. She got to spend 6 weeks in Hungary and traipsing around Western Europe visiting family and friends.

A complete culture shock for a fast food kid used to living an hour from Manhattan, 2 from the shore and 2 from almost anywhere. Now she went to a rural peasant town unlike anything she’d ever seen here in the US.

So 3 weeks into the trip we’re at my cousin’s house. The last time I’d seen him I was my daughter’s age (15) and the gas crisis had just begun here in the USA. We’re sittin’ drinkin’ Hungarian beer, smokin’ American cigarettes, Marlboro Red, box iirc.

My daughter was playing with her cousins and the chickens on the other side of the fence breeding where we were drinkin’. She interrupts the conversation we were having and asks my cousin what the names of the chickens were?

Just then as his wife brought out a giant plate of fresh southern fried chicken, (yes they eat southern fried chicken in Hungary :D lol) my cousin looked at my daughter and in reply to her question about the names of the chickens, he responded, “Lunch, dinner and supper!”

My daughter took in in stride and with a mouth full of chicken and a big smile she replied, “Well lunch was definitely tasty.”

Not one to miss an opportunity to post a picture of a knife hers on of the past years forum knife, certainly one of my all time favorites.

C37kegCh.jpg


Jack, congratulations my friend and a happy upcoming birthday, stay safe, healthy and as happy as you can stand.

Thanks for the giveaway and good luck to everyone who enters.
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Fantastic to see you here Ted, thanks for joining in, and for that great story :) And for your very kind words too my friend :thumbsup:

I used to smoke Marlboro Reds back in the 70's, as a teenager. I remember the corner shopkeeper telling me and a another keen smoker, "Got something different in lads, I think you'll like them." Like Nick O'Tine! :eek:


We did like them, and both smoked them for several years, but then they started making them over here, and the taste changed, they weren't the same :(

Very first joke I ever heard (and it was ancient then I reckon!):

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke!

:rolleyes:
 
Counting is hilarious, especially in different bases!!

There are three kinds of people in the world; those who can count and those who can't.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and those who don't.

Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec

- GT
 
Jack Black said:
I used to smoke Marlboro Reds back in the 70's, as a teenager. I remember the corner shopkeeper telling me and a another keen smoker, "Got something different in lads, I think you'll like them." Like Nick O'Tine! :eek:
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I smoked Marlboro too, but preferred Camel filterless ("I'd walk a mile for a Camel"). Only an occasional cigar now.
 
I smoked back in the day.
Camel filters, but started on Marlboro Reds. Interesting, Jack, that the Reds tasted different after production moved closer to you. Maybe the "fresh" ones lacked the savory-ness of the "aged" variety :)
Winston was probably the strongest filtered cigarette I ever tried. I smoked for 8 years. It took me two attempts to quit. Been free now for 26 yrs :thumbsup:


A long-time smoker felt some vague pains around his heart, and fearing that his smoking might be the cause, consulted a doctor.

"Do you believe, doctor," he asked, "that the use of tobacco tends to shorten a man's days?"

"I most certainly do!" replied the doctor. "I once tried to stop smoking, and the days were about ninety hours long."





cigarette-ads-flintstones-montage by Pine Moon, on Flickr
 
Prester John said:
I smoked Marlboro too, but preferred Camel filterless ("I'd walk a mile for a Camel"). Only an occasional cigar now.
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Pinemoon said:
I smoked back in the day.
Camel filters, but started on Marlboro Reds. Interesting, Jack, that the Reds tasted different after production moved closer to you. Maybe the "fresh" ones lacked the savory-ness of the "aged" variety :)
Winston was probably the strongest filtered cigarette I ever tried. I smoked for 8 years. It took me two attempts to quit. Been free now for 26 yrs :thumbsup:


A long-time smoker felt some vague pains around his heart, and fearing that his smoking might be the cause, consulted a doctor.

"Do you believe, doctor," he asked, "that the use of tobacco tends to shorten a man's days?"

"I most certainly do!" replied the doctor. "I once tried to stop smoking, and the days were about ninety hours long."





cigarette-ads-flintstones-montage by Pine Moon, on Flickr
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It's strange that I never tried Camels, my dad used to smoke them, along with Chesterfields, when I was young. He reckoned that American tobacco tasted different because it was toasted, rather than roasted, but I don't know if there is anything to that. After I moved on from Marlboro (they did have a rich, savoury taste, and a higher tar content I think), I smoked some fancy cigarettes from Fribourg & Treyer for a bit, and also smoked a lot of cigars, and John Cotton Cigarillos, and then I moved on to an untipped cigarette called Park Drive. I've smoked a few over the years, but I quit cigarettes in 1978, at the age of 17, having been a fairly heavy smoker for 10 years! :eek: :D It's a long time since I last had a cigarette (a Sobranie Black Russian), and I haven't even smoked a cigar for 5 years :) :thumbsup:

vintage-fribourg-treyer-cigarette_360_45e404b07eb0f757d4daed416fd8f167.jpg


images


I've smoked cigarettes from Russia, Spain, Poland, and Turkey, which had very strong black tobacco, and I used to smoke French cigarettes sometimes, which were never for the feint-hearted! :D I remember, going out in my teens, and lighting up a Gitanes in the dark, as I was walking up the road, then realising I'd actually lit the filter! :D :thumbsup:
 
This one made me laugh Jack so I can say - YOU ARE IN :D "but I quit cigarettes in 1978, at the age of 17, having been a fairly heavy smoker for 10 years!"

Heavy smoker for 10 years - quit at 17 :rolleyes: My hats off to the willfulness of youth. ;)
 
RayseM said:
This one made me laugh Jack so I can say - YOU ARE IN :D "but I quit cigarettes in 1978, at the age of 17, having been a fairly heavy smoker for 10 years!"

Heavy smoker for 10 years - quit at 17 :rolleyes: My hats off to the willfulness of youth. ;)
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I LOVED smoking as a kid Ray! :D I went through the whole of secondary school without having lunch, I don't know how I grew to 6ft 3"?! :rolleyes:

Here's the shops next to my old school, photographed in 1969, 2 years before I started there. The fence on the right (next to the liquor store) is the school fence, which has a gate in it there. A few yards on, across the small road is a post office, and the object next to the post office is a cigarette machine! :eek: It must have been the most heavily-used cigarette machine in Sheffield! :D :thumbsup:

Lu9llgx.jpg
 
CelloDan said:
I am in :) for Mike @Crazy Canuck

Took this little video about 12 years ago with my daughter :)

While not a joke I thought that a bit of sunshine .... when skies are grey it's just what we need in this times ....and my daughter and I do think it's very funny :D

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Very cute. My dog chimed in when he heard this. :D


A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.

He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, Aren't you that piece of string from before...?"

"No," says the piece of string, “I'm a frayed knot."

This is the only kid friendly joke I can ever remember. I’ve told it many times for cub scouts. I usually draw it out by adding in two more strings and having them come out of the desert dying of thirst.
 
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At the age of 9 or 10 I puffed on a few cigarettes, never really inhaled, until my Dad caught me, he then made me actually eat the biggest, greenest Cigar I have even seen, boy did I get sick. from that point on I never touched another cigarette, but latter in life I did chew tobacco.
 
Travman said:
Very cute. My dog chimed in when he heard this. :D


A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.

He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, Aren't you that piece of string from before...?"

"No," says the piece of string, “I'm a frayed knot."

This is the only kid friendly joke I can ever remember. I’ve told it many times for cub scouts. I usually draw it out by adding in two more strings and having them come out of the desert dying of thirst.
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I think we might have had this one! :D :thumbsup:

chuck4570 said:
At the age of 9 or 10 I puffed on a few cigarettes, never really inhaled, until my Dad caught me, he then made me actually eat the biggest, greenest Cigar I have even seen, boy did I get sick. from that point on I never touched another cigarette, but latter in life I did chew tobacco.
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My dad used to sit there, puffing away, enjoying every minute of it, but telling me, "Don't ever start smoking, it's a terrible thing." That may have been true, but he was a bad example! :rolleyes: I took snuff as a kid, but I've never chewed tobacco. One of my great grandfathers, who was a coal-miner, chewed, as they weren't allowed to smoke underground, but it is not something you really see here. I dare say if I'd been able to get hold of some chaw as a kid, I'd have tried it! :D :thumbsup:
 
Well folks, I think you have done a sterling job of keeping this thread going, and entertaining everyone with all the great jokes. Particular thanks to those of you who've made multiple contributions :) To say thanks, perhaps in a moment of madness, I'd like to change things :rolleyes: So, there'll now be three winners rather than one, and you all get to pick a knife each :) Again, I can't say when the knives will go in the mail, it might not be for a while with the way things are, but you'll get your prize eventually. Good luck again everyone. Blimey, just noticed the date, not long now :thumbsup:
 
Thanks Jack :)
It's been fun-- a great idea for a GAW amid some unsettling times.
And yes, you are a generous bloke :):thumbsup:


"That man over there," explained the guide to a group of visitors in an asylum, "thinks he's God."

One of the visitors, thinking to get a laugh, approached the man and asked, "is it true, Lord, that you made the world in seven days?"

The man gave him a withering glance and said scornfully, "I'm not in the mood to talk shop!"





vector-of-a-cartoon-looney-guy-in-a-straight-jacket-coloring-page-outline-by-toonaday-23798 by Pine Moon, on Flickr



And I thought this one was good :D:D:p:p

"Everyone buckled up?"
images (2) by Pine Moon, on Flickr
 
An 82 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, “You’re really doing great aren’t you?”
The man said, “Just doing what you said, Doc: Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.”
 
During my professorial period, I gave a fill in the blanks exam. The question was: "Under the Elizabethan Poor Laws, people who couldn't pay their debts were "

One of my students answered, " put in stocks and bonds."
 
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