100,000 Likes Giveaway - Winners Drawn!

RayseM said:
You are THAT Don Perkins? :cool: I'm pretty sure we have your book - if not - I have certainly flipped through its pages at the bookstore. Very cool Don!
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Yes, Ray!
'tis I :)
I'm flattered that you recognize the book. I have done a good amount of speaking on it in Wiscasset and Damariscotta... the midcoast in general. It came out in 2012 and has been a very satisfying experience. Old barns are pretty interesting. I've been wanting to share this with the Porch for a while.
 
akaMatt said:
A few Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey that always make me laugh...

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled up tobacco leaves.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
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"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
 
Pinemoon said:
Haha!
Good one :p


You're welcome, Sir :) I enjoy it.


I have to admit, the math jokes are over my head. That's a subject that eludes me. However, being a former carpenter, people are surprised at how well I can manage fractions. I'm a much better writer. I learned that after going back to school. I had a 13 year break between high school and college. I needed a math tutor for every math class and had to switch majors when I saw how I was struggling and the subsequent classes that were ahead. To my surprise I excelled at English/writing and got a degree in English. Six years later, I published a book:

Book Cover front-1 by Pine Moon, on Flickr

I've often thought it's a left-brain / right-brain thing. Most folks either fall into the math camp or the writing one. I think it's a rare bird that possess both. Of course, your mileage may vary :)
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I'm with you, Don. Always scored lower in math classes than in English/writing/literature classes myself. And some of these math (and music!) jokes were over my head too!
Interesting book. :thumbsup:
 
Pinemoon said:
...Six years later, I published a book:

Book Cover front-1 by Pine Moon, on Flickr
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Fantastic! My wife and I love Maine, and we love old barns. We’ll have to purchase a copy!

To stay on topic...

Two cows are having a conversation in the barn.

One says, “So, what do you think about this ‘mad cow’ disease?"

The other replies, “What the #%*$ do I care? I'm a squirrel.”
 
It was 1917, revolution had broken out in Russia, and Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, the notoriously bolshie Bolshevik, found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, namely Switzerland. Tired of triangular chocolate and cuckoo clocks, and thirsty for power, Lenin negotiated a deal with the German authorities, with whom Russia was at war, to allow him free passage back to his homeland, by train. He was escorted to Zurich train station to start his journey, but upon arriving at the platform, Lenin suddenly went red with rage, then purple! He was so angry, he was unable to speak. He began to stamp his feet, then jump up and down, steam virtually coming out of his ears. "What is wrong with Vladimir Ilyich?" Said his comrades, "He seems even more ill-tempered than usual." At the end of the platform, a diminutive Swiss circus master stood, looking increasingly nervous, as Lenin glared at him, and shook his fists. Beside him, a sea-lion twirled a coloured ball, impressively, on its nose. Eventually, he had had enough of the bad-tempered display, and demanded to know of the organizing committee, "Will you not be wanting the trained seal then?" ;)
 
Pinemoon said:
Haha!
Good one :p


You're welcome, Sir :) I enjoy it.


I have to admit, the math jokes are over my head. That's a subject that eludes me. However, being a former carpenter, people are surprised at how well I can manage fractions. I'm a much better writer. I learned that after going back to school. I had a 13 year break between high school and college. I needed a math tutor for every math class and had to switch majors when I saw how I was struggling and the subsequent classes that were ahead. To my surprise I excelled at English/writing and got a degree in English. Six years later, I published a book:

Book Cover front-1 by Pine Moon, on Flickr

I've often thought it's a left-brain / right-brain thing. Most folks either fall into the math camp or the writing one. I think it's a rare bird that possess both. Of course, your mileage may vary :)
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Well done Don :) :thumbsup:
 
RayseM said:
... and if you read the word KIND (in my attempt word play) as kindNESS it makes more sense. Joke falls flat if you need to explain it. :rolleyes: :)
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I'm all wet.
slow-motion-water-balloon-o.gif
 
Prester John said:
I'm with you, Don. Always scored lower in math classes than in English/writing/literature classes myself. And some of these math (and music!) jokes were over my head too!
Interesting book. :thumbsup:
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Hey, thanks, and yeah, that fits, Vince :)
Anyone with an OED at home's gotta favor writing :cool:


Frailer said:
Fantastic! My wife and I love Maine, and we love old barns. We’ll have to purchase a copy!
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Thanks, it's on Amazon
 
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Jack Black said:
Well done Don :)
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Thanks Jack :thumbsup:


A pretty young teacher was explaining to her class in composition the difference between the words concrete and abstract

"Concrete," she explained, "means something you can see; whereas abstract mean something you can't see." Now, who can give me an illustration?"

A lad in the front row volunteered.

"My pants are concrete, teacher," he said, "but yours are abstract."


illustration-beautiful-teacher-school-vector-48089673 by Pine Moon, on Flickr
 
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