100,000 Likes Giveaway - Winners Drawn!

WHT said:
The black sheep reminded me of another one.

A shepherd was out in the field with his flock when a well dressed man in a Mercedes convertible stopped and called him over.
"That's a pretty large flock you have there. If I told you how many sheep you have, would give me one?"
The shepherd thought a bit and said, "I can do that."
The man pulled out his calculator and said "you have exactly 256 in your flock."
The shepherd said, "That's correct. Pick out the one you want to have."
The man walked over picked up one of the animals and put in his car.
Then the shepherd said, "If I can guess your occupation, would you give me my animal back."
"That sounds reasonable."
The Shepherd then said, "You're a consultant."
"That's right, how did you know."
The shepherd said, "There are three thins I noticed.
1. You made a deal in which all the benefit went to you with no benefit to me.
2. You told me something I already knew. And
3. You know absolutely nothing about my business.
Now will you give me back my dog!"
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I worked for a large engineering consulting firm for the last 29 years of my working life. My first boss told me that a good consultant was someone who borrowed your watch and then charged you for telling you what time it was. Sorry, not a joke.
 
Many thanks for all the entries, and great jokes, folks, some of you have really excelled :) Please keep 'em coming, new entries welcome until midnight GMT, so plenty of time yet :thumbsup:

Here's some photos of the prizes, in no particular order, but I've numbered them to make things for the winners to pick :thumbsup:

1) A. Wright & Son Ettrick, nickel silver bolsters, unpolished carbon steel (C70) blade, Rosewood covers.

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2) A. Wright & Son Medium Pruner, nickel silver bolsters, unpolished carbon steel (C70) blade, Buffalo Horn covers.

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3) A. Wright & Son Sheepsfoot, nickel silver bolsters, unpolished carbon steel (C70) blade, Rosewood covers.

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4) A. Wright & Son Spearpoint with shackle, nickel silver bolsters, unpolished carbon steel (C70) blade, Rosewood covers.

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5) A. Wright & Son Clip-point Jack (sold as a Barlow), nickel silver bolsters, polished carbon steel (C70) blade, Pere David Stag covers.

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6) Jack Black SFO Lambsfoot by A. Wright & Son, nickel silver bolsters, polished carbon steel blade with 'Real Lamb Foot' etch, Bagpipe Ebony covers.

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7) Jack Black SFO Large Lambsfoot (Big 'Un) by A. Wright & Son, nickel silver bolsters, polished carbon steel blade with 'Real Lamb Foot' etch, Bagpipe Ebony covers.

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8) C.H. Richard Budding/Grafting Knife, carbon steel blade, smooth white bone covers.

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9) Harrison Fisher Crown Penknife, carbon steel blades, French Ivory covers.

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10) John Wigfall Equal End Penknife, carbon steel blades, Ivorine/Xylonite covers.

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11) Joseph Elliott Equal End Penknife, carbon steel blades, Ivorine/Xylonite covers.

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12) Not such what this large folder by Meeson & Sons started out as! :D Carbon steel blades, Buffalo Horn covers.

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13) Taylor's Eye Witness Serpentine Jack, carbon steel blades, Ivorine/Xylonite covers.

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14) Thomas Turner Equal End Penknife, stainless blades.

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15) Wright Brothers Sleeveboard Penknife, carbon steel blades, Ivorine/Xylonite covers.

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Good luck everyone :) :thumbsup: I'll make the draw tomorrow :thumbsup:
 
I like Yogi-isms and have an article from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: Yogi Berra, the former New York Yankee great demonstrated the linguistic stylings that have earned him eight entries in 'Bartlett's Familiar Quotations' when he addressed the graduates at Montclair State University. He had been given an honorary doctorate. His advice included:
"First, never give up, because it ain't over 'til it's over"
"Second, in the years ahead, when you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"Third, don't always follow the crowd. Nobody goes there anymore. It's to crowded."
"Fourth, stay alert. You can observe a lot by watching."
"Fifth and last, remember that whatever you do in your life, 90 percent of it is half mental."
This was in Parade Magazine Dec. 29, 1996.
 
A young man grew up way back in the hills, and was the first in his family to go off to college. When the holidays came, he went home for the break. His father says to him, "son what are you taking in that there college?" The son replies, "well among other things, algebra". The father says, "fine, say something in algebra". The boy thinks for a bit and says, "π r²". The father explodes. "That D*** college is a big wast of money. Any Durn fool knows that, pie are round.

Thanks for starting this thread Jack. It's been entertaining. I'm in.

O.B.
 
Old Biker said:
A young man grew up way back in the hills, and was the first in his family to go off to college. When the holidays came, he went home for the break. His father says to him, "son what are you taking in that there college?" The son replies, "well among other things, algebra". The father says, "fine, say something in algebra". The boy thinks for a bit and says, "π r²". The father explodes. "That D*** college is a big wast of money. Any Durn fool knows that, pie are round.

Thanks for starting this thread Jack. It's been entertaining. I'm in.

O.B.
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I was reading that as "n" for a while till I realized it was pi!
 
Algebra jokes, eh?
A couple of vaguely religious ones for Sunday:
One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like y = 3x^2 + 8x – 9.” St. Thomas looked very confused and asked St. Peter: "What does the teacher mean?" St.Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."

What will a mathematician choose: half of an egg or eternal bliss in the afterlife?
A half of an egg, because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and a half of an egg is better than nothing.
(An obvious application of the transitive property of inequality.)

How about a joke involving babies, and another involving geezers?
What do baby parabolas drink?
Quadratic formula.

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.


- GT
 
Jack Black said:
Here's some photos of the prizes
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Wow, looks great. Thanks for hosting this awesome GAW, Jack... 20 pages :thumbsup:
Happy birthday, "Barn Black"
Here's to many more :)


tongueriver said:
I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."
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I love this one, not sure why...


RayseM said:
When is Pinemoon Pinemoon like a foot?
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Cool Ray :thumbsup: thanks for thinking of me :cool:
I couldn't figure how in the world is pinemoon like a foot o_O

Here's one of my tattoos:

20200222_094633 by Pine Moon, on Flickr


So,since it's almost Jack's birthday, here's a birthday-themed joke I'll close with:

"The old lady struck up a conversation with a small child playing on a vacant lot.
"Among other things," she inquired, "when were you born, my little man?"

I wasn't born at all" replied the boy. "I've got a stepmother."



unnamed (1) by Pine Moon, on Flickr
 
Prester John said:
Well, before I forget, I want to wish you a very happy birthday, Jack. You make BladeForums a much better place, I think. Hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow, mate! (See? I've larned me some proper English!)
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Pinemoon said:
Wow, looks great. Thanks for hosting this awesome GAW, Jack... 20 pages :thumbsup:
Happy birthday, "Barn Black"
Here's to many more :)



I love this one, not sure why...



Cool Ray :thumbsup: thanks for thinking of me :cool:
I couldn't figure how in the world is pinemoon like a foot o_O

Here's one of my tattoos:

20200222_094633 by Pine Moon, on Flickr


So,since it's almost Jack's birthday, here's a birthday-themed joke I'll close with:

"The old lady struck up a conversation with a small child playing on a vacant lot.
"Among other things," she inquired, "when were you born, my little man?"

I wasn't born at all" replied the boy. "I've got a stepmother."



unnamed (1) by Pine Moon, on Flickr
Click to expand...

Many thanks fellers :) It's going to be a strange birthday, I actually have some work I need to do tonight, I have one birthday card, and I probably won't get anymore, or see another soul tomorrow, and I certainly can't go out to the pub or for a meal :( So I appreciate the birthday wishes, and your good company all the more :) :thumbsup:
 
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