Apology PLEASE READ

Sounds like your working your steps, I have family who are addicts, and they have stolen from me , made promises to make it right, said they were gonna change their life and they do good for a few months and then BAM relapse. I understand what your going through right now that overwhelming emotion you have coming back to you right now, that only people who have been there can understand. The drugs numb your emotions and when there gone you start feeling human again. The trick is to realize your mistakes, and vow to never be that person again. Yes i said you should be banned on here, just because innocent people shouldn't have to worry about their hard earned money being stolen, But we are all human we all make mistakes, and anyone who is trying to turn there life around deserves a second chance, but remember you did this to yourself , and others aren't going to understand and sympathize with you. That being said Recovery is a selfish thing you have to do things to help build yourself up first, after you become stronger, then you work on the people you did wrong remember 90% of addicts relapse, don't be a statistic, and Good luck to you, I would just suggest you stay off the exchange for awhile, take it 1 day at a time and let us all know your progress as you make it. You put it out here for the world to see, so give the world an update and let us know how your doing. Good luck. Stay Sober!
 
First I'd like to commend you for publicly owning up to what you did in such great detail. Not a lot of people do that. I've dealt with a lot of people in your situation in the past by virtue of my profession. Having said that, there are a couple of things in your latest post that lead me to believe that deep down inside where it counts you haven't entirely made that 180 degree turn.

First thing being your own admission that the only person's opinion you value is Jason's. While on the surface that may seem understandable to some, I'm calling bullshit on your reformation if that's true and here's why: If I thought I had scewed someone over, even inadverdently, I would be mortified at the thought that it might get out to others and soil my reputation. I would do everything in my power to make it right because that is what your reputaion is. HOW OTHERS SEE YOU! The fact that you apparently don't give a shit is troubling to me.

The second thing is simple. If you have "an extensive collection" it would seem a pretty easy matter to make restitution. Why the "payment plan"? Simply give the man part or all of this extensive collection and call it good.
 
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Being taken advantage of on forums sucks. Having bought, sold, and traded hundreds of items across many different boards I almost always have the little thought in my head "what if I get screwed this time". And it's not like this is any worse or better than trading/selling/buying somewhere else. I have been screwed on ebay as both a buyer and seller. I've heard plenty of stories where people meet up from craigslist and one gets killed.

Back to your story...it sucks for everyone that you did what you did. You obviously put a lot of thought into it. It's good that you are owning up to it...and I agree with one of the other posts - if you do trades again, just send your item first.
And on a side note, it is stupid to do something like this. People know people all across the world. When you give them your address, you have no idea who could show up at your doorstep if you screw them over. I've heard of people killing for much less than this.
 
So if I'm reading correctly I should say I really value all of your opinion of me after I stole a knife and you all rip me to shreads. You can call bs on whatever you want but the fact remains that Jason was the victim and if your going to blame me for all of the problems of internet trading that is your opinion I guess but pardon me if I don't say hay you that is telling me I'll always be a piece of shit and should be banned I really care about your opinion of me. Your missing the point and I'm sorry if you feel slighted that I didn't throw sorry your way. I had a few choices here, one being go away and don't address or pay back. Two, join again under differrent name and address. Three pay Jason back and not post anything. Or pay him back and do what i'm doing. If there was no sicerity which do you think I would have made? Jason and the people who helped him with and through this are the people that I feel I owe a pennance to, the apology is for them the explanation is for every one else I hope you learn from it for instance check feedback scores use signature delivery, trade with familiar friends that sort of thing. Also if a would be theif reads maybe it will curb his choice. If I have this link on my avatar and people aren't trading with me and if they do mine goes out first, I guess if I relapse no harm no foul right? This isn't my first time in recovery like most I have failed a few times. Previous to this I had four years clean and never would have dreampt of taking anything from any one. I address what prompted the relapse and get on with it. I find it interesting that you can read 600 words and base my seriousness about my life off that. Like I said I DON'T WANT TO TRADE the apology was for Jason and friends the explanation was for everyone else. I don't want a second chance I don't want to be your buddy. I want to take that shitty thing and confess it no excuses, make it right and get on. My sobriety shouldn't effect you if there is no trading. But I guess if I stop and weigh the options, using the small amount of charactor I have at this point this was the best way I could think to be honest and move on with it. Step work aside this is'nt a 9th step. This all came out and I'm taking care of it best way I can. Also I'm not too sure if how we decide to address the retitution is really of anyones concern other than Jason's and maybe Esav's since he's the mod who has been dealing with the situation and my own. If someone could take a minute and explain the whole add the link to my avatar thing it would be appreciated.
Thanks. Ben...
 
sogtrident7 said:
So if I'm reading correctly I should say I really value all of your opinion of me after I stole a knife and you all rip me to shreads. You can call bs on whatever you want but the fact remains that Jason was the victim and if your going to blame me for all of the problems of internet trading that is your opinion I guess but pardon me if I don't say hay you that is telling me I'll always be a piece of shit and should be banned I really care about your opinion of me. Your missing the point and I'm sorry if you feel slighted that I didn't throw sorry your way. I had a few choices here, one being go away and don't address or pay back. Two, join again under differrent name and address. Three pay Jason back and not post anything. Or pay him back and do what i'm doing. If there was no sicerity which do you think I would have made? Jason and the people who helped him with and through this are the people that I feel I owe a pennance to, the apology is for them the explanation is for every one else I hope you learn from it for instance check feedback scores use signature delivery, trade with familiar friends that sort of thing. Also if a would be theif reads maybe it will curb his choice. If I have this link on my avatar and people aren't trading with me and if they do mine goes out first, I guess if I relapse no harm no foul right? This isn't my first time in recovery like most I have failed a few times. Previous to this I had four years clean and never would have dreampt of taking anything from any one. I address what prompted the relapse and get on with it. I find it interesting that you can read 600 words and base my seriousness about my life off that. Like I said I DON'T WANT TO TRADE the apology was for Jason and friends the explanation was for everyone else. I don't want a second chance I don't want to be your buddy. I want to take that shitty thing and confess it no excuses, make it right and get on. My sobriety shouldn't effect you if there is no trading. But I guess if I stop and weigh the options, using the small amount of charactor I have at this point this was the best way I could think to be honest and move on with it. Step work aside this is'nt a 9th step. This all came out and I'm taking care of it best way I can. Also I'm not too sure if how we decide to address the retitution is really of anyones concern other than Jason's and maybe Esav's since he's the mod who has been dealing with the situation and my own. If someone could take a minute and explain the whole add the link to my avatar thing it would be appreciated.
Thanks. Ben...
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Yep, that's what I tought. That reaction tells me all I need to know. I'm done here.
 
"And on a side note, it is stupid to do something like this. People know people all across the world. When you give them your address, you have no idea who could show up at your doorstep if you screw them over. I've heard of people killing for much less than this".

Your exactly right Leek-Freak I thought of everything but the consequences. Mental, physical, and reputation. That's definately the makings of an idiot. I am glad that I don't have to make that choice any more because it is that, a choice
 
BP Green said:
Yep, that's what I tought. That reaction tells me all I need to know. I'm done here.
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Not to chime in uselessly, but this is my thought as well. I have kept up with this thread when I saw it, and have been curious. Not so much anymore.
 
sogtrident7 said:
Also I'm not too sure if how we decide to address the retitution is really of anyones concern other than Jason's and maybe Esav's since he's the mod who has been dealing with the situation and my own. If someone could take a minute and explain the whole add the link to my avatar thing it would be appreciated.
Thanks. Ben...
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As a Reg. User, you don't have an avatar. I don't know how to give you a custom title. Let's wait on that, and then ask Spark about it.
 
Ben, hopefully you're seeing just how difficult it is to regain trust after you have violated it. Many people never learn this.

This is a lesson that should be extremely difficult so that it will stick and you will go to any and all lengths to make sure that it never happens again.

Best of luck to you in your recovery. I sincerely mean that.
 
BP No matter what I do or say you and many other will not budge on your initial impression because your life expierience and my actions won't let you. I get and all I'm saying is thats not my goal to change your impression of me. Everybody reads this, some comment, and most say what a thieving asshole he not worth the keystrokes and move on. You sound like the latter, don't waste your time. Some of you are trying to turn this into something it's not. This was meant to be an apology to Jaydev and his people, and an explanation and the truth to the rest of the community. Everything else is'nt important I don't think. The addict thing was simply an answer to a question. I don't know how you can dipute what i've said here. Jason and I are working it out and the rest of you got 100% nothing held back truth. I guess if you don't feel I'm hanging my head in shame low enough sorry but I have alot more to worry about in my life than a few people's judgement of me on this forum. Not to say I don't care because I do and I wouldn't have done any of this if I didn't but there will be those of you who hold this forever and I'll do the same thing you do when some one dislikes you, take it with a grain of salt. Apparently because of my actions I should be too shameful to dispute something on here, I'm not I guess so if that makes this all bs than I guess.
 
Thanks Esav and Daddyo I do see you can destroy a lifetime of good in .5 seconds and thanks for your wishes and if I work half as hard at sobriety as going the other way I should do ok. Btw on a side note I have met the most selfless and honest people I've encountered in those mtgs. So to classify alcoholics and addicts as hopeless and worthless is a bit naive. Granted most of us don't make it but those that do have life expeiriences, views, and grace than few others posses..
 
leafstorm said:
I just posted a thread about getting a gold membership and the buying/selling/trading process and was directed to this sub forum by Esav. Needless to say a somewhat disenchanting read.
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Welcome to the forum.
Blade Forums has a Sales Feedack and Rating System, so you can know who you are dealing with.
When you want to purchase a knife, buy from someone who as made a few (or more) successful deals with good feedback and no problems.
Buy a few knives, read a lot and get to know some folks.
You will eventualy find someone who wants something you have to offer, and with your positive buyer's feedback will be willing to take a chance buying a knife from you.
I'm in the same boat, I've never sold a knife here (I have given one away); so, if someone want to buy a knife from me they'll have to take their chances and be the first! :p
pete
 
I have been burnt in the past, had the person come back and appologized,ans ubsequently dissappeared again with my $200 and the knife he made, so I will reserve judgement.

Once you are squared away from your original deal, if you are serious about becoming reformed:
1) support the site with a platinum or gold membership, admitting in your sig line that you messed up, as you state you are planning.
2) join the community discussions without bravado and pride. I always look at where a member posts before dealing with them- if you are only on exchange I am much less likely to adopt a friendly trade demeanor with the person. I like to know more about who I am dealing with, and respect the people that will open up about themselves and contribute to the great community here.
3) every couple of months put on a "giving back- I'm sorry" giveaway. By showing that you are giving to the Community without trying to take from it may help reclaim your wasted honor. Nice knives, and go through with it.
4) don't dissappear, and don't get short with those that heap abuse on you. Let the mods know if somebody is harrassing you, but understand you have little to stand on. By staying and working through the hard times you may reclaim a bit of yourself.

I wish you luck in straightening out your life and hope that you can follow through with changes, but like others I feel you have a lot of years of hard work to prove us wrong. And you do now have to answer to the community, not just the mods and person you have wronged.

I hope you prove the doubters (including myself) wrong.
 
I know I said I was done but since you addressed me directly I'll give you the courtesy of a response this once, then you can have the last word. I'm not saying no one deserves forgiveness. People who are truely repentant do. I'm saying based on what you've written, you aren't there. I hope you prove me wrong. My "life's experience" however tells me otherwise. . .
 
Hell i offered you some support then you throw some shots at me indirectly, I'm done as well , hope everyone sees you for what you are, someone trying to apologize for screwing one person over so you may gain some other persons trust so you can screw them over again. As stated above you are saying alot of things without coming out and saying them. I'm done with this thread and you too sir.
 
Maniacal Pete said:
Welcome to the forum.
Blade Forums has a Sales Feedack and Rating System, so you can know who you are dealing with.
When you want to purchase a knife, buy from someone who as made a few (or more) successful deals with good feedback and no problems.
Buy a few knives, read a lot and get to know some folks.
You will eventualy find someone who wants something you have to offer, and with your positive buyer's feedback will be willing to take a chance buying a knife from you.
I'm in the same boat, I've never sold a knife here (I have given one away); so, if someone want to buy a knife from me they'll have to take their chances and be the first! :p
pete
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Thanks Pete Ive had many warm welcomes here and overall I am not worried about things like this happening. RevDevil has been particularly kind in getting me started.
I just purchased a gold membership today so im waiting for it to kick in, and in the mean time im taking pictures and prepping knives for the Canadian exchange.
 
I hope he has the balls to go back into exchange eventually so whichever one of us has enough of a mean streak to be a karmic jerk can have him send his knife first and then happily send along a few light bulbs or an extension cord.

P.S. I was an addict for a few years and it's not a requisite that you become a thief or cheat because of it, that side of you was already there. I found a lot of different ways to support my habit while I had it, but I never stole from anyone, I never even asked my family or friends to 'borrow' money. Granted I did do some selling for awhile as a way to basically make my stash free, admittedly not the greatest thing to do but always among other adults whom were people I knew and still arguably much better than behavior than this.
 
leafstorm said:
Thanks Pete Ive had many warm welcomes here and overall I am not worried about things like this happening. RevDevil has been particularly kind in getting me started.
I just purchased a gold membership today so im waiting for it to kick in, and in the mean time im taking pictures and prepping knives for the Canadian exchange.
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Good for you Leafstorm! Yep, Rev's a good dude. Looking forward to seeing what you've got. :)
 
Cuts like kris, first thanks for taking the time to say something productive. how does one obtain a gold membership? I assume it's like a paid membership to help support the site with a few perks. I would be interested in that. I want to put something in my signature stating what happened. Their are people on here who think this is to get over on people in the future but again I don't want to be in the exchange forum and if I am I and alot of you will make sure everyone is aware what happened, and it wont be for a long time. If I poke my nose in their it will be to give something away. I do have a few knives that could go to a good home if somebody needs one, they are old users but I will put a razor edge on them and mechanically if it's broken it goes in the trash so they will have alot of life left in them. First things first I need to get Jason taken care of.
 
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