"Carl's Lounge" (Off-Topic Discussion, Traditional Knife "Tales & Vignettes")

Just Tom. said:
That was indeed very personal, but also very touching, and I am very glad that you decided to share.

I have to confess to crying when reading your post (and while typing this). I lost my brother last April, my father this May, and my mother just passed away in late September.

My father kept his wits until just a couple of years before the end, and remained cheerful and pleasant even during his short, steep decline. He remained in his home, with my mother, until just 5 months before his death, and his last illness was mercifully brief. He died while being held by me, my wife, and my daughter.

My mother, however, spent the last ten or more years of her life in a heartbreaking descent into dementia, and I was with her at the end. I can only imagine what you are going through, but if it helps at all, I believe you should indeed find solace in not having had to see her experience the terminal stages of such a devastating condition.

My wife and I spent the last couple of years looking after my parents’ affairs, and with us too it’s all the little activities related to their care (and the daily visits) we miss most.

Because of all this, I am now very attuned to this sort of thing. Whenever I see an elder couple where one party is clearly the caretaker of the other, my heart just breaks - it’s a special type of bond born of decades love, and you are blessed to have been one of those able to bear that responsibility with kindness.
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Your comments were also very touching. Thank you for sharing your experiences. As you said, it was good that she didn't have to suffer through the last stages of dementia. Our daily routine had changed, of course, but it was never a burden. Through it all I knew she would have done the same and much more for me had our positions been reversed.

Thanks again.
Jim
 
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Headwinds said:
Tribute to a Girl Scout

My wife was a Girl Scout right up through graduation from High School in 1965. She loved the outdoors and Scouting, and after the kids were grown she and I spent many happy hours together hiking and canoeing.

I found her old Kutmaster Girl Scout knife a few years ago, complete with the lanyard she had made for it. My first thought was to clean it up and sharpen it, but she started to develop Alzheimer’s about that time and I forgot about the knife. The Alzheimer’s gradually got worse but I was able to keep caring for her at home. After she reached the point that I couldn’t leave her alone I took her with me everywhere I went, and if anything we actually became closer than ever. She had forgotten much of our earlier life together, but she never forgot me. I’ll be forever grateful for the time we had together.

She passed away earlier this month, just two weeks after our 57th wedding anniversary. I’m grateful she didn’t have to go through the terrible late stages of Alzheimer’s, but I miss her terribly. I find what I miss most of all is the little ordinary day-to-day things I did with her, like walks in the neighborhood and shopping at the grocery store.

I found her knife again the other day. Now I’m so glad I left it just the way it was when she was using it. It’s so much more now than just a knife. I’ll eventually pass it on to one of our children (or maybe one of our great-grandchildren.)

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Hope this wasn’t too personal. Putting it into words seems to help somehow.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I would treasure that knife too. Thanks for sharing with us.
God bless.
 
mbkr said:
Sorry for your loss. You were blessed to have 57 years with your love. I'm glad for you that she always knew who you were. My paternal grandmother and my father both had dementia. When Grandma passed, she didn't know who she was and couldn't feed herself. Dad was confused but always knew who I was and who he was, even if he wasn't sure what decade it was. I too was grateful for that.
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Thank you. Yes, I was blessed to have had as long as we did together. We had so much more than so many people have. I'm also so grateful that she never forgot who I was. That made it all worthwhile.

Jim
 
Headwinds said:
Tribute to a Girl Scout

My wife was a Girl Scout right up through graduation from High School in 1965. She loved the outdoors and Scouting, and after the kids were grown she and I spent many happy hours together hiking and canoeing.

I found her old Kutmaster Girl Scout knife a few years ago, complete with the lanyard she had made for it. My first thought was to clean it up and sharpen it, but she started to develop Alzheimer’s about that time and I forgot about the knife. The Alzheimer’s gradually got worse but I was able to keep caring for her at home. After she reached the point that I couldn’t leave her alone I took her with me everywhere I went, and if anything we actually became closer than ever. She had forgotten much of our earlier life together, but she never forgot me. I’ll be forever grateful for the time we had together.

She passed away earlier this month, just two weeks after our 57th wedding anniversary. I’m grateful she didn’t have to go through the terrible late stages of Alzheimer’s, but I miss her terribly. I find what I miss most of all is the little ordinary day-to-day things I did with her, like walks in the neighborhood and shopping at the grocery store.

I found her knife again the other day. Now I’m so glad I left it just the way it was when she was using it. It’s so much more now than just a knife. I’ll eventually pass it on to one of our children (or maybe one of our great-grandchildren.)

VlnCwAA.jpg


Hope this wasn’t too personal. Putting it into words seems to help somehow.
Click to expand...

Congratulations on finding such a great partner for life, and my sincere condolences on her passing. That might just be your best knife right there.
 
knarfeng said:
Apparently, my wife and I will be heading back to Hawaii this spring for a wedding. My son asked a question. "Popped", you might say.
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Congratulations to you and your family Frank :) :thumbsup:
Headwinds said:
Tribute to a Girl Scout

My wife was a Girl Scout right up through graduation from High School in 1965. She loved the outdoors and Scouting, and after the kids were grown she and I spent many happy hours together hiking and canoeing.

I found her old Kutmaster Girl Scout knife a few years ago, complete with the lanyard she had made for it. My first thought was to clean it up and sharpen it, but she started to develop Alzheimer’s about that time and I forgot about the knife. The Alzheimer’s gradually got worse but I was able to keep caring for her at home. After she reached the point that I couldn’t leave her alone I took her with me everywhere I went, and if anything we actually became closer than ever. She had forgotten much of our earlier life together, but she never forgot me. I’ll be forever grateful for the time we had together.

She passed away earlier this month, just two weeks after our 57th wedding anniversary. I’m grateful she didn’t have to go through the terrible late stages of Alzheimer’s, but I miss her terribly. I find what I miss most of all is the little ordinary day-to-day things I did with her, like walks in the neighborhood and shopping at the grocery store.

I found her knife again the other day. Now I’m so glad I left it just the way it was when she was using it. It’s so much more now than just a knife. I’ll eventually pass it on to one of our children (or maybe one of our great-grandchildren.)

VlnCwAA.jpg


Hope this wasn’t too personal. Putting it into words seems to help somehow.
Click to expand...
I'm very sorry for your loss Jim :( That's a poignant and deeply-moving tribute to your wife my friend ❤️ :thumbsup:
waynorth said:
I'm so sorry you've lost your life partner!! If talking to us helps, we are here for you, and I am sure I speak for everyone!! I hope you have joyful memories!!
Charlie
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Nicely said Charlie :) :thumbsup:
Just Tom. said:
That was indeed very personal, but also very touching, and I am very glad that you decided to share.

I have to confess to crying when reading your post (and while typing this). I lost my brother last April, my father this May, and my mother just passed away in late September.

My father kept his wits until just a couple of years before the end, and remained cheerful and pleasant even during his short, steep decline. He remained in his home, with my mother, until just 5 months before his death, and his last illness was mercifully brief. He died while being held by me, my wife, and my daughter.

My mother, however, spent the last ten or more years of her life in a heartbreaking descent into dementia, and I was with her at the end. I can only imagine what you are going through, but if it helps at all, I believe you should indeed find solace in not having had to see her experience the terminal stages of such a devastating condition.

My wife and I spent the last couple of years looking after my parents’ affairs, and with us too it’s all the little activities related to their care (and the daily visits) we miss most.

Because of all this, I am now very attuned to this sort of thing. Whenever I see an elder couple where one party is clearly the caretaker of the other, my heart just breaks - it’s a special type of bond born of decades love, and you are blessed to have been one of those able to bear that responsibility with kindness.
Click to expand...
I'm very sorry you've had such a bad year Tom :(
 
Thank you very much, Jack. I felt it was the least I could do, given all she had done for me over the years. Up to the last, whenever she saw me looking at BladeForums she would tell me, "Go buy yourself another knife." She knew I really enjoyed my knives and just wanted me to be happy.
 
abbydaddy said:
I am very sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing for you and your family to cherish.

Thank you for sharing the story of your time together at the end, and thank you for the story of how her Girl Scout knife became more than just a knife.
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Thank you for your kind comments. Her memory is indeed a blessing to us. I knew BF was the one place where my feelings about her knife would be fully understood.

Jim
 
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