Clean jokes...

I saw the doctor today
I was told that I have Tom Jones disorder
After asking how common it is
I was told

''Its Not Unusual''
 
A pastor walks into a bar carrying a chicken.
The beertender sees him and says "What is this: some kind of joke?*
 
Buddy Hackett told this one long ago.
A farmer has a rich city guy move in next door. The city guy likes to duck hunt and shoots a duck that manages to fly a bit and finally die on top of the farmer's barn.
The city guy comes over and tells the farmer that it's his duck and he wants it. The farmer says that since it landed on his barn it's his duck.
The city guy asks how they can solve it, and the farmer says they can rochambeau for it.
Rochambeau, asks the city guy, what's that?
The farmers replies that we take turns kicking each other in the crotch and the first guy to cry uncle loses. The farmer replies he'll go first.
The farmer winds up and plants a huge painful kick right to the crotch of the city guy, who falls, cupping his genitals. He manages not to cry uncle.
The city guy stands up after long minutes of nausea, deep breathing and composing himself and says: okay, my turn.
The farmer replies- nah, you can have the duck.
 
Why do cannibals refuse to eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles....my next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

My girlfriend broke-up with me so I stole her wheelchair...guess who came crawling back?

Why do people in the UK call it a "lift" while we call it an "elevator"?
Because we were brought up differently.
 
if three people are in a life raft with 4 cigarettes between them but no matches, how do they start the cigarettes?

they toss one overboard and then the raft will become a cigarette lighter.

🥁🤡
 
tinfoil hat timmy said:
if three people are in a life raft with 4 cigarettes between them but no matches, how do they start the cigarettes?

they toss one overboard and then the raft will become a cigarette lighter.

🥁🤡
Click to expand...
now ya went and done it....

You awake from sleep and find yourself in a room with a mirror and a table, but no doors or windows. How do you get out?




Look in the mirror.
See what you saw.
Take the saw.
Cut the table in half.
Two halves make a whole.
Crawl out through the hole.
 
The Difference Between Dog Theology and Cat Theology:
A dog looks at his human and thinks, "He loves me, he feeds me, he gives me shelter from the storm. Hmmm. He might be a god."
A cat looks at his human and thinks, "He loves me, he feeds me, he gives me shelter from the storm. Hmmm. I might be a god."
 
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