ok, so I finally got thru to the scumbags at the club,
No, no, no, no, no. Get this straigt right now: you spoke to the
gentleman at the club. Be polite to extremes.
once he found out why I was calling, "to retrieve my property," he became obnoxious, practically yelling into the phone,
Excellent. He's a hot-head. This is perfect. Remember, you never raise your voice and always behave politely. This will be especially important if you're in the company of a police officer.
Be a sea of calmness, civility, and rationality amidst the bluster of his storm. But there's an interesting thing about even a calm ocean: it moves with purpose and determination. A man can shout and swear at it all he wants, but the tide inevitably comes in. And if the man don't get out of the way, he'll drowned despite his protests.
Be that ocean. Let him know by your actions, words, and attitudes that you have purpose and determination and that while he may bluster all he wants, the tide is coming in.
When you meet him, you be the one to extend your hand saying, "Good evening. I'm (insert name). We talked by telephone on Tuesday. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I hope that we can get this issue resolved quickly since I know that you're a busy man." In other words, YOU be the one to open things up with a courteous, civil tone. But, by doing this, you've also gained the upper hand.
saying,"how dare you try to come into my club with an illegal weapon!" He continued," you act like this was a pencil, or a keepsake or something... how could you possibly think we'd hand it back... I should have had the cops come, and I should have given it over to them... blah, blah...
He's trying to chagne the subject. The issue is not the knife. The knife is legal for you to own and carry (I assume). It is not legal for him to take your property. That is called stealing. The issue here is that an employee of his club acting for the club stole your property. Always keep the focus on that issue.
If he raises some other issue, the strategy is simple: acknowledge his point and then quickly come back to the central issue.
"How dare you come into my club with an illegal weapon!?!"
Response: As a past patron of your club, I appreciate your concern for the safety of your patrons. You have the legal right to exclude people carrying any object you want, legal or not. However, my knife is not illegal. You have the right as a private establishment to exclude me while I am carrying it. But what is illegal is for your employee acting on behalf of your club to steal my knife from me. That is criminally illegal.
"You act like this was a pencil, or a keepsake or something..."
Response: I understand your concern. But we're not talking about an illegal weapon here. My knife is legal for me to own and carry. Legally, my knife is no different than a pencil or a keepsake of any sort. Legally, as a private property owner, you may exclude me, but is just as illegal for your employee to steal my knife from me as it would be for him to steal any other person's pencil or keepsake.
"how could you possibly think we'd hand it back... "
Response: Again, I understand and appreciate your desire to provide your customers with a safe environment within your club. But you have absolutely no legal authority to retain my property. It is my property and you are in posession of it illegally. You have stolen it. I'm doing you a favor by offering you the opportunity to return it quietly. The alternative is for me to file criminal charges. I am prepared to do that.
"I should have had the cops come, and I should have given it over to them... "
Response: Yes, that is exactly what you should have done. Legally, you have no authority to confiscate private property. By doing so, you are usurping an authority that is legally reserved for duly sworn law enforcement officers and courts. You are essentially impersonating a Police Officer. [This one will be especially good when the officer is standing right there.] If you doubt me, check with your attorney. If you suspect that you've discovered a crime in progress, you must legally do what any other private citizen must do in that situation: you must call a proper authority, a police officer, to come and take charge of the situation. Investigating and dealing with crimes and criminals is the job of our sworn police officers, not for club bouncers or other vigilantes. [Again, this one goes right to a police officer's heart.] Your actions in this matter are a crime themselves. You have stolen my property.
Everytime he tries to change the subject, acknowlege his point quickly and then come right back to your solid legal issue.
My previous suggestions apply 100%. Come to this meeting well-dressed. Behave as a perfect gentleman. Do not raise your voice. Do not use any strong language. Address him very formally, Mr. Smith or Sir. If there's a police officer present, shake his hand right off. Learn his name and use it respectfully. Address him as Officer Jones, or Sir.
Insist that the conversation take somewhere away from crowds and where it's quite. Simply say, "Is there somewhere a little quieter where we can go so that we don't have to shout at each other?" This sets the tone for the meeting as a serious meeting.
Insist on a sit-down meeting. This is much more formal than a quick stand-up. It sets the tone that this is a serious meeting. Just say, "Is there someplace we can sit down? I'd like to be able to take some notes."
Then, everything else applies. My portfolio ploy, a favorite ploy of mine, will work just fine. Remember, you don't have to specifically show him the papers in your file, just allow him to notice them as you rummage through looking for your note pad.
Have a written set of questions to ask him prepared in advance. Chances are that he will not have any written notes prepared ahead. This sets the agenda for the meeting -- and it's your agenda.
Should you meet with the police officer ahead of time? Obsolutely! Arrange to meet him in a suitable sit-down, quite place. Present your case which is crystal-clear: the club has no legal authority to confiscate private property. If the club thinks that you were committing a crime, then they should have called for a police officer instead of taking matters into their own hands. Also indicate to the officer that the man you'll be meeting with was very belligerent with you on the telephone and that you fear that he might be physically violent toward you.
they looked at me up and down, as if trying to ID me from the FBI 10-most-wanted list!
They were doing exactly that. This is what they're trained to do. You'd be amazed at how many wanted criminals are aprehended because an alert officer recognized them.
Police officers deal every day with the worst elements in society. Every other person they come into contact with is a criminal, insane, or violent. The best way to win over a police officer is simply be polite and to show them kindness and respect.
Tomorrow, you should go down to your police station, explain the situation, that you've agreed to meet with this man on Friday with a police officer present, and that while you intend to do everything in your power to be calm and civil, you fear, based on your telephone conversation with the man, that he may get violent.
Finally, when you have your meeting, if the discussion does turn abusive or even violent or if it becomes clear that you're not making any progress, just gather up your papers, cap your pen and put it in your pocket, fold up your folder, and say, "I had hoped that we could resolve this matter quickly and quietly this evening, but it's clear from your tone that this discussion is not going anywhere and that we're not going to accomplish anything at this time. You have my number. Thank you for your time. My attorney will be in touch with you. Good night." and walk out.
The fact that this is going to happen on Friday evening means that you have time to do some research. Go to the library and get a copy of your state's laws regarding knives. There's nothing like being able to say, "Oh, I happen to have a copy of that law right here..." to end an argument and to leave the impression that you're knowledgable and that you've done your research which also indicates that you're serious about the matter.
Call your state Attorney General's Office and ask them if your knife is legal. Get the name of the person you spoke to. This will be especially significant to a police officer. You can say, "I spoke yesterday with my friend Assistant Attorney General Robert Davis who personally confirmed for me that this knife is legal." Describe for him your situation and ask if a private dance club has the authority to confiscate private property. That way, you can go on saying, "Assistant Attorney General Davis also told me that..."
Again, be like the ocean. Let him know that the tide is coming in.
