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Make me laugh, win stuff
- Thread starter clich
- Start date
Dave from State Farm
Basic Member
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- Aug 24, 2011
- Messages
- 4,749
Ok C, I'll give a go. Aspiring, and feel free to use the boots if need be.
Thanks for the chance if ya think I fit.
Thanks for the chance if ya think I fit.
thrillbilly
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- Apr 16, 2011
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- 4,750
Official Beckerhead # Two-Fiddy
A tourist is in Alaska visiting an Inuit village. After a couple days he approaches the Chief and asks how he can become a Tribe member.
The Chief tells him ''You must drink this gallon of our homemade likker, then go out and fight a polar bear with just a BK13....when you return you must bed the oldest, ugliest, fattest squaw in the village...then you will be a Tribesman''.
So the tourist (I think he was from Barlow) guzzled the likker and staggered out into the snow to find a bear. Hours later, he returns...and bleeding from numerous wounds, clothes torn off, he limps up to the Chieftain and slurs ''Where's this here Fugly squaw I'm 'posed to knife-fight?"
A tourist is in Alaska visiting an Inuit village. After a couple days he approaches the Chief and asks how he can become a Tribe member.
The Chief tells him ''You must drink this gallon of our homemade likker, then go out and fight a polar bear with just a BK13....when you return you must bed the oldest, ugliest, fattest squaw in the village...then you will be a Tribesman''.
So the tourist (I think he was from Barlow) guzzled the likker and staggered out into the snow to find a bear. Hours later, he returns...and bleeding from numerous wounds, clothes torn off, he limps up to the Chieftain and slurs ''Where's this here Fugly squaw I'm 'posed to knife-fight?"
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- Joined
- Dec 10, 2010
- Messages
- 492
Official entry. BH 153. Thanks for the shot!
You may notice a theme. Today's theme is Canada.
You may notice a theme. Today's theme is Canada.
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2010
- Messages
- 3,723
I'll add more later but ...
1. this punchline is so good, it doesn't even need a joke:
Rectum? Darned near killed him!
2.
3.
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Beckerhead #42
1. this punchline is so good, it doesn't even need a joke:
Rectum? Darned near killed him!
2.
3.
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Beckerhead #42
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2011
- Messages
- 551
This makes me laugh everytime. Hope this link works....
http://www.hulu.com/watch/182720/saturday-night-live-the-bjelland-brothers
http://www.hulu.com/watch/182720/saturday-night-live-the-bjelland-brothers
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- Apr 13, 2012
- Messages
- 59
aspiring beckerhead!
official entry
official entry
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2011
- Messages
- 2,603
BeckerHead #186, official entry! Sweet giveaway idea.
Disclaimer: These are not mine, I just think they are hilarious!
And I have to throw in my favorite Mitch Hedberg quote too!
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
Thanks for the chance, hopefully at least one of these gets a laugh out of you even if I don't win.
Disclaimer: These are not mine, I just think they are hilarious!
And I have to throw in my favorite Mitch Hedberg quote too!
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
Thanks for the chance, hopefully at least one of these gets a laugh out of you even if I don't win.
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Pug-butter
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Aspiring Beckerhead #9001. Thanks for the chance!
Last edited:
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- Jun 25, 2009
- Messages
- 636
aspiring beckerhead right here
a man goes to the dr. to get a checkup,and the dr. tells him"im gonna need a sperm and a urine specimen.we'll do the urine here,and you can take this cup home and get me the sperm specimen."the next day he comes back with the cup empty.the dr. asks"why is it empty?"to which he replies:"well,i tried to get one for ya and i couldnt do it.so my wife tries for me and i still couldnt do it.so then her sister comes over,and still no specimen."the dr then asks"all that and you couldnt ejaculate?"to which he replies"no i couldnt get the damn cap off the cup!"
thanx for the chance!
a man goes to the dr. to get a checkup,and the dr. tells him"im gonna need a sperm and a urine specimen.we'll do the urine here,and you can take this cup home and get me the sperm specimen."the next day he comes back with the cup empty.the dr. asks"why is it empty?"to which he replies:"well,i tried to get one for ya and i couldnt do it.so my wife tries for me and i still couldnt do it.so then her sister comes over,and still no specimen."the dr then asks"all that and you couldnt ejaculate?"to which he replies"no i couldnt get the damn cap off the cup!"
thanx for the chance!
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2011
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- 1,118
official entry beckerhead #88
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- Nov 2, 2010
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- 770
first time i saw this, i laughed. then i realized it was like looking in a mirror, and i cried for a while.
but that's ok. b/c it's also funny when other people cry.
but that's ok. b/c it's also funny when other people cry.
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- Nov 12, 2007
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- 4,858
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2009
- Messages
- 1,018
OK I'll try this as I don't own a Becker but want to SOME day.
A man and woman get married. It's a dream wedding and everything is perfect! As they leave the church the bride see's a horse and carriage awaiting them to leave in. They hop in and as they head down the road the horse rears up. The Groom grabs the whip.....snaps the horse and says THATS ONE!.......they go down the road a bit more and the horse rears up again......the groom grabs the whip....snaps the horse and says........THATS TWO!........as they pull in to their new home as husband and wife the horse kicks up again. The groom pulls out a shotgun and blows the horse away. The Wife horrified says.......HONEY!.....WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING TO SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL????????......The Husband looks at her and says.....THATS ONE!.............
A man and woman get married. It's a dream wedding and everything is perfect! As they leave the church the bride see's a horse and carriage awaiting them to leave in. They hop in and as they head down the road the horse rears up. The Groom grabs the whip.....snaps the horse and says THATS ONE!.......they go down the road a bit more and the horse rears up again......the groom grabs the whip....snaps the horse and says........THATS TWO!........as they pull in to their new home as husband and wife the horse kicks up again. The groom pulls out a shotgun and blows the horse away. The Wife horrified says.......HONEY!.....WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING TO SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL????????......The Husband looks at her and says.....THATS ONE!.............
